Marian Buck Murray

EFT and Matrix Reimprinting for Sensitive, Empathic, Creative People. Step out of the shadows and share your gifts and talents.

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Call Back Your Energy

April 20, 2022 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

 

Many of my clients talk about feeling fatigued and overwhelmed by all that is happening with the people in their lives and in the world.  It definitely makes a lot of sense.  And, it’s certainly important to do what we can for those in need — our world needs more of it.  However, when boundaries are loose, or non-existent, empathy and compassion for others can easily morph into a belief of being responsible for their well-being.

 I am not suggesting we ignore the well-being of others.  Rather, I am suggesting that the belief that we’re responsible for another’s well-being is what contributes to fatigue and overwhelm.  This belief pushes us to over-give, overextend, micromanage, self-censor, worry, and more.  It can easily leave us feeling completely drained.  When we’re completely drained, it’s impossible, to participate in our lives at our highest potential.

It takes a great deal of energy to take responsibility for another person.  It takes more even more energy to worry about that person.  Add to that the worry for people and creatures around the world, and energy depletion is guaranteed.

I understand, that for many of us, especially sensitive people, it usually doesn’t feel like a choice.  It can feel as though if we don’t take responsibility, no one will. Most often, there are life circumstances which have led to these conclusions.  Because it’s a repetitive pattern, it feels natural, no matter how uncomfortable.  In fact, it typically feels like the ‘right’ or most compassionate thing to do.   

So how do we stay compassionate and caring, without depleting energy? How do we take a step back to spend more time tending to our own needs?   It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely possible.  And the rewards are truly worth it.

Here are some of the mindset shifts and tools that are working for me, and for my clients:

Let Go of Feeling Responsible  — We need to always remember that each person is ultimately responsible for their own well-being.  It can be a tricky dance, but the more we’re able to let go of feeling responsible for another’s well-being, the better.  

It’s a balance that we need to find.  There’s nothing wrong with giving, and helping, and extending ourselves — but letting go of feeling responsible is necessary.  When we feel less burdened by responsibility, we’re able to come from a more genuine, loving place.  This enables us to be truly compassionate, rather than overburdened or resentful.

Certainly, there are those for whom we need to take some or more responsibility, including young children, disabled loved ones, and elderly loved ones.  But even here, there are limits.  Allowing for another’s independence, inner-wisdom, and true nature is paramount.  

Stop Trying to Control What You Cannot Control  — No matter how distressing, we can’t control what happens in the world.  We can’t control what people believe, or how they react or feel.  The same is true for much of what happens with our families, and friends.  Sometimes, we can’t even control what happens to us.  By wanting, imagining, or exerting control over what’s impossible to control, we deplete essential energy.  It’s when we let go of trying to control that we reclaim this energy.  When we reclaim our energy, it’s much easier to manage our responses to our current circumstances. 

When Triggered, Pause and Look Within — When you find yourself triggered, or are afraid of triggering another, it’s time to pause and look within.  Ask yourself what you are trying to stop from happening.  What are you trying to make happen?  What emotions or reactions are you trying to avoid, either in yourself or another?  

Pausing to check in with yourself will help you bring your energy back. This in itself will help de-escalate the trigger.  By checking in, you can focus on your emotions and needs.  This will enable you to do what’s necessary for your own well-being.  This might mean taking a break, doing a meditation, journaling, or reaching out to a healing professional.  All of this will help you call back your energy.

Spend Time Alone – Spend time alone, whether it’s a 15 minute break, a soothing bath,  or a walk in nature.  This will help you let go of external influences, and regroup your energy.

Meditate —  The more you’re able to meditate, the more you will realize that there’s a whole world within, beyond the noise outside.  Maintaining a consistent meditation practice will help you reduce stress, and focus your attention on what’s important to you.  Meditation is a perfect way to call back your energy.

Tap —  EFT Tapping will help you calm your nervous system, and release emotions that keep you on edge.  By physically tapping on acupressure points, you automatically begin to focus your energy back to your body and mind. EFT can also assist you in resolving issues that keep you stuck in energy-depleting patterns.  Click here to learn more about EFT Tapping. 

Practice the Heart Breath — The Heart Breath is a beautiful way to drop out of a worried, distracted, mind, into the power of your heart.  This breath can be incredibly relaxing, and energizing.   An overactive, worried mind depletes an enormous amount of energy. By using the heart breath, you can call back your energy, and harness the power of your heart.  To learn how to use the heart breath, contact me.  To access my Heart Breath Audio Meditation, find me on Insight Timer, or enter your email in the Heart Breath box to the right of this post.

Here’s to more energy!

Peace,

Marian

To experience the power of EFT Tapping and Matrix Reimprinting to call back your energy, contact me.

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: call back your energy, calm your nervous system, EFT, eft practitioner, EFT tapping, energy depletion, heart breath, how to handle triggers, Let go of control, matrix reimprinting, meditation, self-compassion, tapping, what depletes energy

The Cortisol Connection

April 7, 2020 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

Cortisol, such a beautiful, important hormone.  It wakes us up in the morning.  It acts as an anti-inflammatory.  It assists us during emergencies. 

However, when cortisol consistently spikes too high, it drains blood from the thinking part of the brain, keeps us up at night, and makes us vulnerable to illness.

Fortunately, EFT Tapping has been proven to be one of the most effective techniques for reducing cortisol.

Learn more in this 5-minute video:

If you need help navigating life right now, contact me to find out how EFT Tapping can truly, truly help.

Sending You Peace and Lots of Love,

Marian

 

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: brain function, cortisol, EFT tapping, high cortisol, hormonal balance, Reduce Cortisol, tapping

5 Tips to Deal with Family Triggers

December 4, 2019 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

Ahhh.  Holiday time.  So often that means family-gathering time.  And time with family can be wonderful.  Unless, of course, it’s not. 

For some, family gatherings mean a whole host of triggers getting triggered.  Everything from old sibling squabbles, unresolved wounds, political or lifestyle differences, and even food choices, are game in the family trigger arena.  

Even when we’re trying so hard to be ‘zen’ about it, old hurts can throw us right back into the ring.

So here, my friend, are some tips to help you actually feel a whole lot more zen, so maybe you can truly enjoy your family this season.  Or, for that matter, anytime you get together, call, write, or somehow communicate with your family members.  Enjoy.

 

 

Peace,
Marian

P.S.  Reach out to me if you’d like help releasing old hurts and disappointments.

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: EFT, EFT tapping, family gatherings, family triggers, forgiveness, forgiving family members, healing hurt feelings, ho'oponopono, holiday stress relief, Releasing hurt feelings, tapping

What Do You Expect?

July 15, 2016 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

Green cartel with text "Great Expectations", 3d render

Really, what do you expect?  There’s an energy in your expectations, which will affect your behavior, and eventually lead you to attract what you expect.  So, be mindful of your expectations.

Expectations come from past experiences, most often childhood.  For example, if you frequently heard the word ‘no’ when you asked for something as a child, you might refrain from asking for things directly. Expecting to hear a ‘no’, you might find yourself cushioning your requests in an effort to make them sound sweeter.  Or, perhaps you avoid asking for things all together.

If you consistently got rejected by a group of friends, you might expect to be rejected in your current social situations.  This expectation might cause you to act shy, or ‘not yourself’ around other people. This type of behavior can lead to even more rejection, since people won’t be able to get to know you in the way you want to be known.

Expectations such as “work is hard”, or “there’s never enough time”, or “I’ll never get ahead”, will contribute to negative feelings, such as anxiety and fear. These negative feelings will make things feel hard, and zap your motivation, and your ability, to get things done.

Expectations can be tricky, since they’re so often proven right.  Because we see the proof, our expectations seem like indisputable facts. And if they’re indisputable facts, how can we change them?

The key here, is to realize that expectations are merely thoughts about the future, seen through the lens of past experience. 

So, even if we might not be able to change an indisputable fact, we can change both our thoughts, and the lens through which we see our future.

The bottom line? We can change our expectations to help us get what we really want.

How to change your expectations:

Be open to the possibilities. Things might turn out differently than you expect. You can’t be certain about what will happen in the future, so be open to different possibilities.

Rewrite your expectations. Write down a list of your most prominent negative expectations, and rewrite them to be more positive. For example — Change “I’ll never succeed” to  “Wouldn’t it be great if I succeeded at that.”  Don’t force a positive expectation that doesn’t feel true.  Instead, rewrite your expectation as a possible desirable outcome.

Notice your positive expectations. What do you consistently expect?  Do you you expect a great workout?  Do you expect a productive work time?  Do you expect a pleasant conversation with a certain friend?  Watch what happens with your positive expectations.

Keep a positive expectation journal. Expectations love proof. Note what happens as a result of shifting your thoughts.

Visualize.  Close your eyes and imagine a desirable outcome. As much as possible, get into the ‘energy’ of the scene using your emotions and senses.  Visualization will help you change your beliefs about what is possible.

Change your expectations and you will change everything.

 

In Courage,

Marian

 

To clear the old lens through which you see your future, contact me to learn how EFT Tapping can help.

My New Podcast!  Courageous HeartBeats.  Listen on iTunes.

 

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: beliefs, EFT, expectations, positive expectations, tapping, visualization

Move Forward — Even When Your Nay-Saying Inner-Critic Tries to Stop You.

October 1, 2013 by Marian Buck-Murray 4 Comments

Let’s just say you’d like to step out in a new way.  Maybe it’s a new job.  A creative adventure.  A new relationship.  A public performance…..

But just as you start to imagine your new goal —  your nay-saying-inner-critic steps in to stop you.

From years of working with my private clients, I’ve come to realize that most of us (myself included) share some of the same negative inner-criticisms.  It’s what stops us from enjoying the success we desire. It’s what makes us give up, when we’re so close to success.  And it’s why I’m determined to do my part to help tame the inner critic — I know first-hand the damage it can create.

We all have an inner critic.  Unfortunately, when we believe the inner critic, we allow it to hold us back from our dreams.

Here are 5 common self-beliefs, reinforced by the nagging, nay-saying inner critic:

  1.  I’ll never do it.  —   Quite simply, if you believe this, you probably never will reach your goal.  This stifling belief is enough to make you give up before you even start.  You might believe that even though it’s possible for others, it’s impossible for you.
  2. I’m not good enough  —  This common,  poisonous  belief will zap your sense of self-worth.  When you struggle with feelings of low self-worth,  it feels easier to hold back, even when you are fully qualified.
  3. I’ll mess it up —  Thoughts of failure can make any challenge seem daunting.  When the possibility of failure looms large, moving forward can feel scary — even dangerous.
  4. It’s too good to be true.   Sometimes success can feel too good.  It can stir up worries that something will go wrong. Denying yourself success is one way to prevent future disappointments.
  5. They won’t like it (me).  Stepping out in a new way can feel especially threatening if you’re worried about reactions from family, friends, and the public.  If you continually tell yourself that they won’t like it, you might never try.  Or, you might spend eternity striving for elusive perfection.

No question —  the inner-critic gets in our way — disrupting and interrupting our progress.  

Fortunately, there are some very effective techniques to quiet and  the critical voice.   Here are a few that work well  for me, and for my clients.  Regular practice with any or all of the following techniques will help you feel more confident, and self-accepting as you step out in new ways.

How to stop your inner critic from stopping you:

  1. Use EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) to clear old, limiting beliefs.  Email me for the basic EFT recipe.  Use EFT Tapping on each belief or criticism to release the associated feelings.
  2.  Be compassionate with yourself.  Understand that many people feel the same way you do.  Feel compassion for the way that you feel when you listen to your critic.  Feel compassion for yourself for mistakes you believe you’ve made.  Self compassion will help soothe anxiety, and reduce the fight-flight-freeze response.  When you feel calm and self-accepting, it will be easier to move forward.
  3. Make a list of your successes.  Connect with the energy you felt when you enjoyed each success. Feel into this energy as you imagine new successes. Keep your success list handy for regular practice.
  4. Begin with small success steps.  Feeling a sense of safety is crucial as you step out in new ways.  Start with easy steps towards your goal.  Next, take more challenging steps, amongst safe, encouraging people. Keep taking step after successful step.
  5. Contact me for a Transform Your Inner Critic EFT Session.  It’s my newest process.  My clients have been amazed at how powerful it is.

Read what people are saying about the Transform Your Inner Critic EFT Session.

Bottom line — When you hear your critical voice chime in —  send yourself a big dose of loving, encouraging, compassion.  It’s what we all need.

Be Kind To Yourself,

Marian

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Vibrant Health & Healing Tagged With: critical voice, EFT, limiting blocks, self-compassion, success, tapping

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What my clients say:

The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with nature.

Joseph Campbell
Certified EFT Practitioner

Disclaimer: The information and concepts presented on this website are for educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition. It is not intended to substitute for the advice, treatment and/or diagnosis of a qualified licensed medical professional.

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