Many of my clients talk about feeling fatigued and overwhelmed by all that is happening with the people in their lives and in the world. It definitely makes a lot of sense. And, it’s certainly important to do what we can for those in need — our world needs more of it. However, when boundaries are loose, or non-existent, empathy and compassion for others can easily morph into a belief of being responsible for their well-being.
I am not suggesting we ignore the well-being of others. Rather, I am suggesting that the belief that we’re responsible for another’s well-being is what contributes to fatigue and overwhelm. This belief pushes us to over-give, overextend, micromanage, self-censor, worry, and more. It can easily leave us feeling completely drained. When we’re completely drained, it’s impossible, to participate in our lives at our highest potential.
It takes a great deal of energy to take responsibility for another person. It takes more even more energy to worry about that person. Add to that the worry for people and creatures around the world, and energy depletion is guaranteed.
I understand, that for many of us, especially sensitive people, it usually doesn’t feel like a choice. It can feel as though if we don’t take responsibility, no one will. Most often, there are life circumstances which have led to these conclusions. Because it’s a repetitive pattern, it feels natural, no matter how uncomfortable. In fact, it typically feels like the ‘right’ or most compassionate thing to do.
So how do we stay compassionate and caring, without depleting energy? How do we take a step back to spend more time tending to our own needs? It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely possible. And the rewards are truly worth it.
Here are some of the mindset shifts and tools that are working for me, and for my clients:
Let Go of Feeling Responsible — We need to always remember that each person is ultimately responsible for their own well-being. It can be a tricky dance, but the more we’re able to let go of feeling responsible for another’s well-being, the better.
It’s a balance that we need to find. There’s nothing wrong with giving, and helping, and extending ourselves — but letting go of feeling responsible is necessary. When we feel less burdened by responsibility, we’re able to come from a more genuine, loving place. This enables us to be truly compassionate, rather than overburdened or resentful.
Certainly, there are those for whom we need to take some or more responsibility, including young children, disabled loved ones, and elderly loved ones. But even here, there are limits. Allowing for another’s independence, inner-wisdom, and true nature is paramount.
Stop Trying to Control What You Cannot Control — No matter how distressing, we can’t control what happens in the world. We can’t control what people believe, or how they react or feel. The same is true for much of what happens with our families, and friends. Sometimes, we can’t even control what happens to us. By wanting, imagining, or exerting control over what’s impossible to control, we deplete essential energy. It’s when we let go of trying to control that we reclaim this energy. When we reclaim our energy, it’s much easier to manage our responses to our current circumstances.
When Triggered, Pause and Look Within — When you find yourself triggered, or are afraid of triggering another, it’s time to pause and look within. Ask yourself what you are trying to stop from happening. What are you trying to make happen? What emotions or reactions are you trying to avoid, either in yourself or another?
Pausing to check in with yourself will help you bring your energy back. This in itself will help de-escalate the trigger. By checking in, you can focus on your emotions and needs. This will enable you to do what’s necessary for your own well-being. This might mean taking a break, doing a meditation, journaling, or reaching out to a healing professional. All of this will help you call back your energy.
Spend Time Alone – Spend time alone, whether it’s a 15 minute break, a soothing bath, or a walk in nature. This will help you let go of external influences, and regroup your energy.
Meditate — The more you’re able to meditate, the more you will realize that there’s a whole world within, beyond the noise outside. Maintaining a consistent meditation practice will help you reduce stress, and focus your attention on what’s important to you. Meditation is a perfect way to call back your energy.
Tap — EFT Tapping will help you calm your nervous system, and release emotions that keep you on edge. By physically tapping on acupressure points, you automatically begin to focus your energy back to your body and mind. EFT can also assist you in resolving issues that keep you stuck in energy-depleting patterns. Click here to learn more about EFT Tapping.
Practice the Heart Breath — The Heart Breath is a beautiful way to drop out of a worried, distracted, mind, into the power of your heart. This breath can be incredibly relaxing, and energizing. An overactive, worried mind depletes an enormous amount of energy. By using the heart breath, you can call back your energy, and harness the power of your heart. To learn how to use the heart breath, contact me. To access my Heart Breath Audio Meditation, find me on Insight Timer, or enter your email in the Heart Breath box to the right of this post.
Here’s to more energy!
To experience the power of EFT Tapping and Matrix Reimprinting to call back your energy, contact me.