clear fear | Marian Buck Murray

Courage Experiment Part 1

May 17, 2017 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

Do not be afraid to experiment - handwriting on a napkin with a cup of espresso coffee

About a month ago I got the idea for a last minute workshop. It was one of those ideas that felt so important, so urgent, so motivating, that I knew I had to do it.

I was recovering from a very long bout of a persistent cough and general malaise. I needed something to pull me out of my slump.

The Courage Experiment promised just what I needed.

As I mentioned, it was last minute. I was determined to offer the workshop in April, and it turned out that the only feasible date was on a Tuesday evening, immediately following the Easter/Passover Holidays.

And just like that, I was faced with one of my persistent fears:

What if NOBODY shows up?

Ugh. My old insecurities cringing at the sight of that one thought.

And that’s exactly when I knew I had to do it. I had to do it because I was afraid. This is, after all, the Courage Experiment. And because it felt so right, I knew I had the drive to do it, no matter who showed up.

I ended up giving the workshop to a lively group of 3 people. More had signed up, but weren’t able to come. It was a wonderful and powerful workshop, and it felt so good to express our fears and our courage in a such a supportive group. (This too, BTW is an experiment with courage — I’m resisting the urge to tell you that my audience was larger. )

I created a handout for the workshop, full of actionable courage-boosting tips. Here, are three of the tips I’m experimenting with now. I’ll be back soon with Part 2, and more tips. (And, I’ll also share the results from my own experiment.)

1. Embrace Your Fear – Ahh. This one can be tricky, but very powerful. Our fear is usually coming from a much younger place within. Embracing this part of yourself will help you feel more supported. So, next time you’re faced with fear, pause to acknowledge your fear and imagine sending love and compassion to your fear. Sometimes just pausing with this intention is enough to release fear. With practice, it becomes habit.

2. Admit to your Fears with a Friend – It can take a lot of courage to admit we’re afraid. Fear loves to hide in secrecy. Sharing your fears with an understanding friend or counselor will usually help dispel some of the fear. Sometimes it just feels so damn good to get it out into the open!

3. Don’t Engage the Drama– By-pass worst-case scenarios. We never know what’s going to happen, so why imagine the scariest possibilities? Fear feeds on drama, and will multiply the more we engage. Practice stepping away from the drama, and imagining better-feeling scenarios.

Remember, the idea here is to EXPERIMENT with these ideas. Courage needs to be nourished and cultivated in order to truly shine.

Contact me if you’d like to learn how to use EFT Tapping To Boost Your Courage.

In Courage,

Marian

4 Steps to Stop Self Sabotage

October 13, 2016 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

How many times have you found yourself halting your dreams midstream? Frustrating, right? I know. I know. If you’re prone to self-sabotage, like I am, things might seem to go awry just before you’re ready to do something bigger and bolder.

It’s tricky and sly, this sabotaging fiend. And sometimes we don’t even know we’re doing it. Coming down with a cold, or getting injured, may seem like an unfortunate coincidence that interrupts your creative flow. But what if it’s not. What if it’s one more way that you’re getting in your own way, and halting your dreams midstream?

Certainly, there are the obvious self-sabotaging habits such as constantly checking your phone when it’s time to work, or watching Netflix instead of writing your blog, or doing the laundry instead of going to that networking meeting you promised to attend. The list is endless.

Self-sabotage shows up everywhere! It includes: procrastination, neglecting your schedule, ‘forgetting’ to respond to emails or phone calls, not speaking up for yourself, not charging enough for your work, and not reaching for bigger opportunities.

Because I’ve caught myself so many times thrashing against the undertow of self-sabotage, I’ve come up with a process to help stop it before it starts.

Here are 4 Steps to Stop Self Sabotage:

Step 1 Clear the Fear.

Plain and simple, we avoid things that feel scary. Get clear about what frightens you about your dreams. Are you scared of rejection? Of failure? Of too much success? Of what other people will think?

First, write down everything that scares you. Next, take your time to focus on one at a time, tuning into the fear that you feel. Sometimes just bringing your fear to light is enough to help it dissipate. Deep breathing, and EFT Tapping will help to reduce the fear.

Step 2 Drop out of Negative Mind Chatter.

Mind chatter is distracting, and will pull you out of focus. When engaged, negative mind chatter can have the power to halt your progress. When you’re feeling down about yourself, it can feel tempting to drop everything and head out for a glass of wine, or a triple mocha latte. The key is to override the negative chatter.

One of my favorite methods to override negative chatter, is using the heart breath. The heart breath is a method of deep breathing in which you imagine you’re breathing through your heart. Your heart’s energy is more powerful than your brain’s, and will help to entrain your brain into a calmer, more productive state. By dropping out of your head, into your heart, you create a sense of overall peace that will help you get back into creative focus.

Click here for a free Heartbreath Meditation.

Step 3 Get Clear.

Often we sabotage ourselves because we’re not clear about what we really want.

It’s hard to feel motivated and productive when we’re working towards goals that aren’t right for us. It may seem like you’re going for your dreams, but maybe there’s something you’re not seeing.

When you feel like you’re getting nowhere, slow down and get clear. Perhaps you can take a different route towards your dream. Perhaps your dream can take on a completely different form, that’s even better. Sometimes we get so stuck in what we think we should do to reach our dreams, that we lose our passion. Passion and clarity is what drives success.

So to get clear, it’s imperative to listen to your heart. You can do this simply by closing your eyes, breathing deeply, and breathing in and out of your heart, as you would for the heart breath. As you’re breathing this way, ask yourself a question about your situation. Ask a question about your next best steps. Allow your heart to answer. Listen to my free training for more tips to get clear.

Step 4 Activate Your Success & Get Into Creative Your Flow

Once you’re feeling calm, clear, and focused, it’s time to take action. Taking small action steps is the best way to increase your motivation to do more. Write down a list of small steps you can take to reach your goals. And start stepping. You will a sense of success and motivation as you complete each step. This feeling will help you go further, and further. Keep adding to your list of actions steps, so you’re consistently activating your success.

Once you’ve got yourself going, it’s time to get into your creative flow. Creative flow happens when you stay with your work. Sometimes we sabotage ourselves by leaving a project when it feels too hard. But, instead of leaving, when we stay with what’s uncomfortable, and allow higher guidance to come through, we are carried through the act of creation.

For more tips to stop self sabotage, listen to my Free Training: 4 Steps to Stop Self Sabotage and Ignite Your Success.

In Courage,

Marian

Providence

February 12, 2016 by Marian Buck-Murray 2 Comments

Orange section I got up at 4:00 a.m., before my alarm clock sounded. I had worried that I would oversleep, and miss the first of two trains I had to take that day. I was on my way to Providence RI, for a mini-working-retreat with coach Jeannie Spiro and my fellow Expansion Club Members.

Just as I was leaving my house for the 5 a.m. train to NYC, I noticed the clock: 4:44. I’ve heard many times, 444 means angels are all around. I was thankful for the synchronicity.

I mentioned this to my husband as he drove me to the station. “Why is it only at 4:44 when they’re with you?” he asked. “What about the rest of the time?”

“Oh, it’s just a reminder that they’re always here.” I replied.

4:44 on my way to Providence. Angels were with me. I was happy for the reminder.

When I arrived at Penn Station I grabbed a celebratory latte from Starbucks, and waited until it was time to board the 6:20 Amtrak.

Then, after storing my suitcase in the overhead compartment, I slid exhausted into my seat. The man across the aisle had offered to help with my baggage, but I politely declined. As short as I am, I’m determined to reach without out help. That perpetual drive to ‘do it myself.’

About 30 minutes into the trip, I felt hungry, and pulled an orange from my purse. Organic and delicious. I broke the orange into sections. I bit into a piece. Mmm, nice and juicy.

Then, as I swallowed, a piece of orange lodged at the back of my throat. I tried to cough it out, but no luck.

It was at that moment that I realized I could barely breathe.

The man across the aisle heard my cough. “Do you need help?” he asked.

Nodding yes, I got up from my seat, and stood in the aisle. He moved behind me, and performed the Heimlich maneuver.

And just like that, I coughed the piece of orange out into my hand. My throat was clear.

“Thank you,” I said. “Thank you.” And I sank back down into my seat. “Thank you.”

Now wary of my once-delicious orange, I threw it away. I sipped at my luke-warm latte, wondering about what had just happened. Though I had been startled, I now felt a strange sense of overall calm. The man across the aisle glanced over at me, watching me with concern, before he finally leaned back and fell asleep.

He got off in New Haven. “Thank you again.” I smiled as he looked to say goodbye.

“What a way to start the day!” he smiled back.

It wasn’t until a day or two later that I understood what had truly happened.

My friend, Tina Walsh, creator of the Journey Through the Chakras Program, listened with wide eyes as I told her my story. We were with our retreat-mates, enjoying drinks and hors d’oeuvres at the hotel bar.

“You choked?” she said.

“Well, yeah, almost, but he cleared it.” I replied.

“That’s your throat chakra, honey. He cleared your throat chakra, Marian.” Tina exclaimed, grabbing her throat.

My throat chakra, I thought. Of course. It’s what I’m all about. Helping people clear the fear that keeps them hiding their truth. The fact that I’ve had my own intimate struggles with speaking my truth is the very reason I feel so passionate about the work that I do.

“Okay. This makes sense. But why an orange? What could that possibly mean?” I asked.

“The color orange, my dear, symbolizes your second chakra.” Tina laughed.

“Of course!” I said, slapping my forehead, “Couldn’t be any more obvious.”

So now I saw what I was clearly meant to see. My second chakra, the seat of my creative energy, had been cleared. My throat chakra, the seat of truthful expression, had also been cleared.

The guidance was loud and clear:

Clear the path for truthful, creative expression.

It’s what I do when I work with my clients with EFT Tapping. It’s what I’m meant to do. It’s what my heart desires, both for me, and for the clients I serve.

Angels truly were with me that day on the train. Divine protection, divine guidance, on my way to Providence.

Peace,

Marian

To apply for a free 30-Minute Unleash Your Creative Genius Clarity call, where we’ll discuss what’s blocking your path, click here.