4 Steps to Stop Self Sabotage


How many times have you found yourself halting your dreams midstream? Frustrating, right?  I know.  I know.   If you’re prone to self-sabotage, like I am, things might seem to go awry just before you’re ready to do something bigger and bolder.

It’s tricky and sly, this sabotaging fiend.   And sometimes we don’t even know we’re doing it.  Coming down with a cold, or getting injured, may seem like an unfortunate coincidence that interrupts your creative flow.  But what if it’s not.  What if it’s one more way that you’re getting in your own way, and halting your dreams midstream?

Certainly, there are the obvious self-sabotaging habits such as constantly checking your phone when it’s time to work, or watching Netflix instead of writing your blog, or doing the laundry instead of going to that networking meeting you promised to attend.  The list is endless.

Self-sabotage shows up everywhere!  It includes:  procrastination, neglecting your schedule, ‘forgetting’ to respond to emails or phone calls, not speaking up for yourself, not charging enough for your work, and not reaching for bigger opportunities.

Because I’ve caught myself so many times thrashing against the undertow of self-sabotage, I’ve come up with a process to help stop it before it starts.

Here are 4 Steps to Stop Self Sabotage:

Step 1 Clear the Fear.

Plain and simple, we avoid things that feel scary.  Get clear about what frightens you about your dreams.  Are you scared of rejection?  Of failure?  Of too much success?  Of what other people will think?

First, write down everything that scares you.  Next, take your time to focus on one at a time, tuning into the fear that you feel.  Sometimes just bringing your fear to light is enough to help it dissipate.  Deep breathing, and EFT Tapping will help to reduce the fear.

Step 2  Drop out of Negative Mind Chatter.

Mind chatter is distracting, and will pull you out of focus.  When engaged, negative mind chatter can have the power to halt your progress.  When you’re feeling down about yourself, it can feel tempting to drop everything and head out for a glass of wine, or a triple mocha latte.  The key is to override the negative chatter.

One of my favorite methods to override negative chatter, is using the heart breath.  The heart breath is a method of deep breathing in which you imagine you’re breathing through your heart.  Your heart’s energy is more powerful than your brain’s, and will help to entrain your brain into a calmer, more productive state.  By dropping out of your head, into your heart, you create a sense of overall peace that will help you get back into creative focus.

Click here for a free Heartbreath Meditation.

Step 3 Get Clear.

Often we sabotage ourselves because we’re not clear about what we really want. 

It’s hard to feel motivated and productive when we’re working towards goals that aren’t right for us.  It may seem like you’re going for your dreams, but maybe there’s something you’re not seeing.

When you feel like you’re getting nowhere, slow down and get clear. Perhaps you can take a different route towards your dream.  Perhaps your dream can take on a completely different form, that’s even better.  Sometimes we get so stuck in what we think we should do to reach our dreams, that we lose our passion.  Passion and clarity is what drives success.

So to get clear, it’s imperative to listen to your heart.  You can do this simply by closing your eyes, breathing deeply, and breathing in and out of your heart, as you would for the heart breath.  As you’re breathing this way, ask yourself a question about your situation. Ask a question about your next best steps.  Allow your heart to answer.  Listen to my free training for more tips to get clear.

Step 4  Activate Your Success & Get Into Creative Your Flow

Once you’re feeling calm, clear, and focused, it’s time to take action.  Taking small action steps is the best way to increase your motivation to do more.  Write down a list of small steps you can take to reach your goals.  And start stepping.  You will a sense of success and motivation as you complete each step. This feeling will help you go further, and further.  Keep adding to your list of actions steps, so you’re consistently activating your success.

Once you’ve got yourself going, it’s time to get into your creative flow.  Creative flow happens when you stay with your work.  Sometimes we sabotage ourselves by leaving a project when it feels too hard.  But, instead of leaving, when we stay with what’s uncomfortable, and allow higher guidance to come through, we are carried through the act of creation.

For more tips to stop self sabotage, listen to my Free Training:  4 Steps to Stop Self Sabotage and Ignite Your Success.

In Courage,



Your #1 Key To Unlock Your Brilliance

It might surprise you to know that Relaxation is the absolute #1 Key to unlocking your brilliance.

Relax?  You might say.  How can I? There’s too much to do!

I frequently hear this from my clients.  This sense that it’s not okay to relax when so much is going on.  A sense of overwhelm that feels like being stuck and spinning out of control all at the same time.  A sense that taking time to relax might just make everything fall apart.

Stuck and spinning, and not enough time or energy to relax.

But it’s relaxation which will help you get unstuck and stop spinning on the hamster wheel of stress.

It’s simple. Stress increases the stress hormone cortisol.  This increase in cortisol triggers blood loss from the thinking part of your brain. In other words, when you’re stressed, your brain is far less effective.  Lower efficiency drains your time and energy, and helps create a sense of overwhelm.

Relaxation helps to reduce cortisol, and bring blood back to the thinking part of your brain.  When you’re relaxed, your brain is more efficient.  And, when you’re relaxed, you are open to fresh new ideas.

EFT Tapping is one of the most powerful techniques for reducing cortisol, and helping you relax. Simply tapping on the karate chop point, while breathing deeply, will help in a stressful situation.

It’s this place of peace and relaxation that will help you open to your true brilliance.  Your brilliance is there, underneath all the stress and anxiety. It’s been there all along.

Keep a few techniques ‘handy’ to use whenever you need to relax.  In addition to EFT, deep breathing, yoga, walking, and the heart breath are all powerful ways to help yourself relax. Click here to download a Heart Breath Audio.

In Courage,


FREE TRAINING:  Overcome the Fear of Shining in Your Business So You can Do What You Love. Click here for download.

Make Friends with Your Critical Voice

What does your critical voice tell you?  Does it tell you that you’re not good enough?  Does it scold you when you make a mistake?  Perhaps it tells you that you’ll screw things up.  Or that you’ll never succeed, because you never have…

The power of your critical voice might be so strong that it stops you from truly living your life.  Maybe you’re not going for that job you really want, because the voice tells you you’ll never get it.  Perhaps you avoid social situations, or intimate relationships, because your critic warns you of rejection.

Maybe it’s that chronic critical whisper, that makes you want to hide your creative works.  Or worse, it stops you from creating them at all.

The more you listen to your critical voice, the more you will believe it. When you believe it,  you won’t question it.  And, because you believe it, you will continually behave in ways to prove that the voice is right.

What if, instead of bowing to the power of  your critical voice, you could befriend it instead.

What if you could  make peace with your critical voice  — and ask it to work for you, instead of against you.

As with all friends, to make friends with your critical voice, you must first make an effort to understand it. From both personal and professional experience, here’s what I know about the critical voice inside:

Your critical voice re-circulates old beliefs about yourself.

Your critical voice repeats what other people told you about yourself.

Your critical voice is not your true voice.

Your critical voice is trying to protect you.

You use your critical voice as a way to stay safe.

You are more powerful than your critical voice.

Your critical voice targets the exact places that most need your compassionate forgiveness.

When you truly understand your critical voice, you can begin to see the ways it has tried to protect you from getting hurt. For example, when you believe you’re not good enough, or that your work isn’t good enough, it’s easy to hold back.  Holding back is an effective way to stay safe.  Exactly what your critical voice wants.

Unfortunately, our own critical voice is far more critical than most people would ever be.  And, holding back when you feel discouraged, can feel worse than courageously stepping forward.  In the end, believing in your critical voice will hurt you more than taking risks.

Next time your critical voice tries to discourage you, take a moment to acknowledge her.   Stop to say: “Hello, I hear you. Thank you for keeping me safe.”  Breathe deeply, and allow her words to release.

Next, tell her some of the the encouraging words you’d like to hear instead.  Practice pivoting from critical words to the encouraging words.  It takes time, but with practice, it will become easier and easier to believe in yourself.

Remember that your critical voice targets your most hidden, insecure places.  These are exactly the places that need the most encouragement, the most compassion, the most understanding.  More criticism won’t help — it will only trigger more holding back.  Shift from discouragement to encouragement, and  you will find your courage.

Bottom Line – your critical voice wants to keep you safe.  Honor this, by finding ways to make risk-taking feel safer.  Stop trying to please the critics.  Stop listening to the naysayers.  Instead, surround yourself with encouraging people.  Share your work with people you trust.  Talk to yourself in encouraging ways.  Use techniques such as EFT and guided meditation to help you feel better about yourself.

To learn more about my Tame Your Inner Critic Mini Program, click here.

In Courage,


P.S.  Share this with someone you’d love to encourage.

My Top 10 Stress Busters


Stress can happen anytime, anywhere.  And, these days, it’s easy to walk right into it.  From finances and job obligations, to family and home, you might be dealing with an abundance of stress triggers throughout your day. Add in a dose of politics and world events, and it’s easy to get overloaded.

Of course, as a Certified EFT Practitioner, I always recommend using EFT Tapping to ‘deactivate’ persistent stress triggers.  It’s amazing how EFT can help shift the overall stress load in any given situation, even if nothing else changes.

But, life happens.  And, no matter how ‘zen’ you are, stress happens too.  What’s more, the stress hormone cortisol triggers blood loss from the thinking part of your brain,  and will interfere with your ability to think most effectively.  What’s crucial is to  release stress as you go, to prevent stress from building up until it manifests as pain, or emotional unbalance.

Releasing stress on a daily basis will help you keep your energy and nervous system calm and well balanced.

Here are my Top 10 Stress Busters (in no particular order) :

Meditation —   Meditation has been shown to  activate the body’s relaxation response. Starting the day with a short 10-20 minute meditation will help create  a peaceful tone for the rest of the day.

Exercise — Workouts such as cardio, yoga, and strength training help increase feel-good endorphins, our body’s natural pain relievers.  Moving and stretching your body will also help release tight muscular tension and stress.  Be sure to stretch before and after your workout to increase flexibility and prevent injury.

Tulsi Tea — Tulsi Tea is made from the adaptogenic herb Holy Basil.  An adaptogenic herb works as an  anti-stress agent.  Holy Basil helps regulate serum cortisol levels and has been found to reduce anxiety and emotional stress.  Organic India offers Tulsi Tea in a variety of delicious flavors.  Mountain Rose Herbs sells Holy Basil in bulk.

Magnesium Bath —  Magnesium is crucial for a number of bodily functions, including the relaxation of body and mind.  It’s widely available in a variety of foods.  Magnesium, however, is easily depleted.  Tight muscles or  a stressed mind might be symptoms of deficient magnesium.  A bath or foot soak in Epsom Salts, or any other type of magnesium salts, will help you replenish depleted magnesium.

Deep Breathing —  Remember to breathe, deeply.  Deep breathing promotes your body’s relaxation response.

Heart Breath — Breathing from your heart takes you out of stressful mind-chatter.  When activated, your heart actually has the power to help your brain  relax.  Click here to download a Heart Breath Audio.

Laughter — Laughter helps oxygenate and relax your body and mind.  Laughter increases endorphins and reduces cortisol   Laughter feels really good and can act as a carthasis to release trapped emotions.   Take laughter seriously !  Watch funny movies, comedy shows,  funny animal Youtube videos, and talk regularly with people who make you laugh.

Binaural Beats — A type of audio-therapy — music embedded with different wave-length frequencies — which helps reduce stress and anxiety.  When listened to with headphones, binaural beats will help entrain brainwaves into a deeper, more relaxed state.

Nature Walk — Nothing like sunshine and fresh air to boost your mood.   Simple, and very powerful.

EFT Tapping — EFT Tapping is one of the best techniques to reduce cortisol, the major stress hormone.  Just tapping on your karate chop point, while breathing deeply, can help calm frayed nerves.  For illustrated EFT Tapping Instructions, click here

Choose a few  of your favorite stress-relief techniques to keep in your ‘back pocket’, and  use as often as needed.  It’s amazing how good it feels to let go!

In Courage,


FREE TRAINING:  Overcome the Fear of Shining in Your Business So You can Do What You Love. Click here for download.



Let Go of Resistance

Young woman in red jacket resisting big metal spring

I’ve come up against a lot of resistance lately.  Especially with my work. This happens sometimes. Problem is, if I stay in resistance, I will get very little done beyond my already-scheduled appointments.  Been there, done that, too many times.

Luckily, it’s because I’m so familiar with resistance, that I’ve taken the time to look at it more deeply.  And, I’ve been able to create techniques and systems to help myself get out of it.

In my quest to overcome resistance to my work, I’ve learned a great deal from the activities which I don’t resist as much.  Such as my morning meditations.  Or my regular Daily Burn workouts.   Or any other activity that I do on a consistent basis to improve my life.

It’s not that these activities are always enjoyable. In fact, I have, and sometimes still do, resist them.  But most of the time I show up without giving myself an out.  Sometimes I truly enjoy myself.  Sometimes I don’t. But I do it anyway.

And I began to see.  It’s the showing up, no matter what, that brings the results I’m looking for.  Before long, the showing up becomes a habit.  A habit I don’t think about.  An activity I don’t worry about, or resist, because I know it’s worth it even if I don’t love every second of it.

To me, resistance feels like energy. Dark and heavy.  It looks like an ever expanding wall, building up between me and whatever  I’m avoiding.  And so often, if not always, once I let go of the resistance, and take action, I feel amazingly empowered.

Resistance is a feeling which distorts our perception of the activity we’re resisting.

Resistance is usually laced with fear, dread, and anxiety.  It doesn’t feel good.  When we feel this way, it’s hard to see clearly. What’s important is helping ourselves let go of the resistance in order to move into productive action.

Here are a few things you can do to reduce resistance:

  1. Throw yourself into an activity without over-thinking it. Just show up and allow yourself to navigate through, knowing that you are making progress.
  2. Use EFT Tapping to clear resistance. EFT will help you release negative feelings associated with the activity you’re resisting.
  3. Take small action steps in the direction of the activity you’re resisting. Sometimes we resist taking action because our action steps are too large. Make your action steps manageable.
  4. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Making progress can be tedious, uncomfortable, and irritating.  Keep going.  It’s the progress you’re looking for.  The dream you’re going for.  That’s what it’s all about.
  5. Change your scenery. If possible, do your work in different setting.  Or change up your environment.  The point is to get out of the energy of resistance.

For EFT Tapping to Help you Let Go of Resistance, listen here:


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In Courage,

FREE TRAINING:  Overcome the Fear of Shining in Your Business So You can Do What You Love. Click here for download.