Marian Buck Murray

EFT and Matrix Reimprinting for Sensitive, Empathic, Creative People. Step out of the shadows and share your gifts and talents.

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Triggered? Here’s What To Do

November 4, 2020 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment



W
e all know what it feels like to be triggered.  Triggered by something someone says.  Or does.  Or by something we read in the news, or on social media.  For some of us, sometimes all it takes is a song on the radio to trigger a round of tears.  Or, the sight of a particular person to send us spiraling into anger.

Usually when we feel triggered, we’re being reminded of something from our past.  In other words, we experience the same feelings as we did during a similar event(s) in the past.  It’s easy to blame our triggers on whatever is in front of us.  However, though our current situation might feel awful, it’s when we shine a light on our subconscious wounds, that we begin to eliminate our triggers.

What’s important to realize, is that when we are triggered, whether with anger, sadness, or fear, we are essentially disempowered.  We’re less able to think, or speak, clearly.  And, we’re more likely to react impulsively, and in ways we might later regret.

The goal is to help deactivate the triggers, so that we can face unpleasant, challenging, situations more effectively. 

So, how do we do this?   

Pause.  Honor what you’re feeling. And take a breath.

When you feel triggered, pause to notice what you’re feeling.  Slow your breath.  Begin breathing deeply from your belly.  Slow, deep, breathing turns on the relaxation response. 

Next, while breathing deeply, tune into what you’re feeling, and use your fingers to tap on the fleshy side of your hand.  (It doesn’t matter which hand.)  This tapping will help you interrupt your automatic trigger reaction. In addition, tapping helps to reduce cortisol,  reduce the intensity of the feeling, and bring blood back to your brain. 

All of this makes your brain more effective, and helps you feel better — enabling you to handle your situation in a more powerful way.

It’s simple.  By pausing, and interrupting your reaction, you will be more able to respond consciously, rather than unconsciously.

Because our triggers typically stem from painful events, they can actually lead us to the places we most need to heal.  If you struggle with strong triggers, reach out for professional guidance to learn how to manage them. 

For the video:  EFT Tapping For Feeling Triggered, see below…

Wishing You Peace and Wellbeing,

Marian

 

EFT Tapping is an efficient, quick way to deactivate, and neutralize triggers.  Contact me to learn more about how you can use EFT tapping to work with your triggers.

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: anger, cortisol, deep breathing, EFT tapping, eliminate triggers, Fear, How to deal with emotional triggers, neutralize triggers, sadness, subconscious wounds, triggers, What to do when you're triggered

5 Tips to Conquer Holiday Overwhelm

November 21, 2019 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

I know you’re busy, so I’ll keep this short.

If you’re like my clients —  big-hearted, compassionate, sensitive, and empathic — you might feel especially overwhelmed during the holiday season.

It creeps up, and before you know it, you’re smack in the middle of it. So many obligations, so much on your plate, so many people to please…

With this in mind, I’ve created a series of 3 videos to help you stay sane during the holidays. In this first video I give you tips to conquer overwhelm. Enjoy!

Stay tuned for the next 2 videos — 5 Tips to Overcome Social Anxiety, and 5 Tips to Deal with Family Triggers.

Take good care of yourself. Contact me for guidance in using EFT Tapping to help make life feel easier.

Peace,

Marian

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: Conquer Overwhelm, deep breathing, feeling overwhelmed, Holiday Overwhelm, holiday stress relief, Hydration, Say No, video explanation

Relax & Recharge Tips

December 7, 2018 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

 

During the holiday season, it’s easy to feel depleted, especially if you’re a sensitive person.  At a time that feels stretched and overcrowded with obligations, it’s crucial to relax and recharge.  Here are a few tips to help.

Meditation —Meditation helps change the brain to make it more effective in times of stress.  Find what works for you.  Even 5 minutes at a time will help.

Breathe — Deep breathing, from the belly, helps to stimulate the vagus nerve, and turn on the relaxation response.

Take a Magnesium Salt bath — Magnesium helps relieve tension, and revitalize the body.

Spend Quality Time Alone — Take a quiet-time-alone break, to nurture and nourish yourself.

Listen to peaceful, uplifting music. —  Choose a favorite from your collection. Or, try the Insight Timer app for  a nice variety.

Use the Heart Breath — This will help you get out of a busy mind, into the peace and calm of your heart. To learn how to use this breath, click here.  (Once on this page, scroll down for the heart breath video)

Try EFT Tapping — Tapping on your karate chop, and other points, will help you feel more centered and relaxed. For a complimentary Peace and Calm guided EFT Audio, click here.

Spend Time Outdoors — Soak up the fresh air and natural beauty.

Move — Stretch, exercise, do yoga, go to the gym, dance, walk.  Movement will help you feel more energized and alive.

Eat green — Green vegetables are full of minerals that will help revitalize your system.

Reduce or Limit Caffeine, Refined Carbs, Alcohol — Caffeine will overwork your adrenal glands, making you feel even more tired.  Refined carbohydrates will cause a spike and drop in your blood sugar, draining your energy.  Alcohol is quite depleting.

Get enough sleep — Sleep in a darkened room, with minimal, or no, electronic devices.

Use what works for you.  Weave moments of relaxation throughout your day.  You’re worth it.

In Courage,

Marian

I’ve created some holiday specials on session packages, click here to learn more.

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: deep breathing, heart breath, holiday stress relief, magnesium, meditation, recharge and revitalize, revitalization, Salt Bath

Overcome Social Anxiety– Tips to Make it So Much Easier!

September 27, 2018 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

 

Frequently my clients will talk about feeling anxious when meeting new people, or  participating in social situations.  I understand their anxiety.  And though I still deal with it, I have created ways to overcome it, so I can step into new situations with ease.

Social anxiety can be more acute for sensitive, empathic people. Consistently being attuned to how others are feeling can create a sense of overwhelm and discomfort.  In addition, sensitive people are more apt to worry about what other people think of them. This can easily trigger an ongoing mind-loop of anxious thoughts, which of course will make socializing even more difficult.

The key to overcoming social anxiety, is somewhat paradoxical.  The key is to both detach from what others are thinking, and at the same time, listen completely to what they are saying. 

We can’t ever truly know what a person is thinking.  However, when we listen carefully, we can understand deeply.  And people love to be understood.

Here are the steps which help me overcome my own anxiety:

Positive visualization.  Before the event, I sit down and visualize things going smoothly.  This is an important step, because we’re so often visualizing that things will go poorly. In my visualization I don’t get very detailed.  Instead, I visualize the scene filled with peace, laughter, and joy. I visualize, and sense, how I’d like to feel when I’m there.  This technique is amazingly helpful. It’s gotten me though interviews, corporate talks, workshops I’m hosting, holiday parties, and more.

EFT Tapping. Again, before the event, I do a few rounds of EFT Tapping.  I tune into any anxiety I might be feeling, and I tap.  This helps reduce cortisol, the major stress hormone.  Sometimes only 5 minutes of tapping will do the trick.  For more anxiety-provoking situations I might work on it longer, or get help from another practitioner.

Deep Breathing. Once you get to your event, remember to breathe deeply.  Check in with yourself to make sure you are breathing.  Shallow breathing, up high in your chest, will trigger a sense of stress. Deep breathing, from down in your belly, turns on the relaxation response.

Listen Deeply. When talking with someone at the event, someone you know, or someone you don’t, remember to listen deeply to what they are saying. Most people truly like to talk about themselves. And everyone loves to be heard and understood.  So, rather than stressing about what you should say, relax, and listen.  Drop out of your head, and allow yourself to tap into your intuitive flow.  Ask questions to learn more about the person you’re with.  This will help form a connection, and create an easier flow of communication.

Find Your People. Now, it’s definitely important to step out of your comfort zone to meet new people.  However, if you feel overwhelmed by social anxiety at first, it’s okay to start by spending time with just a few people, or even one person, with whom you feel comfortable.  The goal here, is not to use these people as a crutch, but rather to use deep listening, and question-asking, to help you build your confidence.  Get yourself going, and then step out to meet someone new.

Plan Your Exit – Often times it’s okay to leave early. It’s also okay to excuse yourself for a moment to go outside to get some air. Social events can be over-stimulating for anyone, especially a sensitive person. So, when appropriate, and if needed, plan an early exit. Bring your own car, or agree ahead of time on an exit time with whomever is driving. Just knowing you can leave early will help you relax and enjoy yourself.  And, if you’re truly okay, you might even want to stay longer than you planned.

By following these steps, you will help make socializing will feel easier and easier.  You’ll make a deeper connection with more people, and therefore feel comfortable around more people. You might even begin to crave social events.  I do, even though I still get anxious sometimes.

Need help calming your own social anxiety?  Contact me.

In Courage,

Marian

 

 

 

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: anxiety relief, creative visualization, deep breathing, deep listening, EFT tapping, Empath, sensitive people, social anxiety, Socializing

8 Ways to Find Focus Amidst Chaos

September 18, 2017 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

Lately, I’ve had a hard time staying focused.  With the recent back-to-back hurricanes, fires out west, Mexican earthquakes, ongoing political unrest, global tragedies,  and racial disparity, I’ve found myself dipping more and more into my NY Times app, and social media, for continual updates.

There’s a lot going on in the world.  And, it’s September.  Time to get back to work and back into focus. 

If only it were that easy. 

No matter where you find the chaos, whether it’s in the outside world, inside your home, or within your mind, it can be hard to focus when chaos is all around you. 

I’m a sensitive person, and I often find it very difficult to tune out the chaos.  The sensitive part of me just loves to dive in to fix things.  (Or at least imagine fixing things.)

I have to be quite vigilant with myself, especially during times of chaos and transition, in order to stay on track and focused.  Here some of the techniques I use myself, and which I  share with my clients.

Meditate:  Meditation helps to discipline your mind.  As little as 5 minutes a day, consistently, will help you develop a sense of centered focus.  This is a place you can return to over and over again.  I start each day with either a 20-minute, or hour-long meditation. When I miss a day, I feel off center.  It’s that simple.

Schedule Your Media Visits – Turn off distracting notifications on your cell phone and computer and close your email reader.  Decide upon specific times to look at news, social media, and anything else that pulls you down the rabbit hole.  It’s amazing how easy it is to focus without all those continual electronic interruptions.

Try Focus@will  — I love this service.  Focus@will offers a variety of musical choices designed to help keep you on track.  I listen to it when I write, and when I’m in creation mode.  It really helps. (In fact, I’m listening right now.)  Click here for more info. 

Take breaks –  Take regular breaks to flush out your mind.  Even a 5 minute break can work wonders.  Use this time to take a walk, sit quietly, breathe, dance, stretch, sing, create, or meditate.  This will help you clear your mind from overwhelm, allowing it to focus much more easily.

Set Boundaries –  Set boundaries for yourself.  If you’re a sensitive person like I am, boundaries are absolutely crucial.  It can feel hard to create boundaries, especially if you’re sensitive, but it’s essential for finding focus.  Your boundaries might include: regularly scheduled alone-time, saying no to countless volunteer jobs, clearly communicating how you expect to be treated, and limiting your time around people who drain you.  Setting clear boundaries can be one of the most rejuvenating things you’ll ever do for yourself.

Try EFT Tapping – At the start of a session with some of my clients, we frequently do a round or two of tapping just to help focus the mind.   Tapping will help you clear the fog of an overactive mind, and bring you back into your body. If you’re familiar with the tapping points, tap a few rounds to release distractions, and help yourself feel grounded and centered before you work.  Here’s a diagram of the tapping points. To learn more about EFT Tapping, contact me.

Use Creative Visualization – Just the act of using your mind to visualize something will help bring you into focus.  If, for example, you’d like to focus on a project or task, first visualize it.  Visualize how you would like the experience to unfold.  See yourself as focused, and enjoying your work.  Do this visualization for 2-5 minutes.  Then, start your work.

Use Your Breath – Most times when we’re distracted, we’re actually dissociated, or in a mindless state. This is a perfect time to use deep breathing to help you come back into your body.  As you’re breathing, close your eyes, and watch your breath. Consciously send your breath to all parts of your body.  Allow your breath to bring you back to the present moment, where focus resides.

Let me know how these techniques work for you.  I’d love to know!

In Courage,

Marian

 

 

 

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: boundaries, creative visualization, deep breathing, distractions, EFT for focus, focusing in chaos, meditation, sensitive people, Sensitivity

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What my clients say:

I started working with Marian over four years ago when I was experiencing recurrent miscarriages. It was an extremely vulnerable and traumatic time and I was lucky to find Marian through a friend’s recommendation. I had never done anything besides talk therapy previously and I was unfamiliar with EFT but I knew I needed something different. Marian educated me about EFT and its benefits. She tailored each session to my unique needs depending on what was going on for me emotionally and also used visualizations and breathwork. These are skills that I  also used on my own outside of our sessions. Marian is extremely skilled, grounding, empathetic and insightful. Even when I didn’t know what I needed, she listened and intuitively knew what to do. Her guidance helped me heal and move forward in my quest to be a mother. Our work together has truly been transformative for me and I continue to value our work now that I’m a new mother and am faced with new challenges.

~Susanna

We have been honored to have Marian’s presence at our Company to learn more about stress reducing techniques like tapping and heart breath meditations.  Marian empowered many employees to utilize such an accessible technique to help manage emotions in the corporate setting.

~Zena Kim, Head of Wellness Passion Group, A+E Networks

Thank you so much, Marian!  I have held such appreciation in my heart for you and for the powerful work you have done with me.  I want to come see you for some more matrix reimprinting and EFT.  The more I expand the more I see. And I see more opportunities to release old ways and adopt new patterns that will serve my fullest expression of my soul's journey.

Leslie Goldman, Fine Artist www.wildcherryart.com

 

THANK YOU.  I'm sure you must hear testimonials all the time, but just your presence, voice and spirit make a huge difference in the way I think and do things - and I change! It's really a miracle, and you are the catalyst. Your guidance is invaluable.

~D.G.

Thank you for agreeing to speak at NAO Wellness! I loved hearing your story, it’s so captivating and inspiring.  The feedback from the workshop was amazing – participants said it was transformative, that the energy in the room completely shifted, and more. I was truly blown away, I’m still feeling all the good vibes. You are such a gift.

~ Nikki Ostrower, Founder and Principal Nutritionist at NAO Wellness.

Our session was incredible. I’m still in absolute awe at how quickly you led me to the core issues that were tangling me up. So often I would feel the impact of the inner critical voice on my emotions (I’d FEEL depressed, overwhelmed, stuck, anxious)…but I never knew what the core limiting beliefs exactly were. That you exposed them so effortlessly amazes me. I’m blown away by how good I feel – truly it is like I’m breathing deeper, feeling lighter, clearer– an everyday-kind-of joy just feels so much more accessible right now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your work- I can’t wait to continue further with you!

 ~ Lisa Grace Byrne, MPH  Author of Replenish, Founder of WellGroundedLife.com

Thank you so much for the session yesterday. It’s so freeing to feel grounded and energetically unblocked at the same time. You’ve been such an incredible guide and support this past year. I’m astounded by how much I’ve learned and how far I’ve come.

~Diana F.

The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with nature.

Joseph Campbell
Certified EFT Practitioner

Disclaimer: The information and concepts presented on this website are for educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition. It is not intended to substitute for the advice, treatment and/or diagnosis of a qualified licensed medical professional.

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