embrace your shadow side | Marian Buck Murray

Unity, such a beautiful word. During these times of deep division, many of us have been calling for it. But, let’s face it, it can be hard to find common ground with those we call our enemies. At a time when it might feel easy to dehumanize, condemn, or ‘cancel’ those whom we judge, why on Earth would we want unity?

It’s all very understandable — this ‘us and them’ mentality. Yet, our lack of unity leaves us polarized. And it’s difficult, if not impossible, to move forward when we’re feeling polarized.

Now I’m not suggesting that we befriend or agree with everyone. Rather, what I am suggesting is that we seize this moment to befriend those parts of ourselves which we’ve condemned, hidden, neglected, and judged. It’s when we make peace with ourselves that we find it easier to find peace with others.

We all live with some degree of inner polarization. It shows up as that struggle to accept ourselves just as we are. That habit of hiding who we really are. The masks we wear to please and impress. The lies we tell to save face.

However, it’s when we reintegrate the shadowy places within us, that we find profound inner peace.

Sometimes we’re so afraid of our shadows, we’ll do everything possible to get away from them. But, alas, we can’t outrun our shadows. Avoidance won’t make them disappear. In fact, they usually come back even stronger, popping into our lives when we least expect it. As long as we’re driven to avoid our shadows, they will continue to sabotage our lives.

It’s when we turn to embrace our shadows, that they help us transform our lives.

During times of stress, it’s easy to fall back into our shadow patterns. Those habits, behaviors, and moods, we’d rather not admit to. So, what if, instead of judging ourselves, we pause to notice what’s happening. As painful as it might feel, our shadows are calling for healing. When we move into acceptance, we can take a deeper dive to see what’s hiding beneath the surface.

So, how do we embrace what we don’t want to embrace? How do we feel compassion for a part ourselves that we truly dislike?

A good start is to approach our shadows as we would a scared child. When we approach ourselves with gentleness, compassion, and non-judgement, we can listen on a deeper level. This simple act of compassion helps illuminate what’s truly needed to feel better, happier, and empowered to transform our lives.

It takes time, and commitment to work with our shadows. But it’s worth it. EFT Tapping and Matrix Reimprinting are particularly helpful tools in shadow work. Contact me to learn more.

Peace,

Marian

Interested in shadow work? Learn more about my new Shadow Love Programs.

So often, especially for sensitive people, our personal shadow side is difficult to acknowledge. It’s as if acknowledging the shadow will somehow negate the good we’re doing in the world. Or perhaps the sheer presence of a shadow means we haven’t done enough ‘work’ on ourselves. Or that we’re not spiritual enough. Or, worse, that there’s something permanently wrong with us.

Yes. Our shadows are tough to explore. They’re designed to be tough. Tough enough to keep us away from those unwanted parts of ourselves, banished so long ago. Sometimes we don’t even know they’re there.

The problem with shadows, though, is that they never truly stay hidden. They creep into our behavior, our reactions, our moods, and our personalities. Sometimes they scream at us. And they always push us out of alignment. They will continue to push us out of alignment, until we begin to take notice. Until we embrace them. Simply put, until we befriend our shadows, we will never be able to find true fulfillment.

If you’re new to shadow work, here is a brief description of a few common types of shadows.

3 common types of shadows:

Dark Shadows: These include mistakes, wrong-doings, and traumatic events. This is where we harbor shame. We typically spend inordinate amounts of energy trying to hide, deny and avoid these dark shadows. Neglected, they can lead to all sorts of negative, and even harmful, behavior towards ourselves and others.

Unacknowledged Gifts: Here we find our natural strengths and talents which have been pushed into the shadows. This usually happens during youth, as a result of some form of rejection. They can get triggered by someone else’s success, along with resentment, anger, or jealousy. These shadows can lead to all sorts of self sabotage from unfulfilling jobs, to procrastination, to overall stagnation.

Light Shadows: These shadows can stem from an inner belief that we’re not good, lovable, or valuable enough. Often these shadows include an unresolved need to be loved, or validated. They can lead to overly-friendly, overly-giving, and overly-responsible behaviors.

An effective way of approaching any of our shadows is with forgiveness, compassion, and love. Woven into our shadows are layers of pain and suffering, yearning to be healed. EFT Tapping, meditation, therapy, journaling, prayer, and deep self-care routines, are all helpful methods to assist you as you work with your shadows.

Remember, shadow work takes consistency, patience, compassion, love, and help from others. It’s worth it. It’s an experience that will truly transform your life.

Reach out to me if you’d like to learn how to use EFT Tapping to work with your shadows.

With Love,

Marian

Shadow Love — A Call For Unity within Ourselves

Befriend Your Shadow