Marian Buck Murray

EFT and IFS for Sensitive, Creative People. Empower yourself self-compassion and deep understanding.

Baby Steps

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Baby foot prints all colors of the rainbow. The joyful journey. Isolated on white background

Recently, I subscribed to Daily Burn, the online work-out website. It took me a while to get going – it’s been a long time since I’ve followed a regular intensive routine.

Truthfully, I was scared. Though I used to go to the gym 4-5 times a week, my work-outs stopped after my aortic valve surgery in 2008. I recovered quickly from my surgery, but was left with internal scar tissue, which would eventually constrict my left artery. Working out triggered symptoms including breathlessness and a strange ache in my teeth. Over the next two years I would have two stents implanted, to correct the problem.

But even with the corrective stents, I felt wary of strenuous exercise. Sensitive to the possibility of yet another go-around with the scar tissue. So, I’ve been cruising beneath the radar, careful not to raise my heart-rate too high. Doing just enough yoga, just enough walking, to keep myself believing I was doing enough.

Then came Daily Burn. I couldn’t resist the commercials. The free 30-Day Trial. The affordability. (Much cheaper than my old gym.) What’s to lose? I thought. It’s time. And I signed up.

It sat for almost a month. (Or, rather, I sat for almost a month…)

Then, finally, a day before the end of the trial period, I tried it. I was in gun-ho-get-it-back-mode, eager to prove that I was still in pretty good shape. So, of course, I did too much, too fast. I had to quit before the workout ended. And, for days afterwards I hobbled around on embarrassingly sore legs, telling myself: “I’m so out of shape, I’ll never get it back!”

By the time my legs felt better, the trial period was over, and the monthly payments had begun. With nothing to lose, I tried again.

This time, however, I took baby steps. I went for the super-beginner workout. I watched workout videos before trying them. I took breaks when I needed to.

And it worked.

And slowly, but quicker than I thought, I have progressed to harder and harder workouts. My heart feels healthy and strong. My body is energized. I feel great.

Baby steps. Just signing up was a step. Each step I took got me closer and closer to where I wanted to be. What felt hard in the beginning, now feels easy. What felt impossible, feels full of possibility.

Just as muscles need slow, steady work to grow stronger, so do our dreams and intentions.

So often, during an EFT Tapping session with a client, I hear that she’s dissatisfied with her current situation, and longs to have her dreams fulfilled, NOW. Though visualizing  a dream is certainly crucial, when we continually grasp for the place we want to be, we’re missing the power of now. Without that, we get nowhere.

It’s in each moment that we can take a step towards our dream. It’s great to have an idea of where we’re going, but it’s our steps that show us exactly where to go. It’s those baby steps of experience that allow us to choose our next step, each step of the way.

Ready to take a step forward?  Apply for a free 30-Minute Unleash Your Creative Genius Clarity Call. No matter how stuck you feel, I’ll help you clarify your next best steps to unleash your inner brilliance.

Move Forward — Even When Your Nay-Saying Inner-Critic Tries to Stop You.

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Let’s just say you’d like to step out in a new way.  Maybe it’s a new job.  A creative adventure.  A new relationship.  A public performance…..

But just as you start to imagine your new goal —  your nay-saying-inner-critic steps in to stop you.

From years of working with my private clients, I’ve come to realize that most of us (myself included) share some of the same negative inner-criticisms.  It’s what stops us from enjoying the success we desire. It’s what makes us give up, when we’re so close to success.  And it’s why I’m determined to do my part to help tame the inner critic — I know first-hand the damage it can create.

We all have an inner critic.  Unfortunately, when we believe the inner critic, we allow it to hold us back from our dreams.

Here are 5 common self-beliefs, reinforced by the nagging, nay-saying inner critic:

  1.  I’ll never do it.  —   Quite simply, if you believe this, you probably never will reach your goal.  This stifling belief is enough to make you give up before you even start.  You might believe that even though it’s possible for others, it’s impossible for you.
  2. I’m not good enough  —  This common,  poisonous  belief will zap your sense of self-worth.  When you struggle with feelings of low self-worth,  it feels easier to hold back, even when you are fully qualified.
  3. I’ll mess it up —  Thoughts of failure can make any challenge seem daunting.  When the possibility of failure looms large, moving forward can feel scary — even dangerous.
  4. It’s too good to be true.   Sometimes success can feel too good.  It can stir up worries that something will go wrong. Denying yourself success is one way to prevent future disappointments.
  5. They won’t like it (me).  Stepping out in a new way can feel especially threatening if you’re worried about reactions from family, friends, and the public.  If you continually tell yourself that they won’t like it, you might never try.  Or, you might spend eternity striving for elusive perfection.

No question —  the inner-critic gets in our way — disrupting and interrupting our progress.  

Fortunately, there are some very effective techniques to quiet and  the critical voice.   Here are a few that work well  for me, and for my clients.  Regular practice with any or all of the following techniques will help you feel more confident, and self-accepting as you step out in new ways.

How to stop your inner critic from stopping you:

  1. Use EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) to clear old, limiting beliefs.  Email me for the basic EFT recipe.  Use EFT Tapping on each belief or criticism to release the associated feelings.
  2.  Be compassionate with yourself.  Understand that many people feel the same way you do.  Feel compassion for the way that you feel when you listen to your critic.  Feel compassion for yourself for mistakes you believe you’ve made.  Self compassion will help soothe anxiety, and reduce the fight-flight-freeze response.  When you feel calm and self-accepting, it will be easier to move forward.
  3. Make a list of your successes.  Connect with the energy you felt when you enjoyed each success. Feel into this energy as you imagine new successes. Keep your success list handy for regular practice.
  4. Begin with small success steps.  Feeling a sense of safety is crucial as you step out in new ways.  Start with easy steps towards your goal.  Next, take more challenging steps, amongst safe, encouraging people. Keep taking step after successful step.
  5. Contact me for a Transform Your Inner Critic EFT Session.  It’s my newest process.  My clients have been amazed at how powerful it is.

Read what people are saying about the Transform Your Inner Critic EFT Session.

Bottom line — When you hear your critical voice chime in —  send yourself a big dose of loving, encouraging, compassion.  It’s what we all need.

Be Kind To Yourself,

Marian