Marian Buck Murray

Release, Relax, Tap into Your Brilliance. EFT Tapping to help you unleash your creative genius.

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How To Get Back Up After You Fall Down

February 13, 2018 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

 

Watching the Olympics, it’s easy to feel inspired. So many strong, able, beautiful bodies all in one place.  So many inspiring stories.  It motivates me to get my own body into really good shape.

But I, like most of us, am not even close to understanding what athletes go through to get to the Olympics in the first place.

We all know it’s a lot of work.  Pre-dawn wake-ups, hard-core work-outs, compromises, schedules, expenses, pain, injury, and rejection.

What we don’t know, because they’re too numerous to count, are how many times the athletes fell down.  In practice.  At competitions.  The first 100 or 1000 times they tried.

What we do see, however, after all the pain, are the phenomenal feats of athletes such as Skater Adam Rippon, Snowboarder Chloe Kim, Cross Country Skier Simen Kreuger, and so many others.  We see them when they’re at their best.  And, even then, sometimes they fall, and then they get back up again. 

And of course, there’s Shaun White, who, after failing to medal in 2014, and after a horrific crash in the Fall of 2017, got back up again to win the Gold in 2018!

What brings these athletes to the Olympics is not only their enormous talent and skill, but their ability to persevere — to get back up after falling — and continue on, right where they left off.

I fall down when I get some sort of rejection in my business.  Or when I create an idea for a workshop that just doesn’t fly. Or when I find myself neglecting my work, my health, or my family.

Where do you fall down?  What do you do to get back up?

Of course, it hurts to fall down. And the more we fall, the worse it can feel!  And, if we’re sensitive or perfectionistic, it might feel almost unbearable.  But each time we fall, we’re presented once again, with the chance to get back up and do it even better the next time.

Here are some tips to help you get back up again:

Accept mistakes and misfortunes as part of the game.  It’s not about something being wrong with you. Or even that you did something wrong. The more you swim around in feelings of defeat, the more defeated you will feel. Allow yourself to begin to let go of your perception that mistakes and ‘failures’ are wrong.  Instead, remind yourself that each misstep is actually a stepping stone towards your goal.

Surround yourself with love and acceptance.  Give yourself some much-needed love at those times when you’re feeling down and defeated. Hug yourself, literally, by wrapping your arms across your chest, holding the points above your elbows. Close your eyes, and hold yourself like this, breathing deeply, and imagine a field of love and compassion all around you.

Feel your uncomfortable feelings, and then let them go.  It’s okay to feel sad, angry, disappointed, ashamed, frustrated, or scared when you lose your footing.  Embrace these feelings, and then let them release. Holding onto them, or resisting them, will only make them stronger in the end.  Try deep breathing, meditation, or EFT Tapping to clear away your uncomfortable feelings.

Use your experience as guidance for your next step.  What can you learn from your fall?  What can you do differently next time?  Is there a different way to prepare?  Do you have inner blocks or doubts you need to release?  Assess your situation, take action, and move forward.

Use Creative Visualization.  Visualization is a very popular tool among athletes. Often, you’ll notice that an athlete appears to be going over her routine in her mind, right before a performance. This visual rehearsing helps the subconscious mind remember what to do, automatically.  When done consistently, visualization will teach the subconscious mind a new pattern, and the ‘thinking’ brain (with all its fears and limitations) can take a rest.

Reach out for support.  One thing is very clear.  Athletes need the support of their coaches, teammates, friends, and family.  A healthy source of support can help minimize the effects of failure. If you’re feeling unsupported, reach out to a friend, family member, or professional. The right support will help you feel encouraged, so you can build and strengthen your sense of value, confidence, and courage.

What I love about EFT Tapping and Matrix Reimprinting, is that they’re such amazing tools to help when we’ve fallen down. EFT helps to release uncomfortable feelings, and increase a sense of peace and calm. Matrix Reimprinting uses the creative mind to overwrite an old limiting vision with a brand new, positive vision. Invaluable tools to help us get back up again.  Contact me to learn more.

In Love and Courage,

Marian

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Courage, creative visualization, EFT tapping, encouragement, get back up again, how to handle mistakes, matrix reimprinting, Olympics, Perfectionism, self-love and acceptance, sensitive, what to do when you fall down

Let Go of Perfectionism

March 23, 2017 by Marian Buck-Murray 2 Comments

If you wait for perfect you will never get anything done - words of wisdom on a vintage slate blackboard

According to author Anne Lamott:   Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor.

What does perfectionism do to you?  Does is stop you from putting yourself out there?  Does it stop you from finishing creative projects?  Does it make you feel like you’ll never be good enough?  Does it work you too hard?  Or does it make you want to give up and not even try?

I know all about perfectionism.  Lately, I’ve been recording videos for a couple of multi-media projects…and it’s taken me a lot longer (much) than I expected. One reason, is that when I started, I kept trying to get it perfect.   All of it.  The sound, the shot, my appearance, my vocal intonation, and on and on.  But alas, between the tech issues, and my mistakes, it was far from perfect.  I realized it would never BE perfect.  And, I was driving myself crazy trying.    

So I relaxed.  And I took my own advice.  I began welcoming the glitches.  Learning from each one.  And I enjoyed feeling my creative flow, untethered by the constrictions of perfection.  

Once I relaxed into the imperfection of the process, everything got easier.  I felt more productive, finding solutions that I never would have found if I had stayed in the vicious do-over cycle.  And I finally finished my most important video, and it’s not perfect.  But it’s finished and it’s perfect for me at this time.

So many of my clients tell me how perfectionism is truly the voice of the oppressor, just as Anne Lammott said.

It holds them back, forcing them to hide their work for fear that it’s not perfect.

Makes them do far more work than is necessary

Stresses them out.

Keeps them on edge.

Fills them with resentment when they see others doing what they wish they could do.

Prevents them from enjoying their work.

Keeps them pretending they are who they’re not.

Blocks intimacy

And on and on.  It’s time to let it go.  Here are some suggestions:

Notice what it’s doing to you. Observe yourself within a situation where you’re attempting perfection.  Notice how you feel. Notice what you do to attain ‘perfection’.  Notice what goes wrong when you try.  Observe, and ask yourself if this pursuit of perfection is truly how you want to spend your time and energy.

 Get clear on your personal best possible outcome. Often, we reach for someone else’s vision of perfection.  Certainly, it’s beneficial to learn from others as we improve our skills, however, it can be easy to create unreasonable expectations based on someone else’s results.  When we don’t meet these expectations it can lead us to give up, or put undue pressure on ourselves to perform.  You can always, always, do your best.  Accept your current abilities and do the best with what you have.  Create your vision of your best possible outcome with what you have right now.

Redefine what perfection means to you. Each mistake and misstep has the potential to teach you something new. When you accept your mistakes with compassion, and humor, it opens the door to perfect solutions.  Acceptance leads to relaxation, which makes it easier to get things done. Help yourself see imperfections as perfect for what you need to learn and accept about yourself.

 Notice the beauty within imperfection.  Go examine the design of the wood grain in a hard wood floor.  Observe the bark of the trunk of a big old tree.  Handle a piece of hand-thrown pottery. Notice how beauty unfolds from even from chaos.  Leonard Cohen expressed this beautifully with these words:

Ring the bells that can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in.

Use EFT Tapping. EFT works to help clear perfection’s oppressive shell, and the underlying feelings of stress, anxiety, and self doubt.   I’m currently finalizing the Tap Into Courage Toolkit for Entrepreneurs, Solopreneurs, and Creatives. It’s designed to help clear the most common blocks to success.  One of the modules is all about Perfectionism, since it can be one of the biggest blocks.  If you’d like a free trial of the Perfectionism module once it’s available, contact me.

Truly, letting go of perfectionism is one of the most liberating,  joyful things you can ever do for yourself.

In Blissful Imperfection,

Marian

To apply for a free 30-Minute Unleash Your Creative Genius Call, click here.

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: Acceptance, Anne Lammott, Beauty of Imperfection, EFT tapping, Getting things done, Leonard Cohen, perfection stress, Perfectionism

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Thank you so much for the relevant tapping session this morning. Your presence is warm and lovely and I’m so grateful that I jumped at the chance to experience your work. Calming my critical voice is truly allowing all my other “voices” to come forth with greater ease and authenticity.

 

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Our session was incredible. I’m still in absolute awe at how quickly you led me to the core issues that were tangling me up. So often I would feel the impact of the inner critical voice on my emotions (I’d FEEL depressed, overwhelmed, stuck, anxious)…but I never knew what the core limiting beliefs exactly were. That you exposed them so effortlessly amazes me. I’m blown away by how good I feel – truly it is like I’m breathing deeper, feeling lighter, clearer– an everyday-kind-of joy just feels so much more accessible right now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your work- I can’t wait to continue further with you!

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Wow, I really benefited from my Transform The Critical Voice session with Marian! We were able to take a dark and looming force/voice that was keeping me from “doing my work” and make it much more friendly and welcoming. Just by working through it slowly and thoughtfully, I was able to pull down the darkness to expose the possibilities and the potential I knew was there all along. Since our session, my business and my work feels super bright and colorful, with no more dark forces in my way! Thanks Marian! 

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The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with nature.

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Certified EFT Practitioner

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