Marian Buck Murray

Release, Relax, Tap into Your Brilliance. EFT Tapping to help you unleash your creative genius.

Make Friends with Fear

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Halloween — a month-long celebration of spooks.  The kids on my street decorate early, with skeletons lazing in front yards, spiders poking out from curbside gardens, dangerous looking pumpkins standing guard on front porches.  Neighboring streets have spooky graveyards, inflated black cats,  sound machines, you name it.  All in fun…and of course the prospect of trick-or-treating always helps to soothe fearful feelings.  

Why then, can it feel so hard to celebrate the fears that arise daily? The fears that stop us in our tracks.  The fears that keep us small? 

How do we actually make friends with fear? The answers, fortunately, are numerous:   Feel it.  Sit with it.  Understand it.  Stay with it.  Heal it.

Here are some steps to help fear feel more friendly:

Understand it. The more you sit with your fear, the more you’ll be able to see underneath it.  Often our fears stem from a younger place within us.  A time when we were scared, perhaps with no one to help us.  The longer you observe your fear, the more information you will receive to help it heal.

Bring compassion. Compassion for your fear is crucial.  Rather than making your fear ‘wrong’, approach it with a sense of compassion.  Imagine a child who feels afraid.  How would you respond to this child?  With a hug? Reassurance? Love?

Ask yourself what you need in this moment to feel more courageous. Do you need some friendly encouragement?  Assistance or guidance of some sort?  Do you need more information?  When you know what you need, take action to give yourself what you need.

Recognize fear as a friend who wants to keep you safe. Fear is a natural aspect of your biological fight/flight/freeze response.  Although your fear might feel inappropriate for the scope of your circumstances, it is triggered by the part of the brain tasked with keeping you safe.  Often, this response has been conditioned by previous experiences.  Accepting this will make it easier for you to add space between you and your fear, recognizing that it stems from a conditioned, habitual response, not an actual danger. 

Relate to your fear in the moment. Most times our fears are related to past experiences, or future worries.  Getting clear with fear in the moment will help you become more centered.  Rather than being consumed by a scary mind-story — get present and real with your fear.  With practice, you’ll begin to see fear as a feeling, and nothing more.  Remember:  If the fear is true fear, warning you of true danger, you’ll respond most effectively grounded in the present moment.

Meditate. Consistent, daily meditation helps your brain become more effective during times of stress.  It helps facilitate easier access to the relaxation response.  It helps you disentangle from the emotions that seem to control you.  If you’re new to meditation, start with short periods of time.  Even 5 minutes. Gradually build your endurance so that you can sit for longer and longer amounts of time.  Remember, it’s okay that you don’t feel ‘bliss’ right away.  Sitting with your fear, will help it begin to dissipate.  It’s this patience observance of your feelings that helps them transform.

Use EFT Tapping.  EFT Tapping helps neutralize fear, and other painful emotions.   EFT has been clinically proven to reduce cortisol, the major stress hormone, which is elevated during times of fear.  By reducing cortisol, you turn on the relaxation response, allowing your nervous system to relax.  For a video on how to use EFT tapping, click here.

The bottom line:  Making friends with your fear might just be one of the greatest gifts you’ll ever give yourself!

In Courage,

Marian

Need help with fear and anxiety?  Contact me.

Butterfly Wings

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I came across this butterfly the other day as I walked in the wildflower garden in my local Reservation.  She was on the ground, flapping her wings, not going very far.  Above her, beckoning, were the wildflowers she had come for.  But there she was, stuck in the dirt.  At first glance I thought she was dying.  At second glance I realized she was showing me exactly what I needed to know.

We are all butterflies in some stage of development.

While some of us are soaring high, many of us are cocooning, or struggling to fly.  Like the butterfly in the garden, we often struggle on the ground, moving in circles, never enjoying full flight.  Our wings, heavy with judgement, feel unable to lift us into the garden where we belong.  Sometimes we’re so burdened with self-doubt that we can’t even budge our wings. 

So, to that beautiful butterfly, I sent my love and deep appreciation for her being on my path that day.  And though she continued to struggle, I held my vision of her well-deserved flight. 

Within moments, just as I was about to move on along my path, the butterfly fluttered up into the garden, alighting on a nourishing blossom.  Satisfied, and happy, I continued my walk and I immersed myself in the fragrant flowers, and the sounds of bees and crickets. 

A while later I found myself back in the spot where I had seen the butterfly.  She was gone.  Though I looked for her in the flowers, on the ground, in the grasses at the edge of the path – I couldn’t find her anywhere. I began to wonder if she had fallen to the ground and staggered off to die. 

So, in that moment, I asked for my higher power to show me the butterfly, or show me it was time to leave.  I looked one more time,  didn’t see her, and  I turned to go. 

And there, right as I turned to go, was the butterfly — flying high amongst the flowers.

Its when we surrender to the power of love, grace, and invisible sources of assistance, that we’re able to embody the power of our wings.  Lifting off of the ground, we fly, reaching higher and higher, until we’re able to see that the garden was here all along.

Peace,

Marian

If you need help lifting your butterfly wings, contact me.

 

 

Stay With Yourself — Be Here Now

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I just got back from a beautiful week at the Omega Institute, assisting Dawson Church with the EFT Practitioner Training program.  Throughout the week, we helped participants transform limiting feelings and beliefs with both EFT Tapping and meditation.  It was a transformative, and in many ways miraculous, week for us all.

What became so clear to me (once again), is the importance of accepting all feelings, no matter how uncomfortable.  It’s in the acceptance of these feelings, that we are able to transform our experience.

In this world of ours, so often it’s the striving that takes front seat. How, for example, will we succeed if we don’t strive for more?  And more? And more? And so often, once we get ‘more’, we don’t feel the success we imagined.

The problem with striving is that we’re frequently propelled by a feeling that we’re not enough, or complete, without whatever it is we’re striving for.  You know the refrain:  I’ll be happy when___________. 

The underlying feeling of inadequacy will follow us, until we find a way to stay with it long enough to transform it.

To stay with yourself, to be here now, means to be present with whatever is going on.  Not off in the future, hoping for something better.  Not back in the past, wishing things were different.  Here now, whether it’s comfortable, or not.

It’s when we avoid the now-moment that we lose power.  That we abandon ourselves.  Unfortunately, by avoiding our feelings with substances and experiences, we will never feel better about ourselves.

True transformation happens when we accept ourselves exactly as we are, exactly where we are, right now.

Easy to say, and usually, not so easy to do.  Yet, it gets easier once you begin to realize how truly powerful you are.

Next time you find yourself avoiding, whether it’s with food, internet, tv, shopping, alcohol, or any other type of escape, ask yourself what you’re avoiding. Be gentle with yourself.  Pause and notice what you’re feeling.  If you can, stay with yourself.

Stay with yourself, through thick and thin.  Stay at the time when you need yourself the most.  Stay to reveal the truth of who you are.

Ideas to help you stay:

  1. Sit, close your eyes, and notice what you feel.  Don’t push anything away.  Just sit.  Don’t worry if you don’t feel peaceful or enlightened.  Just sit and notice.  Stay with any discomfort.

  2. Breathe deeply, from your belly, and notice the flow of your breath. Notice the beat of your heart. Notice this power within you. Know that this power is always with you.

  3. Send love and compassion to any discomfort you feel. Any and all discomfort is worthy of your love and compassion.  If you can’t summon feelings of love and compassion, that’s okay too.  Stay with what you are feeling. Notice any insights that arise.

  4. Use EFT Tapping to tap on your feelings. Accept them, and if they’re ready, allow them to release. For information on how to use EFT Tapping, click here.

  5. Connect with your higher consciousness.  Use meditation to tune into your higher consciousness. Ask it to help you during challenging times.  This added assistance will help you tune into solutions, and relief,  you didn’t see before.

For most of us, it’s not possible to stay present at all times.  Escapes can be pleasurable and sometimes necessary.  And, we can choose to stay present with any escape.  However, when escapes turn into chronic avoidance, we will always experience more pain.  We can’t maintain the bliss of the escape, so we fall into a funk, or look for new ways to escape.

The key to all of this is to stay.  Stay with the discomfort, with love and acceptance, so that it can begin to transform. By being here now, we find the true bliss of a clear mind and soul, as we open to the gifts of the universe.

Peace,

Marian

Do you need help transforming your discomfort? contact me.

10 Ways to Raise Your Vibration

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What does it mean to raise your vibration? It means, simply, to improve the way you feel.  To shift from a negative state to something that feels more positive. To change your thoughts from weakening worry to empowering gratitude. To express love and kindness instead of anger or judgement.  When we feel good, we radiate goodness.  And right now we need a whole lotta goodness in this world!

Here are some suggestions.  Find what works for you. Practice daily. 

And remember, any time you feel even a little happier, better, lighter, or more peaceful, you are raising your vibration.

  1.  Smile. Smile in the mirror.  Smile at people.  Smile at animals. Smile at people in the store. Smile as you read something inspiring.  Smile because you’re you.  Smile right now. Smiling tells your brain to release feel-good neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine.

  2. Journal. Journaling will help you release whatever is nagging at your mind.  Release it and let it go.  No need to re-read.

  3. Commit Acts of Kindness. Practice kindness. Open doors for people.  Let people go ahead of you in traffic.  Do something nice for an elderly neighbor.  Call or text a friend to tell them how much you appreciate them.  Acts of kindness don’t have to be enormous.  When done spontaneously they bring joy to both you and to your recipient.

  4. Clear and Cleanse. Use tools such as dry brushing, shower, salt bath, sauna, and sound bath to help you detoxify.  By releasing toxic stagnancy, you will naturally raise your vibration.

  5. Chant. Chanting a yogic, or Sanskrit mantra, repetitively, will help boost brain function, and reduce stress and anxiety. These mantras are designed tune your system to a higher vibration. Choose a mantra that appeals to you, and chant it for 108 times daily for maximum benefit.

  6. Move. Movement moves stagnant energy.  Exercise. Dance.  Do yoga. Take a walk in Nature, where you’ll get bonus points from all the high-vibe negative ions.  Any time we release stagnant energy, we feel better.  The better you feel, the higher your vibration.

  7. Meditate. Meditation helps you tune into Divinity within you. It can also assist you in receiving guidance from invisible (or visible) sources.  Meditation helps you tune into the higher vibrations of love, peace, and gratitude.

  8. Use EFT Tapping. EFT Tapping will help release unwanted ‘negative’ emotions that pull down your vibration. Sometimes we’re not even aware that we have underlying low feelings such as shame, anger, or self-doubt.  EFT can help us pinpoint and release these feelings, so we can raise our vibration.  To learn how to use EFT Tapping, click here.

  9. Practice the Heart Breath. The Heart Breath is a beautiful way to bring yourself into heart energy, the energy of unconditional love. Unconditional Love radiates at a very high vibration.  To learn how to use the Heart Breath, click here.

  10. Express Gratitude. Gratitude is a powerful way to help us shift from a place of lack and scarcity.  By appreciating even the smallest things in our lives, we fill ourselves with sweet gratitude, and a feeling that all is well.

Best Wishes for Your Highest Vibes Ever!

Marian

Contact me for a complimentary 30-minute call where I’ll help you pinpoint the best ways to embrace, care for, and celebrate your sensitivity.

 

Your True Value

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Recently I went to the store to buy a large pad of paper.  My collage teacher had told me that I needed larger paper to allow for ample white space for my ongoing collage work.  She says the white space will give my collages the value, and respect, they deserve.

So, thinking I knew exactly what I needed, I eagerly went off to my favorite art store.  Once there, however, I realized I hadn’t checked the dimensions of the paper I had been using.  I couldn’t seem to find a pad which looked like the next size larger.  So, I purchased a pad which was obviously larger, even though it seemed too big.

Once home, I immediately realized the paper was far too big.  Knowing I needed the dimensions of the original pad, I peeked inside the bag where I store my collage materials.  And, there, in plain sight, were the dimensions printed on the lower corner of pad’s cover.

If only I had taken one extra second to check in ….

So, feeling eager, dimensions in hand,  I set out the next day to purchase the ‘right’ pad of paper.  This time I found a pad which seemed to be the proper size. Strangely, though, something didn’t seem quite right.  I couldn’t put my finger on it.  So, I purchased the pad, and went home, excited to finally have what I needed.  Or so I thought…

You guessed it.  Once home, to my great chagrin, and embarrassment, I realized I had AGAIN purchased the wrong paper.

This time, though, as I pulled the original pad from its storage bag, I realized my mistake. Instead of 140-pound paper (which I had purchased the first time around) I had twice purchased paper that was only 98 pounds.  I purchased Mixed Media paper instead of Watercolor.  The wrong value, wrong quality, for the work I was creating.

UGH!!!

Feeling so disappointed in myself, I knew I needed to shift out of my foul mood.  I also knew that my inner critic was running wild and needed some loving attention.

So I meditated.  And during my meditation,  I hugged my inner critic with love and compassion.

I saw that in my eagerness, my playful glee, I had gone to the store without taking time to see what I truly needed.  In other words, I had forgotten to check in.  A common error, and one I could forgive.

What I saw next was even more important.  In forgiving myself, I saw what I had truly missed. I had missed the original value, or weight, of the paper. 

So, I went for the bigger, cheaper versions,  neither of which worked.

And, isn’t that what we’re always doing?  Forgetting our value, and looking outside of ourselves for bigger, cheaper versions of ourselves? Versions that will never align with who we truly are?

The facades we wear.  The secrets we keep to avoid exposure.  The criticisms we take to heart.  After a while, we forget who we are.  We forget how valuable we are.  And the more we forget, the farther away we go.

Two pads of paper.  Both wrong, because I failed to check in to see what was right for me.  Wrong because I hadn’t appreciated the value of the original pad.

The white space surrounding my collage helps me see it’s true value.  Stepping out of our busy minds, checking in with ourselves, helps us create the space to see our own.

If you need to  get in touch with your true value, contact me.  I can help.

Peaceful Blessings,

Marian