Internal Family Systems, or IFS, is a therapeutic modality developed by Richard C. Schwartz. Schwartz drew upon his work as a family therapist to create a system which recognizes that each person has parts which form an inner family. When this inner family is off-balance, or polarized, we suffer. By embracing our parts, we bring our systems back into harmony, and empower ourselves to be the people we are meant to be.
Our Parts
Though it may seem weird, we all have parts. We have parts that want one thing, and others that want something different. We have timid parts and brave parts. Parts who criticize us and parts who encourage us. Some who dominate, and some who tiptoe around. All parts are here to protect us, as Richard Schwartz points out in his book No Bad Parts.
Three types of parts we all have:
Managers. Manager parts help us organize our lives in order to protect us from uncomfortable emotions such as fear, shame, anger, and more. For example, a manager might be that part of you who urges you to avoid situations which could trigger feelings of rejection or loneliness.
Firefighters. Firefighters do their best to shut down uncomfortable feelings when they are triggered. These parts help soothe, and numb, unwanted emotions. Typically, a firefighter is the creator of the unhealthy habits we don’t like to admit to.
Exiles. Exiles are the parts of ourselves which we hide, and push into exile. These younger parts hold the ‘burdens’ of painful events and beliefs. With IFS we help unburden these exiles and the parts who protect them.
Although their tactics don’t always feel helpful, both managers and firefighters work hard to protect our exiles.
Self Energy
In addition to our parts, we all have what in IFS is referred to as Self. Self can be seen as True Self, Higher Self, True Essence, etc. Self is the place within us which is able to feel compassion, courage, confidence, calm, and more. With Self Energy, we are able to unburden our parts, and create inner-peace and harmony. I can assist you in accessing your own Self Energy.
Self witnesses our parts, has compassion for our parts, and knows that we are not our parts.
What to expect during an IFS session.
Identifying parts. First, we will identify some parts which might be showing up in your life right now. It could be a firefighter who urges you to have another cookie, glass of wine, or zone out with Netflix. It might be a manager who never ceases to criticize you and who pushes you to be perfect. Or perhaps it’s a lonely exile who is sick and tired of staying hidden.
Understanding your parts. Once we’ve identified the parts you’d like to explore, we will go deeper to learn more about these parts. Bringing compassionate, non-judgemental attention to your parts will foster a sense of safety. This safety will allow your parts to soften so they can give you the information necessary for deep understanding. It’s when our parts feel heard and seen, that they are most likely to transform.
Bringing Parts into Harmony. With the help of Self Energy, we will work together to assist your inner parts to let go of painful burdens and beliefs. This unburdening helps create a sense of harmony and relief. Because all parts strive to protect you, parts which previously felt polarized often end up working together, for more beneficial results.
With IFS you can embrace your parts and give them what they need in order to heal.