Marian Buck Murray

EFT and Matrix Reimprinting for Sensitive, Empathic, Creative People. Step out of the shadows and share your gifts and talents.

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Overcome Social Anxiety– Tips to Make it So Much Easier!

September 27, 2018 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

 

Frequently my clients will talk about feeling anxious when meeting new people, or  participating in social situations.  I understand their anxiety.  And though I still deal with it, I have created ways to overcome it, so I can step into new situations with ease.

Social anxiety can be more acute for sensitive, empathic people. Consistently being attuned to how others are feeling can create a sense of overwhelm and discomfort.  In addition, sensitive people are more apt to worry about what other people think of them. This can easily trigger an ongoing mind-loop of anxious thoughts, which of course will make socializing even more difficult.

The key to overcoming social anxiety, is somewhat paradoxical.  The key is to both detach from what others are thinking, and at the same time, listen completely to what they are saying. 

We can’t ever truly know what a person is thinking.  However, when we listen carefully, we can understand deeply.  And people love to be understood.

Here are the steps which help me overcome my own anxiety:

Positive visualization.  Before the event, I sit down and visualize things going smoothly.  This is an important step, because we’re so often visualizing that things will go poorly. In my visualization I don’t get very detailed.  Instead, I visualize the scene filled with peace, laughter, and joy. I visualize, and sense, how I’d like to feel when I’m there.  This technique is amazingly helpful. It’s gotten me though interviews, corporate talks, workshops I’m hosting, holiday parties, and more.

EFT Tapping. Again, before the event, I do a few rounds of EFT Tapping.  I tune into any anxiety I might be feeling, and I tap.  This helps reduce cortisol, the major stress hormone.  Sometimes only 5 minutes of tapping will do the trick.  For more anxiety-provoking situations I might work on it longer, or get help from another practitioner.

Deep Breathing. Once you get to your event, remember to breathe deeply.  Check in with yourself to make sure you are breathing.  Shallow breathing, up high in your chest, will trigger a sense of stress. Deep breathing, from down in your belly, turns on the relaxation response.

Listen Deeply. When talking with someone at the event, someone you know, or someone you don’t, remember to listen deeply to what they are saying. Most people truly like to talk about themselves. And everyone loves to be heard and understood.  So, rather than stressing about what you should say, relax, and listen.  Drop out of your head, and allow yourself to tap into your intuitive flow.  Ask questions to learn more about the person you’re with.  This will help form a connection, and create an easier flow of communication.

Find Your People. Now, it’s definitely important to step out of your comfort zone to meet new people.  However, if you feel overwhelmed by social anxiety at first, it’s okay to start by spending time with just a few people, or even one person, with whom you feel comfortable.  The goal here, is not to use these people as a crutch, but rather to use deep listening, and question-asking, to help you build your confidence.  Get yourself going, and then step out to meet someone new.

Plan Your Exit – Often times it’s okay to leave early. It’s also okay to excuse yourself for a moment to go outside to get some air. Social events can be over-stimulating for anyone, especially a sensitive person. So, when appropriate, and if needed, plan an early exit. Bring your own car, or agree ahead of time on an exit time with whomever is driving. Just knowing you can leave early will help you relax and enjoy yourself.  And, if you’re truly okay, you might even want to stay longer than you planned.

By following these steps, you will help make socializing will feel easier and easier.  You’ll make a deeper connection with more people, and therefore feel comfortable around more people. You might even begin to crave social events.  I do, even though I still get anxious sometimes.

Need help calming your own social anxiety?  Contact me.

In Courage,

Marian

 

 

 

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: anxiety relief, creative visualization, deep breathing, deep listening, EFT tapping, Empath, sensitive people, social anxiety, Socializing

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We have been honored to have Marian’s presence at our Company to learn more about stress reducing techniques like tapping and heart breath meditations.  Marian empowered many employees to utilize such an accessible technique to help manage emotions in the corporate setting.

~Zena Kim, Head of Wellness Passion Group, A+E Networks

Our session was incredible. I’m still in absolute awe at how quickly you led me to the core issues that were tangling me up. So often I would feel the impact of the inner critical voice on my emotions (I’d FEEL depressed, overwhelmed, stuck, anxious)…but I never knew what the core limiting beliefs exactly were. That you exposed them so effortlessly amazes me. I’m blown away by how good I feel – truly it is like I’m breathing deeper, feeling lighter, clearer– an everyday-kind-of joy just feels so much more accessible right now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your work- I can’t wait to continue further with you!

 ~ Lisa Grace Byrne, MPH  Author of Replenish, Founder of WellGroundedLife.com

Thank you for agreeing to speak at NAO Wellness! I loved hearing your story, it’s so captivating and inspiring.  The feedback from the workshop was amazing – participants said it was transformative, that the energy in the room completely shifted, and more. I was truly blown away, I’m still feeling all the good vibes. You are such a gift.

~ Nikki Ostrower, Founder and Principal Nutritionist at NAO Wellness.

THANK YOU.  I'm sure you must hear testimonials all the time, but just your presence, voice and spirit make a huge difference in the way I think and do things - and I change! It's really a miracle, and you are the catalyst. Your guidance is invaluable.

~D.G.

I started working with Marian over four years ago when I was experiencing recurrent miscarriages. It was an extremely vulnerable and traumatic time and I was lucky to find Marian through a friend’s recommendation. I had never done anything besides talk therapy previously and I was unfamiliar with EFT but I knew I needed something different. Marian educated me about EFT and its benefits. She tailored each session to my unique needs depending on what was going on for me emotionally and also used visualizations and breathwork. These are skills that I  also used on my own outside of our sessions. Marian is extremely skilled, grounding, empathetic and insightful. Even when I didn’t know what I needed, she listened and intuitively knew what to do. Her guidance helped me heal and move forward in my quest to be a mother. Our work together has truly been transformative for me and I continue to value our work now that I’m a new mother and am faced with new challenges.

~Susanna

Thank you so much for the session yesterday. It’s so freeing to feel grounded and energetically unblocked at the same time. You’ve been such an incredible guide and support this past year. I’m astounded by how much I’ve learned and how far I’ve come.

~Diana F.

Thank you so much, Marian!  I have held such appreciation in my heart for you and for the powerful work you have done with me.  I want to come see you for some more matrix reimprinting and EFT.  The more I expand the more I see. And I see more opportunities to release old ways and adopt new patterns that will serve my fullest expression of my soul's journey.

Leslie Goldman, Fine Artist www.wildcherryart.com

 

The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with nature.

Joseph Campbell
Certified EFT Practitioner

Disclaimer: The information and concepts presented on this website are for educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition. It is not intended to substitute for the advice, treatment and/or diagnosis of a qualified licensed medical professional.

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