Marian Buck Murray

EFT and Matrix Reimprinting for Sensitive, Empathic, Creative People. Step out of the shadows and share your gifts and talents.

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Move Forward — Even When Your Nay-Saying Inner-Critic Tries to Stop You.

October 1, 2013 by Marian Buck-Murray 4 Comments

Let’s just say you’d like to step out in a new way.  Maybe it’s a new job.  A creative adventure.  A new relationship.  A public performance…..

But just as you start to imagine your new goal —  your nay-saying-inner-critic steps in to stop you.

From years of working with my private clients, I’ve come to realize that most of us (myself included) share some of the same negative inner-criticisms.  It’s what stops us from enjoying the success we desire. It’s what makes us give up, when we’re so close to success.  And it’s why I’m determined to do my part to help tame the inner critic — I know first-hand the damage it can create.

We all have an inner critic.  Unfortunately, when we believe the inner critic, we allow it to hold us back from our dreams.

Here are 5 common self-beliefs, reinforced by the nagging, nay-saying inner critic:

  1.  I’ll never do it.  —   Quite simply, if you believe this, you probably never will reach your goal.  This stifling belief is enough to make you give up before you even start.  You might believe that even though it’s possible for others, it’s impossible for you.
  2. I’m not good enough  —  This common,  poisonous  belief will zap your sense of self-worth.  When you struggle with feelings of low self-worth,  it feels easier to hold back, even when you are fully qualified.
  3. I’ll mess it up —  Thoughts of failure can make any challenge seem daunting.  When the possibility of failure looms large, moving forward can feel scary — even dangerous.
  4. It’s too good to be true.   Sometimes success can feel too good.  It can stir up worries that something will go wrong. Denying yourself success is one way to prevent future disappointments.
  5. They won’t like it (me).  Stepping out in a new way can feel especially threatening if you’re worried about reactions from family, friends, and the public.  If you continually tell yourself that they won’t like it, you might never try.  Or, you might spend eternity striving for elusive perfection.

No question —  the inner-critic gets in our way — disrupting and interrupting our progress.  

Fortunately, there are some very effective techniques to quiet and  the critical voice.   Here are a few that work well  for me, and for my clients.  Regular practice with any or all of the following techniques will help you feel more confident, and self-accepting as you step out in new ways.

How to stop your inner critic from stopping you:

  1. Use EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) to clear old, limiting beliefs.  Email me for the basic EFT recipe.  Use EFT Tapping on each belief or criticism to release the associated feelings.
  2.  Be compassionate with yourself.  Understand that many people feel the same way you do.  Feel compassion for the way that you feel when you listen to your critic.  Feel compassion for yourself for mistakes you believe you’ve made.  Self compassion will help soothe anxiety, and reduce the fight-flight-freeze response.  When you feel calm and self-accepting, it will be easier to move forward.
  3. Make a list of your successes.  Connect with the energy you felt when you enjoyed each success. Feel into this energy as you imagine new successes. Keep your success list handy for regular practice.
  4. Begin with small success steps.  Feeling a sense of safety is crucial as you step out in new ways.  Start with easy steps towards your goal.  Next, take more challenging steps, amongst safe, encouraging people. Keep taking step after successful step.
  5. Contact me for a Transform Your Inner Critic EFT Session.  It’s my newest process.  My clients have been amazed at how powerful it is.

Read what people are saying about the Transform Your Inner Critic EFT Session.

Bottom line — When you hear your critical voice chime in —  send yourself a big dose of loving, encouraging, compassion.  It’s what we all need.

Be Kind To Yourself,

Marian

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Vibrant Health & Healing Tagged With: critical voice, EFT, limiting blocks, self-compassion, success, tapping

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What my clients say:

We have been honored to have Marian’s presence at our Company to learn more about stress reducing techniques like tapping and heart breath meditations.  Marian empowered many employees to utilize such an accessible technique to help manage emotions in the corporate setting.

~Zena Kim, Head of Wellness Passion Group, A+E Networks

Thank you so much, Marian!  I have held such appreciation in my heart for you and for the powerful work you have done with me.  I want to come see you for some more matrix reimprinting and EFT.  The more I expand the more I see. And I see more opportunities to release old ways and adopt new patterns that will serve my fullest expression of my soul's journey.

Leslie Goldman, Fine Artist www.wildcherryart.com

 

I started working with Marian over four years ago when I was experiencing recurrent miscarriages. It was an extremely vulnerable and traumatic time and I was lucky to find Marian through a friend’s recommendation. I had never done anything besides talk therapy previously and I was unfamiliar with EFT but I knew I needed something different. Marian educated me about EFT and its benefits. She tailored each session to my unique needs depending on what was going on for me emotionally and also used visualizations and breathwork. These are skills that I  also used on my own outside of our sessions. Marian is extremely skilled, grounding, empathetic and insightful. Even when I didn’t know what I needed, she listened and intuitively knew what to do. Her guidance helped me heal and move forward in my quest to be a mother. Our work together has truly been transformative for me and I continue to value our work now that I’m a new mother and am faced with new challenges.

~Susanna

Thank you for agreeing to speak at NAO Wellness! I loved hearing your story, it’s so captivating and inspiring.  The feedback from the workshop was amazing – participants said it was transformative, that the energy in the room completely shifted, and more. I was truly blown away, I’m still feeling all the good vibes. You are such a gift.

~ Nikki Ostrower, Founder and Principal Nutritionist at NAO Wellness.

Our session was incredible. I’m still in absolute awe at how quickly you led me to the core issues that were tangling me up. So often I would feel the impact of the inner critical voice on my emotions (I’d FEEL depressed, overwhelmed, stuck, anxious)…but I never knew what the core limiting beliefs exactly were. That you exposed them so effortlessly amazes me. I’m blown away by how good I feel – truly it is like I’m breathing deeper, feeling lighter, clearer– an everyday-kind-of joy just feels so much more accessible right now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your work- I can’t wait to continue further with you!

 ~ Lisa Grace Byrne, MPH  Author of Replenish, Founder of WellGroundedLife.com

Thank you so much for the session yesterday. It’s so freeing to feel grounded and energetically unblocked at the same time. You’ve been such an incredible guide and support this past year. I’m astounded by how much I’ve learned and how far I’ve come.

~Diana F.

THANK YOU.  I'm sure you must hear testimonials all the time, but just your presence, voice and spirit make a huge difference in the way I think and do things - and I change! It's really a miracle, and you are the catalyst. Your guidance is invaluable.

~D.G.

The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with nature.

Joseph Campbell
Certified EFT Practitioner

Disclaimer: The information and concepts presented on this website are for educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition. It is not intended to substitute for the advice, treatment and/or diagnosis of a qualified licensed medical professional.

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