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Stay With Yourself — Be Here Now

August 21, 2019 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

I just got back from a beautiful week at the Omega Institute, assisting Dawson Church with the EFT Practitioner Training program. Throughout the week, we helped participants transform limiting feelings and beliefs with both EFT Tapping and meditation. It was a transformative, and in many ways miraculous, week for us all.

What became so clear to me (once again), is the importance of accepting all feelings, no matter how uncomfortable. It’s in the acceptance of these feelings, that we are able to transform our experience.

In this world of ours, so often it’s the striving that takes front seat. How, for example, will we succeed if we don’t strive for more? And more? And more? And so often, once we get ‘more’, we don’t feel the success we imagined.

The problem with striving is that we’re frequently propelled by a feeling that we’re not enough, or complete, without whatever it is we’re striving for. You know the refrain: I’ll be happy when___________.

The underlying feeling of inadequacy will follow us, until we find a way to stay with it long enough to transform it.

To stay with yourself, to be here now, means to be present with whatever is going on. Not off in the future, hoping for something better. Not back in the past, wishing things were different. Here now, whether it’s comfortable, or not.

It’s when we avoid the now-moment that we lose power. That we abandon ourselves. Unfortunately, by avoiding our feelings with substances and experiences, we will never feel better about ourselves.

True transformation happens when we accept ourselves exactly as we are, exactly where we are, right now.

Easy to say, and usually, not so easy to do. Yet, it gets easier once you begin to realize how truly powerful you are.

Next time you find yourself avoiding, whether it’s with food, internet, tv, shopping, alcohol, or any other type of escape, ask yourself what you’re avoiding. Be gentle with yourself. Pause and notice what you’re feeling. If you can, stay with yourself.

Stay with yourself, through thick and thin. Stay at the time when you need yourself the most. Stay to reveal the truth of who you are.

Ideas to help you stay:

Sit, close your eyes, and notice what you feel. Don’t push anything away. Just sit. Don’t worry if you don’t feel peaceful or enlightened. Just sit and notice. Stay with any discomfort.
Breathe deeply, from your belly, and notice the flow of your breath. Notice the beat of your heart. Notice this power within you. Know that this power is always with you.
Send love and compassion to any discomfort you feel. Any and all discomfort is worthy of your love and compassion. If you can’t summon feelings of love and compassion, that’s okay too. Stay with what you are feeling. Notice any insights that arise.
Use EFT Tapping to tap on your feelings. Accept them, and if they’re ready, allow them to release. For information on how to use EFT Tapping, click here.
Connect with your higher consciousness. Use meditation to tune into your higher consciousness. Ask it to help you during challenging times. This added assistance will help you tune into solutions, and relief, you didn’t see before.

For most of us, it’s not possible to stay present at all times. Escapes can be pleasurable and sometimes necessary. And, we can choose to stay present with any escape. However, when escapes turn into chronic avoidance, we will always experience more pain. We can’t maintain the bliss of the escape, so we fall into a funk, or look for new ways to escape.

The key to all of this is to stay. Stay with the discomfort, with love and acceptance, so that it can begin to transform. By being here now, we find the true bliss of a clear mind and soul, as we open to the gifts of the universe.

Peace,

Marian

Do you need help transforming your discomfort? contact me.

10 Ways to Raise Your Vibration

July 26, 2019 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

What does it mean to raise your vibration? It means, simply, to improve the way you feel. To shift from a negative state to something that feels more positive. To change your thoughts from weakening worry to empowering gratitude. To express love and kindness instead of anger or judgement. When we feel good, we radiate goodness. And right now we need a whole lotta goodness in this world!

Here are some suggestions. Find what works for you. Practice daily.

And remember, any time you feel even a little happier, better, lighter, or more peaceful, you are raising your vibration.

Smile. Smile in the mirror. Smile at people. Smile at animals. Smile at people in the store. Smile as you read something inspiring. Smile because you’re you. Smile right now. Smiling tells your brain to release feel-good neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine.
Journal. Journaling will help you release whatever is nagging at your mind. Release it and let it go. No need to re-read.
Commit Acts of Kindness. Practice kindness. Open doors for people. Let people go ahead of you in traffic. Do something nice for an elderly neighbor. Call or text a friend to tell them how much you appreciate them. Acts of kindness don’t have to be enormous. When done spontaneously they bring joy to both you and to your recipient.
Clear and Cleanse. Use tools such as dry brushing, shower, salt bath, sauna, and sound bath to help you detoxify. By releasing toxic stagnancy, you will naturally raise your vibration.
Chant. Chanting a yogic, or Sanskrit mantra, repetitively, will help boost brain function, and reduce stress and anxiety. These mantras are designed tune your system to a higher vibration. Choose a mantra that appeals to you, and chant it for 108 times daily for maximum benefit.
Move. Movement moves stagnant energy. Exercise. Dance. Do yoga. Take a walk in Nature, where you’ll get bonus points from all the high-vibe negative ions. Any time we release stagnant energy, we feel better. The better you feel, the higher your vibration.
Meditate. Meditation helps you tune into Divinity within you. It can also assist you in receiving guidance from invisible (or visible) sources. Meditation helps you tune into the higher vibrations of love, peace, and gratitude.
Use EFT Tapping. EFT Tapping will help release unwanted ‘negative’ emotions that pull down your vibration. Sometimes we’re not even aware that we have underlying low feelings such as shame, anger, or self-doubt. EFT can help us pinpoint and release these feelings, so we can raise our vibration. To learn how to use EFT Tapping, click here.
Practice the Heart Breath. The Heart Breath is a beautiful way to bring yourself into heart energy, the energy of unconditional love. Unconditional Love radiates at a very high vibration. To learn how to use the Heart Breath, click here.
Express Gratitude. Gratitude is a powerful way to help us shift from a place of lack and scarcity. By appreciating even the smallest things in our lives, we fill ourselves with sweet gratitude, and a feeling that all is well.

Best Wishes for Your Highest Vibes Ever!

Marian

Contact me for a complimentary 30-minute call where I’ll help you pinpoint the best ways to embrace, care for, and celebrate your sensitivity.

Your True Value

June 6, 2019 by Marian Buck-Murray 2 Comments

Recently I went to the store to buy a large pad of paper. My collage teacher had told me that I needed larger paper to allow for ample white space for my ongoing collage work. She says the white space will give my collages the value, and respect, they deserve.

So, thinking I knew exactly what I needed, I eagerly went off to my favorite art store. Once there, however, I realized I hadn’t checked the dimensions of the paper I had been using. I couldn’t seem to find a pad which looked like the next size larger. So, I purchased a pad which was obviously larger, even though it seemed too big.

Once home, I immediately realized the paper was far too big. Knowing I needed the dimensions of the original pad, I peeked inside the bag where I store my collage materials. And, there, in plain sight, were the dimensions printed on the lower corner of pad’s cover.

If only I had taken one extra second to check in ….

So, feeling eager, dimensions in hand, I set out the next day to purchase the ‘right’ pad of paper. This time I found a pad which seemed to be the proper size. Strangely, though, something didn’t seem quite right. I couldn’t put my finger on it. So, I purchased the pad, and went home, excited to finally have what I needed. Or so I thought…

You guessed it. Once home, to my great chagrin, and embarrassment, I realized I had AGAIN purchased the wrong paper.

This time, though, as I pulled the original pad from its storage bag, I realized my mistake. Instead of 140-pound paper (which I had purchased the first time around) I had twice purchased paper that was only 98 pounds. I purchased Mixed Media paper instead of Watercolor. The wrong value, wrong quality, for the work I was creating.

UGH!!!

Feeling so disappointed in myself, I knew I needed to shift out of my foul mood. I also knew that my inner critic was running wild and needed some loving attention.

So I meditated. And during my meditation, I hugged my inner critic with love and compassion.

I saw that in my eagerness, my playful glee, I had gone to the store without taking time to see what I truly needed. In other words, I had forgotten to check in. A common error, and one I could forgive.

What I saw next was even more important. In forgiving myself, I saw what I had truly missed. I had missed the original value, or weight, of the paper.

So, I went for the bigger, cheaper versions, neither of which worked.

And, isn’t that what we’re always doing? Forgetting our value, and looking outside of ourselves for bigger, cheaper versions of ourselves? Versions that will never align with who we truly are?

The facades we wear. The secrets we keep to avoid exposure. The criticisms we take to heart. After a while, we forget who we are. We forget how valuable we are. And the more we forget, the farther away we go.

Two pads of paper. Both wrong, because I failed to check in to see what was right for me. Wrong because I hadn’t appreciated the value of the original pad.

The white space surrounding my collage helps me see it’s true value. Stepping out of our busy minds, checking in with ourselves, helps us create the space to see our own.

If you need to get in touch with your true value, contact me. I can help.

Peaceful Blessings,

Marian

Tap Into Your Creative Flow

April 17, 2019 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

I recently signed up for a collage class at my local adult school. The first thing my teacher told us was to stop thinking, and allow our subconscious minds to take over. I knew right then and there that this was the right class for me.

In essence, it’s exactly what I tell my clients, my students, my husband, and myself, again and again. Drop out of your mind and let your creative flow do the job.

Simple, profound, and sometimes quite difficult.

The mind has a way of convincing us that it knows best. It’s also damn good at reminding us of all the ways in which we’re screwing up. It promises us solutions, if we stay just a little bit longer. And that’s when we get stuck, there in the discomfort of our minds, scouring every nook and cranny in search of the right answers. It’s at that moment that our creative flow comes to a screeching halt.

It is easy to get stuck, and it’s easy to stay stuck. That’s why it’s important to continually tap into, nourish, and encourage your creative flow.

Here are some ways to tap into creative flow:

Free flow writing – Free-flow writing means writing without censoring. Julia Cameron, author of the Artist’s Way, recommends writing 3 handwritten pages, first thing each morning. Another technique is to choose a word prompt, and write whatever comes to the page. Free-flow writing will allow you to come up with ideas you never could have thought up.

Free flow art – Again, like free-flow writing, free-flow art such as sketching, or collage, will help you to tap into your creative flow. Allow your art to come from this deeper place within you. By regularly practicing, you will become more and more familiar with the power of your subconscious creative flow. And, you will come up with creations you never could have planned.

Prepare and Let Go – Of course, sometimes it is best to prepare. For information- or skill-based projects, preparation is key. Once you’ve substantially prepared yourself, though, it’s time to let go and allow your subconscious to guide you. I frequently practice this technique, when I speak publicly, or teach a class. I prepare my talk, and let go. My preparation allows me to speak confidently without notes, my creative flow provides me with on-point spontaneity.

Brainstorming – Good old brainstorming. How often do we allow ourselves to brainstorm. The key to brainstorming is to let go of the censor, and allow anything to come up, no matter how ‘impractical’. It’s these ideas that sometimes hold the magic gems we desire, but can’t ‘figure out’ with our everyday brains.

Walk in New Surroundings — Shake things up. Take a new way to work, explore an unfamiliar part of town, hike a hidden wooded trail, travel to a different locale. Take yourself out of familiar surroundings, and use adventure to revive your creative flow!

Heart Breath—Negative mind chatter is one of the biggest deterrents of creative flow. The Heart Breath is one of the fastest ways to drop out of negative mind, into a deeper, more creative, alpha brainwave state. It’s easy to do, learn more here.

EFT Tapping – EFT Tapping is another powerful technique to help you drop into your creative flow. EFT is one of the most effective techniques for reducing cortisol, which gets triggered when we’re under stress. Reducing cortisol, will help you relax, and drop into a deeper alpha brain state. Contact me to learn more about using EFT Tapping to enrich your creative flow.

Listen to Music Infused with Binaural Beats – This type of music will help your brain shift into a deeper brainwave state. Especially helpful for times when you’re working on creative projects. Insight Timer, my favorite meditation app, has a number of free Binaural Beat meditations. Hemisync and Silencio Music are two other sources I use.

Show Up and Stay a While — Most importantly — show up! Show up to the page, the easel, the screen, the mat, the place where you create. Show up and stay. Stay with your discomfort. Stay with your unknowing. Stay a little longer. And a little longer after that. Show up and trust the creative flow that’s here, right now.

Each one of us is gifted with our own unique, creative flow. Use whatever techniques work best to tap into yours, and let it ROLL!

Happy Creating!

Marian

Let Go of Trying to Fix It

February 21, 2019 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

I hear it again and again from my clients. And in the meetup group I run for sensitive, empathic people. It’s hard to let go of the desire to fix what’s wrong. It seems that for sensitive people, there’s truly is an innate sense of responsibility that drives us not only to help people, but to try to fix what’s wrong as well.

There’s nothing wrong with helping. There’s nothing wrong with showing compassion and empathy for others. Sometimes, there’s nothing wrong with fixing. What gets us into a pickle is when we believe it’s our responsibility to fix other people’s problems.

It might feel natural to want to fix things. And that’s okay. So often, however, we want to fix things because we feel uncomfortable when others are uncomfortable.

Because we easily pick up on what others are feeling, it’s only natural that we would want to stop what hurts.

This, however, is not always possible. Nor is it warranted. Just because we have an innate sense of responsibility, it doesn’t mean we need to take responsibility in all situations.

So, what do we do when we are confronted with the discomfort and disappointment of others?

As hard as it might feel, it’s truly about surrendering to the moment, and accepting whatever is happening. It’s about relaxing into the discomfort of not-knowing. It’s in this allowing that we are able to respond most effectively. It’s in this acceptance that we sometimes realize that our love and compassion is all that’s needed.

Recently my daughter became quite ill from anesthesia she received for a minor surgery. She couldn’t even hold down water. She eventually became so severely dehydrated that we took her to the ER.

As a mother, I wanted to fix things. I wanted to tell her exactly what to do to feel better. I wanted to find the answers that would solve her problem. But, no matter what I tried, I couldn’t help her. She just kept throwing up. And so, I relaxed. I relaxed into the not-knowing. I relaxed into the extreme discomfort. I relaxed into letting go of how I thought things should be.

And it was in that relaxation that I found the strength to truly be there for her as she struggled through her pain. It was all I could do. All I was meant to do. All that was needed. Once we got to the ER, I took care of necessary details, and then I stepped back and allowed the nurses and doctors to help her. I also allowed the disappointment that even this help didn’t prove to immediately heal her.

Thankfully, my daughter did recover, the effects from the anesthesia finally dissipated, and she’s back on her feet. The ER fluids were likely a life-safer. But in the end, it was a daily waiting game until she finally healed.

Here are Some Steps to Let Go of Trying to Fix Things:

Relax – This will allow you the clarity you need. Clarity will allow you to see if your help is actually needed, or warranted. In order to relax, try a combination of deep breathing, EFT Tapping, meditation, soothing music, Tulsi tea, yoga, aromatherapy, or any other technique that helps you.

Get Comfortable with Discomfort — Let go of resisting someone else’s pain. Instead, step into the role of compassionate witness. Compassionate witnessing allows you to honor and validate someone’s pain. This witnessing, without fixing, can be profoundly helpful.

Respond – As necessary. Fixing and helping are not the same thing. You can help someone without fixing their problems. You can be there for a person, to truly help them during their time of need. Often, that’s the best help there is. And, in some situations, sometimes saying “NO, I can’t help right now” might be the most helpful response of all.

With practice we can learn to create balance. We can learn to ask for help as we need it. We can let go of believing we’re responsible for fixing what cannot be fixed.

Sometimes, we just have to surrender, and wait it out.

Blessings,

Marian

Need help letting go of feeling so responsible? Contact me.