Marian Buck Murray

EFT and Matrix Reimprinting for Sensitive, Empathic, Creative People. Step out of the shadows and share your gifts and talents.

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4 Steps to Stop Self Sabotage

October 13, 2016 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

depositphotos_64636811_s-2015

How many times have you found yourself halting your dreams midstream? Frustrating, right?  I know.  I know.   If you’re prone to self-sabotage, like I am, things might seem to go awry just before you’re ready to do something bigger and bolder.

It’s tricky and sly, this sabotaging fiend.   And sometimes we don’t even know we’re doing it.  Coming down with a cold, or getting injured, may seem like an unfortunate coincidence that interrupts your creative flow.  But what if it’s not.  What if it’s one more way that you’re getting in your own way, and halting your dreams midstream?

Certainly, there are the obvious self-sabotaging habits such as constantly checking your phone when it’s time to work, or watching Netflix instead of writing your blog, or doing the laundry instead of going to that networking meeting you promised to attend.  The list is endless.

Self-sabotage shows up everywhere!  It includes:  procrastination, neglecting your schedule, ‘forgetting’ to respond to emails or phone calls, not speaking up for yourself, not charging enough for your work, and not reaching for bigger opportunities.

Because I’ve caught myself so many times thrashing against the undertow of self-sabotage, I’ve come up with a process to help stop it before it starts.

Here are 4 Steps to Stop Self Sabotage:

Step 1 Clear the Fear.

Plain and simple, we avoid things that feel scary.  Get clear about what frightens you about your dreams.  Are you scared of rejection?  Of failure?  Of too much success?  Of what other people will think?

First, write down everything that scares you.  Next, take your time to focus on one at a time, tuning into the fear that you feel.  Sometimes just bringing your fear to light is enough to help it dissipate.  Deep breathing, and EFT Tapping will help to reduce the fear.

Step 2  Drop out of Negative Mind Chatter.

Mind chatter is distracting, and will pull you out of focus.  When engaged, negative mind chatter can have the power to halt your progress.  When you’re feeling down about yourself, it can feel tempting to drop everything and head out for a glass of wine, or a triple mocha latte.  The key is to override the negative chatter.

One of my favorite methods to override negative chatter, is using the heart breath.  The heart breath is a method of deep breathing in which you imagine you’re breathing through your heart.  Your heart’s energy is more powerful than your brain’s, and will help to entrain your brain into a calmer, more productive state.  By dropping out of your head, into your heart, you create a sense of overall peace that will help you get back into creative focus.

Click here for a free Heartbreath Meditation.

Step 3 Get Clear.

Often we sabotage ourselves because we’re not clear about what we really want. 

It’s hard to feel motivated and productive when we’re working towards goals that aren’t right for us.  It may seem like you’re going for your dreams, but maybe there’s something you’re not seeing.

When you feel like you’re getting nowhere, slow down and get clear. Perhaps you can take a different route towards your dream.  Perhaps your dream can take on a completely different form, that’s even better.  Sometimes we get so stuck in what we think we should do to reach our dreams, that we lose our passion.  Passion and clarity is what drives success.

So to get clear, it’s imperative to listen to your heart.  You can do this simply by closing your eyes, breathing deeply, and breathing in and out of your heart, as you would for the heart breath.  As you’re breathing this way, ask yourself a question about your situation. Ask a question about your next best steps.  Allow your heart to answer.  Listen to my free training for more tips to get clear.

Step 4  Activate Your Success & Get Into Creative Your Flow

Once you’re feeling calm, clear, and focused, it’s time to take action.  Taking small action steps is the best way to increase your motivation to do more.  Write down a list of small steps you can take to reach your goals.  And start stepping.  You will a sense of success and motivation as you complete each step. This feeling will help you go further, and further.  Keep adding to your list of actions steps, so you’re consistently activating your success.

Once you’ve got yourself going, it’s time to get into your creative flow.  Creative flow happens when you stay with your work.  Sometimes we sabotage ourselves by leaving a project when it feels too hard.  But, instead of leaving, when we stay with what’s uncomfortable, and allow higher guidance to come through, we are carried through the act of creation.

For more tips to stop self sabotage, listen to my Free Training:  4 Steps to Stop Self Sabotage and Ignite Your Success.

In Courage,

Marian

 

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: clarity, clear fear, creative flow, dreams, EFT tapping, heart breath, heart breath audio, online training, self sabotage, stop self sabotage

Unloop the Mind Chatter Loop

May 21, 2016 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

A cassette tape has been destroyed and the tape unraveled.

That trusty mind-chatter loop, you can always count on it to remind you about what you haven’t done, what’s wrong with your life, your body, your finances, and anything else that could possibly worry you.

It’s sneaky, convincing, sometimes outright manipulative.  It will do anything, and everything, to win the grand prize of controlling your every thought and action.  It will spin you down dark spirals, it will keep you hiding from opportunities, it will deny you your peace of mind.

Many clients tell me it visits them at night.   That’s its favorite time.  That window of time when we lie captive in the dark, the mind-loop swells ominous.  Mine tends to show up right before it’s time to get up for the day — trying to scare me back to sleep.

What’s important to realize is that the mind loop is truly all in your head.  It’s the ego/brain’s way of keeping us safe, in its own strange way.

The problem is, when you’re stuck in a mind loop, your mind is not free to access helpful information or solutions.  When your mind is wrapped around what’s wrong…. that’s all it sees.  It cannot see anything else.  Un-loop your mind, and you will see the possibilities.  You will see the solutions you never knew were there.

Here are some suggestions to unloop the mind-loop.

Write — Use writing to move looping thoughts out of your head. Write  your to-do list into a notebook which you can refer to on a daily basis.  Keep a journal to do a morning or evening mind-dump.  Write solutions to problems.  Write down your dreams and goals. Refer to them on a regular basis to build and refine.  Once you move anything out of your head it’s easier manage.

Get Physical–  A mind-loop will keep you spinning in your head.  Do something physical, to move back into your body.  Take a walk.  Jump up and down.  Exercise.  The goal is to  focus on the physical activity, and the feelings in your body.

Sit Quietly —  Close your eyes, and  breath slowly and deeply.  Notice how you feel.  Watch your breath as it flows in and out of your body.  Notice any thoughts, without judging or engaging with them.  Sit quietly, breathing deeply, for as long as you like.

Do the Heart Breath — Similar to quiet sitting, with the Heart Breath, you imagine that you’re breathing in and out of your heart.  Breathing this way for a few minutes will help you drop out of your mind, and into your heart. Click here to download my Heart Breath Meditation.

EFT Tapping — EFT Tapping is a powerful way to clear a persistent mind-loop.  Tapping helps to dismantle neural pathways that keep us stuck in habitual negative patterns. If you’re familiar with EFT, use it to tap on your feelings about specific aspects of the mind-loop.  For example, use it to tap on your feelings of anxiety about the project you haven’t started.  Once you begin to clear the anxiety, new solutions will begin to appear.   Click here to learn more about EFT Tapping.

In Courage,

Marian

To apply for a free 30-Minute Unleash Your Courage Call, click here.

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: Clear Mind, EFT tapping, heart breath audio, meditation, mind loop, writing

Time To Bloom!

April 18, 2016 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

Beautiful pink tulip isolated on white background

It takes courage to bloom. Courage to expand and grow into new expressions of ourselves.  These suggestions, based on a flower’s natural rhythm and needs, will help you find the strength and courage to bloom

  1. Warm up. Spring flowers will not grow unless it’s warm enough outside.  A cold snap will kill them. Don’t expect to go from cold to full bloom.  Warming up is what enables us to endure, and enjoy, the road ahead.  Warm up to your dreams. Ease into new experiences. Strengthen your skills by stretching your creative muscles.  Add warmth to your environment with supportive people, and encouraging thoughts.
  1. Soften your soil. Just as hard rocky soil impedes plant growth, being hard on yourself will impede your desired growth. Soften your approach to yourself.  Understand that growth of any kind needs acceptance of where you are right now.  It’s from this softened place of acceptance that you’ll be able to take the steps that will lead you to your dreams.
  1. Clear out the weeds and pests. A garden clogged with weeds, and ravaged by pests, will never grow to its full splendor. Pesky negative mind chatter will clog your mind, making it impossible to think clearly about your next steps. Doubts and worries will squash your ability to create your desired experiences.  Releasing mind chatter will help you clear the way to your heart’s desires.  EFT tapping is a perfect way to clear the out negative mind chatter.  Contact me to learn more.

For a guided Heart Breath audio, to help you drop out of your head, and into your heart, click here.

  1. Nourish your Environment. Nutrient-rich soil, fertilizer, water, and sun all help nourish a healthy garden.  Julia Cameron, Author of the Artists Way, recommends regular artist dates with yourself in order to nourish your creative juices.  Julia tells students to “fill the well” with activities that inspire and empassion.  Nourish your home and work environments as well, with elements that speak to your own unique expression.
  1. Allow ample space. Just as flowers and trees need space between them – your dreams and desires need space as well.  Give yourself that space.  Allow quiet, undistracted pockets of time to meditate, envision, create, and nurture your dreams.

Ready to clear out the pesky negative thoughts and beliefs that are blocking your success?  Click here to schedule a free 30-Minute Unleash Your Creative Genius call.

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: blooming, Courage, desires, dreams, EFT tapping, heart breath audio, self expression

The Real Reason You’re Stuck

February 1, 2016 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

small cat stuck in a tree
Stuck in Fear

Truth be told, I’m the queen of stuck. I’ve been stuck so many times, so many ways, it’s amazing I’m even writing this blog.

It sucks to be stuck.

I judge it, I hate it, I call it bad.

But stuck is stuck for a reason.  There’s always something there.

When I’m stuck,  and I manage to stop judging myself,  I usually notice a bunch of uncomfortable feelings and beliefs simmering just beneath the surface.

So often it boils down to fear.

Fear of not knowing what to do. Fear of doing the wrong thing. Fear of mistakes. Fear of rejection. Fear that I won’t have what it takes. And that old persistent fear of shining.

It’s when I stop to listen to my feelings that I can take steps to release them.

That’s when I use EFT Tapping, or Heart Breath, or guided visualization, to help me clear old patterns of fear and restriction.

When I clear what holds me back, I feel free to move forward.

Next time you feel stuck, take a moment to go inside, and notice what you’re feeling. Notice what you’re telling yourself. Notice what seems to be in your way.

Once you’re clear about what’s going on inside, use a technique such as EFT, or work with an EFT Practitioner, or therapist,  to clear unwanted feelings and beliefs.

When you’re clear of old stuck emotions and limiting patterns, you’ll feel much more confident, and inspired, to move forward.

Marian

Click here for a complimentary Heart Breath Audio.

Click here to apply for a complimentary 30-Minute Unleash Your Creative Genius Clarity Call.

 

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: EFT for Fear, EFT tapping, Fear, feeling stuck, Getting Unstuck, guided visuaization, heart breath, heart breath audio, reasons for being stuck, stuck emotions, stuck feelings

When It Gets Hectic, Get Centered

December 11, 2015 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

Japanese zen garden with stacked stones and orchid flower

When things get hectic, I know how easy it is to get thrown off balance.   And when I’m off balance, everything feels harder.

It’s those times when it’s really hard to stay centered, that I know I need to pay more attention to my self care. No matter how hectic things feel, or how little time I believe I have.

It’s a struggle, sometimes, when I would just just rather zone out. But it’s the practice that brings me back to center, every time.  And it’s this practice that helps me keep my peace.

Here’s a quick list of helpful centering practices– I use a combination of some or all each day.

Morning Meditation — A silent meditation, a guided one, or one with music such as Wayne Dyer’s I AM Wishes Fulfilled.  15-20 minutes.

Morning Pages — Three handwritten pages, free-flow, before breakfast.

Nature Walk — As little as 15 minutes can do wonders for a scattered mind.

Yoga —  Helps strengthen, center, and unite your body, mind and spirit.  Even a short warm-up routine can be enough to keep you centered throughout your day.

Spring Dragon Tea — Made from the herb gynostemma, this tea is perfect for boosting stress relief and focused energy.  Manufactured by Ron Teeguarden’s Dragon Herbs.

Afternoon Still Time — Quiet time, with no distractions, except maybe a book. Or perhaps even a 15-20 minute snooze.  Wonderful for clearing and rejuvenating a busy mind.

Evening Inspirational Reading or Listening — So helpful for those truly stressful days.  Tuning into inspirational authors, poets, speakers, and musicians is a soothing way to come back to a place of centered calm.

Evening Tapping — A quick round of tapping, at the end of the day, helps me clear away distracting residue.  For an illustrated description of the tapping points, click here.

Heart Breath — One of my favorite ways to get out of my head and into my heart. This technique involves deep breathing, and uses the heart’s energy to calm your busy mind.  Click here for a short heart breath audio meditation.

So here’s the deal.  It might feel hard to commit to even a couple of these suggestions.  But do it any way. It will make all the difference to help you stay centered, and happy, especially in hectic times.

Be Well,

Marian

Click here to apply for a free, 30-Minute Unleash Your Creative Genius Clarity Call.

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: centering practices, EFT tapping, heart breath, heart breath audio, hectic times, meditation, Spring Dragon Tea, stress relief, Wayne Dyer Wishes Fulfilled Meditation, yoga

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What my clients say:

The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with nature.

Joseph Campbell
Certified EFT Practitioner

Disclaimer: The information and concepts presented on this website are for educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition. It is not intended to substitute for the advice, treatment and/or diagnosis of a qualified licensed medical professional.

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