affirmations | Marian Buck Murray

You Are Enough: How to Cultivate Self-Love

January 28, 2019 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

Without ample self-love, you will never feel good enough, successful enough, beautiful enough, or loveable enough. It truly is that simple. And…if only it were that simple!

Self-love, authentic, non-egoic self-love, can feel tricky. We’re often taught to diminish ourselves, so as not to brag or boast. And, for sensitive people, it can feel especially tricky. Sometimes it feels okay to love and accept everyone, except, of course, ourselves.

But, tricky as it is, self-love is crucial for a genuinely happy, successful life. It’s something I am continually cultivating for myself. Something I’ve finally learned how to do for myself. Something I’ve finally realized is the key to it all.

Here are some ways to cultivate self-love.

You Are Not Your Negative Self-Talk — Get really clear about this. All of your negative self-talk, and limiting beliefs, come from somewhere else. We learn what to say and believe about ourselves from our family, teachers, and friends. We pick it up from the air that we breathe. We see it everywhere we look. And even if seems to be true, that doesn’t make it true. It is societal hearsay, and it’s certainly NOT who you are.

Clear Out the Clouds of Doubt and Negativity — Use techniques, such as EFT Tapping, to clear out the clouds of doubt and negativity. Again, no matter where the negativity comes from, it doesn’t belong in your body and mind. EFT Tapping is a wonderful technique for deactivating old negative feelings and thought patterns. Contact me to learn more.

Forgive Yourself –Without forgiveness, your negative self-beliefs will stay in the dark, pestering you again and again. Punishing yourself for the past helps no one. Make amends as appropriate, then move forward. Try using Ho’oponopono to help yourself let go of self-blame. To use Ho’oponopono, bring to mind something you’re blaming yourself for, hold your hand over your heart, and repeat the words: I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You, I Love You. By repeating this mantra, you will help yourself release negative feelings towards yourself.

Cultivate Self-Loving Habits — Daily habits. Ask yourself, what is the most loving thing I can do for myself? It might be getting up early to meditate. Or carving out daily alone time. Or taking a luxurious bath. Or honoring your needs with a series of wellness sessions. It might mean committing to a new health routine which will benefit your overall well being. Be clear about the difference between loving and ‘improving’ yourself. Each day, ask yourself: “How can I love myself today”, and keep this question fresh throughout your day.

Use Loving Affirmations — Create a collection of affirmations and mantras which will help you increase feelings of self love. Use affirmations such as “I love myself, exactly as I am,” or “I can do it,” or “I am open and receptive to love.” Find what works for you. And, remember, repetition is crucial for success. Repeated affirmations will gradually help your subconscious mind believe what you don’t currently believe about yourself.

Say I Love You To Yourself — Put your hand on your heart, close your eyes, and say: “I love you.” Repeat for 5 minutes. Simple, and powerful.

Meditate on a Love Bubble — Sit quietly, close your eyes, and breathe deeply, from deep down in your belly. As you breathe, deeply and slowly, imagine that you are surrounded by an iridescent bubble. Imagine that this bubble is filled with unconditional love. And that this love is here to soothe you, hold you, and love you. The more you practice this, the more powerful it will become.

Stay with yourself — Even, and especially when the going gets tough. Stay in the moment, instead of avoiding with drink, food, tv, internet, or whatever you use to avoid tough feelings. When you’re going through a tough time, allow yourself to stay with the feelings, loving them as you would love a hurt child. It’s this love and acceptance that will help you transform the darkness.

Even when you waver in and out of self-love, it’s always there for you. Come back to it. Cultivate it. Remember, love is here for you, even in your darkest moments.

In Love and Gratitude,

Marian

Want more self love? Come to YOU ARE ENOUGH, DAILY PRACTICES TO BOOST SELF LOVE, February 24 at the Lotus Lounge Holistic Sanctuary in Morristown NJ. Click here for more info and registration.

11 Ways to Change Negative Beliefs

August 15, 2017 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

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Our beliefs are usually so strong we don’t even question them. There are some that we might even keep for a lifetime. It’s often not until something drastic happens that we choose to change them.

Most persistent beliefs are formed when we are young. We form them as a result of being immersed in the life we’re born into. We receive input from our experiences, and from trusted sources such as parents, caregivers, friends, teachers, culture, religious institutions, and community. Our subconscious mind takes this ongoing input to form the bulk of our beliefs. The younger we are, the stronger the belief.

Back when I first began my training in EFT Tapping, I took a serious look at my beliefs. I was amazed at how many of them were actually holding me back. I had limiting beliefs about love, about success, about health, and about money, of course. One of the most incessant beliefs though, was the belief that I was somehow obligated to please people.

As you might imagine, the persistent belief that I had to please people thrust me into a spin of self-doubt and second-guessing whenever I tried to create something. Just the thought of having to please people slowed me down tremendously. Everything felt so difficult – writing newsletters, creating workshops, promoting my business, sometimes even relating to family and friends.

So, I got to work. And, using all the tools in my toolbox, I began unraveling my old limiting beliefs.

Now, I wouldn’t say that I’ve completely let go of all my limiting beliefs. Nor have I let go of my desire to please people. But I have altered my original belief — enormously. I love offering companionship, services, and products that help people feel good about themselves.

But what I no longer believe, is that I am obligated to please everyone, or even anyone.

I love bringing joy and pleasure to the people in my life. No obligation, no second guessing, no doubt, just the pure intention to bring more good into the world. Once I changed my belief from one of obligation to one of free choice, I felt more inspired, and capable, to bring the love.

As I mentioned, once I started looking, I found a number of beliefs that no longer serve me. I didn’t release them all at once. It takes time, focus, and commitment to change beliefs. I am, as we all are, a work in progress. But, what I’ve found, is that the more I unravel my limiting beliefs, the easier and faster it happens.

Remember, a belief is simply a thought, thought over, and over again.

Here are some techniques that can really help you change your negative beliefs:

Affirmations – Decide what you want to believe and create affirmations that state these beliefs. For example, if you’d like to believe you can be healthy, wealthy, and wise, create affirmations such as: I love my healthy body, or I love being financially successful. Repeat your affirmations for 2-5 minutes each, on a daily basis. Repetition is the key to help you create your new belief.

Look for Evidence – Find examples of people who have overcome obstacles similar to your own. Make a file of positive role models you can refer to in times of need. This will help you become aware of the possibility of a new, positive belief about your situation.

Positive quotes – Find uplifting quotes from inspiring people. Search on the internet for quotes about specific topics such as love, peace, abundance, success, happiness, health, etc. Choose your favorites, and post them around your office or home. By continually seeing and reading the positive messages, you will input them into your subconscious, and gradually, you will begin to believe them.

Inspiring podcasts and audios – There are plenty of inspiring podcasts around. Take a look at what’s available on Itunes and Stitcher. Look for podcasts which inspire you, and listen to interviews and information which will help you see things in a new, positive way. Hayhouse Radio is a great resource for shows which are specifically created to help listeners change limiting beliefs.

Rewrite negative thoughts and beliefs – Write down a few of your most persistent negative thoughts or beliefs. Next, rewrite each to state the opposite. When you notice that you’re thinking a negative thought, or contemplating a negative belief, insert the opposite rewrite into your mind. Repeat the positive rewrite a number of times, to help yourself move away from the negative. Remember, repetition strengthens beliefs. Keep repeating new positive phrases, and you will begin to believe them.

Write a new story – Write a new story for yourself. Write it in the present tense. Describe a scene where you have the personal qualities and experiences you desire. Include desired sensory information, such as scents, colors, feelings, and emotions. Read this story to yourself each day. Stand up as you read it. Change it as desired. Meditate on it. Bring the scene to life in your mind-body, and you will begin to see it happen.

Challenge Assumptions – Don’t assume that just because you believe something is true, that it has to be true for you. Remember — a belief is a thought, which is thought over and over. Our beliefs bring us the evidence of what we believe. Challenge your beliefs by asking: Is this true? Is this true for me? Does this belief help me in my life? Do I want to keep this belief? If you answer no to any of these questions, it’s time to alter your belief in the way that feels best for you.

Be Open to the Possibility of New Belief – Think about all the times you’ve changed your beliefs, or had a belief-altering experience. Allow yourself to open to the possibility that even your strongest beliefs can change. By opening to possibility, you will invite the flow of new information, allowing you to begin to create a new belief.

Meditation – My favorite go-to. Meditation, when done on a consistent basis, allows you to drop beneath the logical ego-mind, into the wisdom of your heart and higher self. It is in this place that you can come to clarity about your beliefs. Sometimes just this deepened awareness is enough to make an enormous shift.

EFT Tapping — EFT Tapping helps to loosen the grip of a belief that no longer serves you. If you are familiar with EFT Tapping, try tapping on the points while thinking and/or talking about a limiting belief. This will help loosen and release associated feelings, and neutralize the belief. If you’re not familiar with EFT Tapping, or if you would like assistance in working on a persistent belief, contact me for more information.

Matrix Reimprinting — Matrix Reimprinting uses EFT Tapping and visualization to help unravel long-standing beliefs. Matrix is very powerful, and helps to unravel a belief at the place it was created. This technique is best done with a professional. Contact me if you’d like to learn more about Matrix Reimprinting.

Choose to believe. Believe in the infinite possibilities all around us. Most of all, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

In Courage,

Marian

Struggling with Self Doubt? Check out my new mini-course, Overcoming Self Doubt.

13 Tips to Release Anxiety

August 7, 2017 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

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So many people I know are dealing with anxiety right now. I’m hearing about it from my clients. From friends and family. And from myself as well!

Anxiety is something I know a lot about. It used to be my constant companion.

But gradually, with the help of numerous mind-body techniques, I was able to let go, nearly completely, of all anxiety. What a miraculous relief!

Lately, though, anxiety has been cropping up for me again. It could be the ever-changing political climate. Could be the numerous disruptions and changes I’ve had to navigate during the last year. Could be a lot of things.

The problem is, I DON’T have time for anxiety! Who does?

Anxiety gets in the way of my work, my dreams, my creativity, my natural optimism, my happiness…my life!

Fortunately, I now have a wealth of tools to clear anxiety, almost immediately. So, unlike years ago, when anxiety was my constant companion, I can now easily release, relax, and let it go. Feels so good!

Here are some of my favorite anxiety-busters:

Deep Breathing – Deep breathing, from the abdomen, stimulates the vagus nerve. When you stimulate the vagus nerve, you stimulate the relaxation response.

Meditation – Meditation allows you to drop into deeper brain frequencies and relaxation. It is an effective way to observe your discomfort from a place of detachment. Connecting with your higher self, while observing anxiety, helps to diminish it. Meditate in silence, or try a guided meditation. If you’re new to meditation, start with 5-10 minutes and gradually increase the time. For a huge variety of free meditations, check out the app: Insight Timer.

Self-Massage – Self-massage is a quick, powerful way to release pent-up anxiety and tension. Give yourself a quick foot massage, a neck and shoulder massage, a hip massage, a lower back massage, an arm and hand massage. Massage wherever you can reach, wherever you feel tense. It’s amazing how powerful just a few moments of self-massage can be!

Tulsi Tea – Mmmm. Tulsi tea is one of my favorites! In fact, as I write this, I’m sipping a cup of Organic India’s Sweet Rose Tulsi. Tulsi tea helps calm jitters, and balance cortisol, the major stress hormone.

Eat Green—Green veggies and green juices contain alkalizing minerals which help ground and calm the nervous system. Find your favorite, easiest way of eating greens, and eat plenty of them. Greens are absolutely essential, especially during times of stress.

Heart Breath – The heart breath will help you drop out of an anxious mind, into the peace of your heart. To use the Heart Breath, first take 3-4 deep breaths, bringing your breath down into your abdomen. Next, bring your breath up into your heart, and imagine that you are breathing in and out of your heart. Deeply, and slowly. Breathe this way for 1-5 minutes (or more!) Notice how it makes you feel.

EFT Tapping – Ahh, EFT Tapping. Again, one of my favorites. (no bias here!) EFT Tapping helps balance and reduce the stress hormone cortisol. It’s a very effective tool for releasing anxiety and panic. The fastest way to use it is to use the fingertips of one hand to tap on the karate chop point of your other hand. The karate chop point is the fleshy part of your hand between your pinky and your wrist. Breathe deeply and slowly as you tap. For more info about all of the tapping points, click here. If you’d like to learn how to use EFT to relieve anxiety, contact me.

Affirmations – I’ve been using affirmations for a while now, and I LOVE them! I’ve created a number of affirmations for a variety of my goals and desires. So, when I’m feeling anxious or worried, I switch to a positive affirmation to counter my worry. Then, I repeat the affirmation over and over. The more I practice this technique, the more immediate the results.

Yoga – Yoga is a fabulous practice to release the tension, anxiety, and fear that gets tapped within the body. If yoga is right for you, find the yoga practice that’s right for you. If you can’t find a class near you, try an online program. Gaia.com has a beautiful selection of yoga teachers and classes.

Gratitude List – Sometimes when we feel anxious, it’s because we feel we’re lacking something we need. Cultivate a daily gratitude practice which helps you acknowledge all the good in your life. This sense of gratitude will help you shift out of anxiety.

Creative Visualization — Similar to an affirmation, a positive visualization will help you feel more optimistic. If you’re new to visualization, start with simple visions, within the realm of possibility.

First, decide what you’d like to see. What would improve your situation? Next, close your eyes, breathe deeply, and bring your vision to mind. Allow the vision to appear in whatever way is best for you. Don’t force it. By allowing yourself to step into a new, better-feeling, possibility, you’ll help yourself feel better, and you’ll show your subconscious mind what to create for you.

Brain Wave Entrainment: Brainwave entrainment uses pulsing sounds, lights, or electromagnetic fields to stimulate the brain to fall into deeper, more peaceful, brainwave frequencies. This is a very effective technique, and numerous products are available online, and as MP3 downloads. Because these products are powerful, it’s important to purchase them from a trusted source, and to do your own research on the effects of brain wave entrainment.

Some of my favorite sources include:

The Monoe Institute at: https://www.monroeinstitute.org,

Jeffrey Gignac at: https://jeffreygignac.com/,

and Binaural Beats Meditation at: https://www.binauralbeatsmeditation.com.

Let go of Caffeine – Last, and certainly not least, let go of Caffeine! Limit or omit it. Caffeine stimulates the adrenal glands, and therefore your stress hormones. If you need an energy boost, try a green drink, or a glass of water with lemon.

Life’s too precious to waste it on anxiety!

In Courage,

Marian

To Apply for a FREE 30-Minute Unleash Your Courage Call, click here.

22 Tips to Boost Your Courage

July 21, 2017 by Marian Buck-Murray 1 Comment

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Got Courage? For me, courage is essential for everything from growing my business to living my life in a more authentic, joyful, loving, way.

A few months ago I taught a workshop called the Courage Experiment. My goal was to experiment with different courage boosting techniques, and share them with others. Here are 22 techniques I’ve found to be most helpful. Experiment, and discover what works for you. Enjoy!

Seek Courageous Role Models – Look around at the people in your life, in the media, in books, and in history. Who are your courageous role models? Learn about the ways in which they use their courage. Adopt strategies that appeal to you.

Collect Courage Quotes — Use the internet to find quotes about courage. Collect quotes that really speak to you. Print some out, and post them where you’ll see them.

Embrace Your Fear – Feel your fear. Practice sending compassion and understanding to yourself in your moments of fear. Sometimes just pausing with this intention is enough to release fear.

Admit to your Fears with a Friend – Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to admit we’re afraid. Fear loves to hide in secrecy. Sharing your fears with an understanding friend or counselor will usually help dispel some of the fear.

Don’t Engage the Drama– By-pass worst-case scenarios. We never know what’s going to happen, so why imagine the scariest possibilities? Fear feeds on drama, and will multiply the more we engage. Practice stepping away from the drama, and imagining better-feeling scenarios.

Avoid unnecessary hesitation – The more you hesitate, the more your mind will interfere to tell you all the reasons why you should fret, worry, and not take that courageous action step you planned to take.

Commit Yourself in Advance – Schedule your courageous acts ahead of time. Then, show up.

Do it with a friend – Practice with a friend. Celebrate together as you take courageous action steps.

Start Small – It can be hard to find courage to do something that feels big and scary. Instead, take a good look at the big and scary goal, and then break it down into smaller, friendlier steps.

Enter a state of non-resistance. – Courage can be tough to muster when we’re dreading doing something. Practice letting go of resistance, and being present with whatever happens along your way.

Tap into your BIG WHY – Why do you want to use your courage? Get clear about your true, authentic intentions. When we feel really inspired and motivated, sometimes we’ll do just about anything to get what we want.

Visualize Best Outcomes – Visualization is a very powerful technique to help us imagine our best outcomes. By visualizing what you want, you will activate your reticular activator to help you begin to see evidence of what you’re visualizing. By allowing yourself to feel the energy of your imagined scene, you can boost both your enthusiasm and your courage.

Do Things that Others Don’t. – Practice following the beat of your own drum. The more comfortable you are doing your own thing, the more courage you will have to do anything.

Turn Obstacles and Failures into Assets – It’s easy to use obstacles and failures as excuses to forgo our courage. By turning obstacles and failures into opportunities to learn and grow, we can bypass fear, and move forward with courage. This fortifies our courage to continue, despite obstacles or failures along our way.

Expand Your Knowledge – Many times we’re scared of what we don’t know or understand. By increasing your knowledge about a particular area, you will increase your confidence and courage to explore areas you might previously have avoided.

Incremental Exposure – Little by little, expose yourself to the thing that you fear.

Imagine How You’ll Feel after You Do It. Imagining how good you’ll feel once you take action will boost your enthusiasm and your courage.

Exercise – Any form of exercise will help release pent-up stress and anxiety. In addition, you will strengthen your sense of confidence as you follow through with regular exercise. Confidence nourishes courage.

Meditation – Meditation will help you feel centered, grounded, and relaxed. When you come from a place of centered calm, courage is much easier to access.

Affirmations – Affirmations, when frequently repeated, will assist your subconscious mind in helping you feel more courageous. Create a few short, easy-to-say, affirmations. For example: “I love feeling courageous.” Or “My courage brings success.” Repeat throughout your day, and/or for 2-5 minutes at a time. Remember — repetition increases the power of an affirmation.

Heart Breath – The heart breath will help you drop out of a worried, stressed mind, into the peace and wisdom of your heart. To do the heart breath, close your eyes and take a few long deep breaths. Next, continue to breathe deeply while imagining you are breathing in and out of your heart. Continue to breathe this way for 1-5 minutes.

EFT Tapping – EFT Tapping, tapping on specific acupressure points on the face, torso, and hand, helps to reduce cortisol, the major stress hormone. Calming your nervous system is an important first step in cultivating courage. Contact me at marian@marianbuckmurray.com if you’d like to learn more about EFT Tapping.

Our Beautiful World Needs YOUR Courage!

In Courage,

Marian

It’s Time to Feel GOOD!

July 13, 2017 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

With so much disconcerting news lately, it can feel impossible to get away from it all. And, it’s oh, so easy, to get sucked in and pulled down along with it. When I get dragged into the unrelenting muck it often triggers a jumble of feelings — ranging from irritability and anger to sadness, and fear. If I allow it, it can be truly paralyzing!

When I’m triggered with unwanted feelings, it’s hard to get anything done — especially anything creative. Fortunately, I’ve tried and tested a number of very effective techniques that help me feel better — quickly.

I’ve always been all about feeling good. I thrive on feeling good and I thrive on finding ways to feel good when I don’t. And, I’m passionate about helping my clients feel great!

For me, feeling good is absolutely crucial in order to do the work I do.

Here are some of my all-time favorite mood-boosting techniques. Remember — the subconscious mind, and the body, need to be continually nourished with positive input in order for you to feel your best.

Use Affirmations – Write down 3-5 feel-good affirmations that you can say to yourself throughout the day. For example: “I am successful.” “I love the work I do.” “I feel energetic and alive.” Repeat these affirmations often. Repetition will help imprint the affirmations into your subconscious, helping them become automatic beliefs.

Acknowledge Yourself — Create a list of 25-50 of your accomplishments and personal qualities that you feel good about. Keep this list handy. Refer to it on a regular basis, to remind yourself of all of the good within you.

Do Something Nice – Surprise someone with a kind gesture or gift. Send a thank you note to a friend, client, colleague, or family member. Offer to do something challenging for someone. Volunteer your services. Delight in the pleasure of helping someone else feel good.

Dance to a happy song – Create a playlist of happy songs. Take a break and dance (and/or sing) to one or all of them. Keep them handy for regular use.

Read Uplifting News – Some good sites include: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/, http://www.dailygood.org/, and https://www.positive.news/

Read Uplifting Quotes – There are a number of websites that specialize in a variety of quotes. Search for uplifting, positive, inspiring quotes. Keep a list of your favorites. Post them where you will see them.

Write a Gratitude List – Write a gratitude list, daily. As you write your list, tap into the feeling of gratitude. Gratitude is a very uplifting feeling, and will help you lift your spirits, and raise your vibration.

Meditate – My indispensable go-to. Meditation works. The act of sitting in stillness helps to clear and center the mind. Starting the day with meditation helps to keep the day centered, no matter what’s going on.

Nourish Your Body — A nourishing diet is absolutely crucial for optimal energy and mood. For best results, eat plenty of alkalizing green vegetables, colorful fruits and veggies, good fats, fiber-rich whole grains, lean proteins, and probiotics. Drink plenty of water, and minimize caffeine and alcohol.

Move Your Body — Moving your body will help you release built up tension. Do some quick yoga. Take a Nature walk. Get up and stretch. Dance. Go to the gym. Work out to a video. Enjoy!

Use EFT Tapping –– EFT Tapping is one of the most effective techniques for reducing the stress hormone cortisol. Just using your fingertips to tap on your Karate Chop, while breathing deeply, is enough to promote a sense of relaxation. Click here for an illustrated description of the EFT Tapping Points.

Feel Good!

Marian

Contact me to find out how EFT Tapping and Matrix Reimprinting can help you feel your best!