What Do You Expect?

Green cartel with text "Great Expectations", 3d render

Really, what do you expect?  There’s an energy in your expectations, which will affect your behavior, and eventually lead you to attract what you expect.  So, be mindful of your expectations.

Expectations come from past experiences, most often childhood.  For example, if you frequently heard the word ‘no’ when you asked for something as a child, you might refrain from asking for things directly. Expecting to hear a ‘no’, you might find yourself cushioning your requests in an effort to make them sound sweeter.  Or, perhaps you avoid asking for things all together.

If you consistently got rejected by a group of friends, you might expect to be rejected in your current social situations.  This expectation might cause you to act shy, or ‘not yourself’ around other people. This type of behavior can lead to even more rejection, since people won’t be able to get to know you in the way you want to be known.

Expectations such as “work is hard”, or “there’s never enough time”, or “I’ll never get ahead”, will contribute to negative feelings, such as anxiety and fear. These negative feelings will make things feel hard, and zap your motivation, and your ability, to get things done.

Expectations can be tricky, since they’re so often proven right.  Because we see the proof, our expectations seem like indisputable facts. And if they’re indisputable facts, how can we change them?

The key here, is to realize that expectations are merely thoughts about the future, seen through the lens of past experience. 

So, even if we might not be able to change an indisputable fact, we can change both our thoughts, and the lens through which we see our future.

The bottom line? We can change our expectations to help us get what we really want.

How to change your expectations:

Be open to the possibilities. Things might turn out differently than you expect. You can’t be certain about what will happen in the future, so be open to different possibilities.

Rewrite your expectations. Write down a list of your most prominent negative expectations, and rewrite them to be more positive. For example — Change “I’ll never succeed” to  “Wouldn’t it be great if I succeeded at that.”  Don’t force a positive expectation that doesn’t feel true.  Instead, rewrite your expectation as a possible desirable outcome.

Notice your positive expectations. What do you consistently expect?  Do you you expect a great workout?  Do you expect a productive work time?  Do you expect a pleasant conversation with a certain friend?  Watch what happens with your positive expectations.

Keep a positive expectation journal. Expectations love proof. Note what happens as a result of shifting your thoughts.

Visualize.  Close your eyes and imagine a desirable outcome. As much as possible, get into the ‘energy’ of the scene using your emotions and senses.  Visualization will help you change your beliefs about what is possible.

Change your expectations and you will change everything.

 

In Courage,

Marian

 

To clear the old lens through which you see your future, contact me to learn how EFT Tapping can help.

My New Podcast!  Courageous HeartBeats.  Listen on iTunes.

 

3 Places Fear Loves to Hide & What to Do About It!

Depositphotos_1804066_s-2015Not only do we hide from fear, but fear also hides from us, waiting to pounce and sabotage our best efforts in business and creative projects.  Here are some of the places where fear loves to hide.

Procrastination –

An all-time-favorite hiding place for fear.  When a job or task feels scary, it might feel easy and even natural to avoid it.  Unfortunately, habitual avoidance = procrastination.

Procrastination takes you on the ultimate guilt-trip. We blame ourselves for being lazy, and this feeling of laziness leads to more of the same.  A soul-sucking cycle for sure.

Instead, what if the next time you find yourself procrastinating, you simply take a moment to notice what you’re feeling inside.  Take a look at the activity you’re avoiding.  Ask yourself why you’re avoiding it. Notice any fear that arises.  Next, try one of the methods listed below to help calm your fear.

Over Busyness –

Busyness may seem like the opposite of procrastination, but not always.  Keeping yourself overly busy, with tasks unrelated to your creative projects, might mean you’re avoiding something scary.

It can feel very scary to expand our talents and creativity.  Conversely, it can feel much safer to keep busy with busywork, volunteer work, housework, etc.  And then, before you know it, there’s no time left over for your dream.

The next time you find yourself busy with everything but your business or creative work, get clear on what you’re avoiding.  Decide upon one quick step you can take towards the project you’re avoiding.  Build your momentum with quick, small actions that won’t stress your overly-busy life.

Indecision —

How many times have you felt stuck in indecision, when it feels impossible to make the right decision?  Or desperately muddled, unable to see any clear choice of action.  It’s frustrating, for sure.

It’s important to know that indecision often points to a fear of clarity.  Or rather, a fear of what you know needs doing.  Getting clear might mean making a scary decision, such as leaving a job, starting a new business, scrapping an idea, or taking some sort of risk.

When you’re feeling besieged by indecision and anxiety about your next best steps, relax.  Clarity comes most easily when you’re relaxed.  When you’re feeling more relaxed, get clear on what you really want.  Then take a step in that direction.  Allow your intuition to guide you each step of the way. Try one of the techniques below to help yourself relax.

Three Methods to Help Calm Your Fears:

Deep Breathing – Slow, deep breathing helps to oxygenate your blood, and facilitates better brain function. Deep breathing also helps stimulate the para-sympathetic nervous system, to create a calm state of being.

EFT Tapping – EFT Tapping helps reduce cortisol, the major stress hormone released when we’re in fear.  Using EFT tapping when you’re feeling fear, helps to reduce the intensity of the fear, and can often neutralize it.  Click here for more information on EFT Tapping.  To learn more about using EFT Tapping to reduce fear and anxiety, contact me.

Heart Breath – The Heart Breath is another form of deep breathing where you imagine that you’re breathing in and out through your heart.  It’s a fabulous technique to help you move out of a fearful, busy mind, into the wisdom of your heart.  Click here for a free audio meditation.

Find that fear, clear it, and do it anyway!

In Courage,

Marian

Free workshop for solopreneurs, entrepreneurs, and creatives:  Overcome Your Fear of Shining in Your Business, So You Can Do What You Love.  Click here for the download.

Tap into Your Creative Flow

vector concept - creativity and brain

I admit, I got stuck in the rut of believing that creativity refers only to the act of creating music,  artwork, or a written, theatrical or cinematic work.

And so I’d sit, and I’d sit, trying to come up with something creative.   Or I’d wonder and ponder, “What will I create”.  I wanted a finished product to prove my creativity.  And rarely did it appear.  Frustrated, I would walk away, not daring to ‘try’ again for a while.

The pressure felt too great.  My expectations too high.  Always looking so far ahead at the finish line, I never saw how I would get ‘there’ from ‘here’. So far, so why even try.

I had absolutely no clue of what creativity really means.

And then it came to me, what my daughters’ art teachers always said:

It’s the process, not the final product, that counts.

As I surrender into this wisdom, I see the TRUTH. It  truly IS the process.  The process of showing up and allowing creative flow to guide me.

And when I show up, and let go, trusting my creative flow, I am guided as I write my blog, or create a new program or workshop.  It’s this trust that allows me to create.  And it’s so much fun!

What I also see now, which was never so clear, is that creativity is everywhere.  It’s in the creative solution to an old problem.  The sumptuous meal made from left-over scraps.  The enjoyable workout for a healthier body.  The rejuvenation of a old friendship.  A brand new perception of the same old thing.  Creativity is everywhere we choose to use it.

Yet, how does it show up when we want it to?  Here are some ideas to help you tap into your creative flow:

How to tap into your creativity:

Free Write:  Julia Cameron, author of the Artist’s Way, recommends morning pages, three hand-written pages first thing in the morning.  I’ve been doing them for 7 years, and I’m amazed at the insights that come from those pages.  Any sort of free-flow writing will help you let go of the inner censor, and allow your creative genius to flow.

Use music:  Music designed for better focus, such as  focus@will  will help you stay on track during  your creative process.  Cultivate your own sound track to facilitate focus and flow.

Get out of your head:  Creative flow comes from a much deeper place than your logical, judgemental, mind. Allow your intuition to guide you.  Try using the Heart Breath to drop out of your busy mind, and into your creative, intuitive heart. Click here for a free guided audio.

Meditate, regularly:  Meditation will help you tap into the creative metaphors and visualizations which will inform your process. Keep a notepad handy to write down your insights.

Show up:  Creativity will not flourish without you.  Take that first step, and notice, that when you surrender to the process, it all comes together in a way that you never imagined. No matter how messy, when you stay with the process, it will transform.

Inspire yourself, daily:  Do something every day to help yourself feel inspired to create. Read inspiring literature.  Listen to inspiring podcasts.  Walk in Nature.  Visit galleries. Go to a show. Go window-shopping.  Experience places and activities which awaken your sense of curiosity.

Use EFT Tapping:  EFT will help you clear resistance, fear, negativity, and limiting beliefs.  For an  illustrated guide on how to use EFT Tapping, click here.  To learn more about using EFT Tapping to tap into your creativity, contact me.

How do you bring creativity to the world.  What is your creative genius eager to share?

In Courage,

Marian

To apply for a free 30-Minute Unleash Your Creative Genius Call, click here.

WHAT IS COURAGE

courage confront fears and bravery the ability no fear pain danger uncertainty and intimidation fearless

In the process of recording interviews for my upcoming podcast series, Courageous Heartbeats, I’ve been asking many of my colleagues about the courage they summon in order to follow their hearts to do what they love.

Frequently I hear the response: “Well, I really wasn’t that courageous….”

However, truly, each step any one of us takes in pursuit of our heart-felt dreams is indeed an act of courage!

Courage shows up in so many different ways and sizes.  There are the enormous leaps, such as leaving a job to start a business, or leaving an unhealthy marriage, and the smaller, ongoing, everyday acts of showing up to do the work.

I’m interested in every act of courage.  Why?  Because fear hides everywhere.  And when courage has the guts to overcome fear, that deserves to be noticed.  Noticing our acts of courage can help us feel more courageous, and step out of the fear that holds us back.

For some of us it can take an enormous amount of courage just to send an email to a prospective client.

For others it takes courage to show up each morning to create something fueled only by the glimmer of an idea.

It takes courage to introduce yourself to someone you don’t know. Courage to speak your mind.  Courage to express your creative gifts. Courage to change your routine.  Courage to stop smoking, drinking, or eating junk.  Courage to break through the habit of procrastination, or over-busyness, or holding back your gifts.

Focus on your courage, and it will grow. Here are some suggestions:

  1. Keep a courage journal – Write down each day the ways in which you’ve used courage.
  2. Grow Your Courage – Decide on an area in which you’d like to be more courageous. Create a list of small steps you can take help yourself feel more confident.  Take action.
  3. Imagine Yourself Courageous – Choose a future scenario where you’d likely be scared. See yourself there, and imagine feeling calm, centered, and courageous. The more details, the better.  This exercise will help you feel much more comfortable as you approach your goal.
  4. Tap in Your Courage –– Use EFT Tapping to tap in phrases such as:  I Love Feeling Courageous, I Love Breaking Through Fear, Courage Feels So Good, I Love Making Progress, etc.  For an illustrated tapping guide, click here.

In Courage,

Marian

Click here to register for free Online Training: HOW TO OVERCOME THE FEAR OF SHINING IN YOUR BUSINESS SO YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU LOVE. A workshop for heart-centered solopreneurs, entrepreneurs, and creatives.

 

 

Unloop the Mind Chatter Loop

A cassette tape has been destroyed and the tape unraveled.

That trusty mind-chatter loop, you can always count on it to remind you about what you haven’t done, what’s wrong with your life, your body, your finances, and anything else that could possibly worry you.

It’s sneaky, convincing, sometimes outright manipulative.  It will do anything, and everything, to win the grand prize of controlling your every thought and action.  It will spin you down dark spirals, it will keep you hiding from opportunities, it will deny you your peace of mind.

Many clients tell me it visits them at night.   That’s its favorite time.  That window of time when we lie captive in the dark, the mind-loop swells ominous.  Mine tends to show up right before it’s time to get up for the day — trying to scare me back to sleep.

What’s important to realize is that the mind loop is truly all in your head.  It’s the ego/brain’s way of keeping us safe, in its own strange way.

The problem is, when you’re stuck in a mind loop, your mind is not free to access helpful information or solutions.  When your mind is wrapped around what’s wrong…. that’s all it sees.  It cannot see anything else.  Un-loop your mind, and you will see the possibilities.  You will see the solutions you never knew were there.

Here are some suggestions to unloop the mind-loop.

Write — Use writing to move looping thoughts out of your head. Write  your to-do list into a notebook which you can refer to on a daily basis.  Keep a journal to do a morning or evening mind-dump.  Write solutions to problems.  Write down your dreams and goals. Refer to them on a regular basis to build and refine.  Once you move anything out of your head it’s easier manage.

Get Physical–  A mind-loop will keep you spinning in your head.  Do something physical, to move back into your body.  Take a walk.  Jump up and down.  Exercise.  The goal is to  focus on the physical activity, and the feelings in your body.

Sit Quietly —  Close your eyes, and  breath slowly and deeply.  Notice how you feel.  Watch your breath as it flows in and out of your body.  Notice any thoughts, without judging or engaging with them.  Sit quietly, breathing deeply, for as long as you like.

Do the Heart Breath — Similar to quiet sitting, with the Heart Breath, you imagine that you’re breathing in and out of your heart.  Breathing this way for a few minutes will help you drop out of your mind, and into your heart. Click here to download my Heart Breath Meditation.

EFT Tapping — EFT Tapping is a powerful way to clear a persistent mind-loop.  Tapping helps to dismantle neural pathways that keep us stuck in habitual negative patterns. If you’re familiar with EFT, use it to tap on your feelings about specific aspects of the mind-loop.  For example, use it to tap on your feelings of anxiety about the project you haven’t started.  Once you begin to clear the anxiety, new solutions will begin to appear.   Click here to learn more about EFT Tapping.

In Courage,

Marian

To apply for a free 30-Minute Unleash Your Courage Call, click here.