How many times have you found yourself halting your dreams midstream? Frustrating, right? I know. I know. If you’re prone to self-sabotage, like I am, things might seem to go awry just before you’re ready to do something bigger and bolder.
It’s tricky and sly, this sabotaging fiend. And sometimes we don’t even know we’re doing it. Coming down with a cold, or getting injured, may seem like an unfortunate coincidence that interrupts your creative flow. But what if it’s not. What if it’s one more way that you’re getting in your own way, and halting your dreams midstream?
Certainly, there are the obvious self-sabotaging habits such as constantly checking your phone when it’s time to work, or watching Netflix instead of writing your blog, or doing the laundry instead of going to that networking meeting you promised to attend. The list is endless.
Self-sabotage shows up everywhere! It includes: procrastination, neglecting your schedule, ‘forgetting’ to respond to emails or phone calls, not speaking up for yourself, not charging enough for your work, and not reaching for bigger opportunities.
Because I’ve caught myself so many times thrashing against the undertow of self-sabotage, I’ve come up with a process to help stop it before it starts.
Here are 4 Steps to Stop Self Sabotage:
Step 1 Clear the Fear.
Plain and simple, we avoid things that feel scary. Get clear about what frightens you about your dreams. Are you scared of rejection? Of failure? Of too much success? Of what other people will think?
First, write down everything that scares you. Next, take your time to focus on one at a time, tuning into the fear that you feel. Sometimes just bringing your fear to light is enough to help it dissipate. Deep breathing, and EFT Tapping will help to reduce the fear.
Step 2 Drop out of Negative Mind Chatter.
Mind chatter is distracting, and will pull you out of focus. When engaged, negative mind chatter can have the power to halt your progress. When you’re feeling down about yourself, it can feel tempting to drop everything and head out for a glass of wine, or a triple mocha latte. The key is to override the negative chatter.
One of my favorite methods to override negative chatter, is using the heart breath. The heart breath is a method of deep breathing in which you imagine you’re breathing through your heart. Your heart’s energy is more powerful than your brain’s, and will help to entrain your brain into a calmer, more productive state. By dropping out of your head, into your heart, you create a sense of overall peace that will help you get back into creative focus.
Step 3 Get Clear.
Often we sabotage ourselves because we’re not clear about what we really want.
It’s hard to feel motivated and productive when we’re working towards goals that aren’t right for us. It may seem like you’re going for your dreams, but maybe there’s something you’re not seeing.
When you feel like you’re getting nowhere, slow down and get clear. Perhaps you can take a different route towards your dream. Perhaps your dream can take on a completely different form, that’s even better. Sometimes we get so stuck in what we think we should do to reach our dreams, that we lose our passion. Passion and clarity is what drives success.
So to get clear, it’s imperative to listen to your heart. You can do this simply by closing your eyes, breathing deeply, and breathing in and out of your heart, as you would for the heart breath. As you’re breathing this way, ask yourself a question about your situation. Ask a question about your next best steps. Allow your heart to answer. Listen to my free training for more tips to get clear.
Step 4 Activate Your Success & Get Into Creative Your Flow
Once you’re feeling calm, clear, and focused, it’s time to take action. Taking small action steps is the best way to increase your motivation to do more. Write down a list of small steps you can take to reach your goals. And start stepping. You will a sense of success and motivation as you complete each step. This feeling will help you go further, and further. Keep adding to your list of actions steps, so you’re consistently activating your success.
Once you’ve got yourself going, it’s time to get into your creative flow. Creative flow happens when you stay with your work. Sometimes we sabotage ourselves by leaving a project when it feels too hard. But, instead of leaving, when we stay with what’s uncomfortable, and allow higher guidance to come through, we are carried through the act of creation.