Journaling | Marian Buck Murray

As we approach summer, we’re called to lighten up. Lighter clothing, lighter bedding, lighter foods. And sometimes, a lighter workload. You know the drill. We loosen and lighten up, in order to celebrate the freedom of the season. Time to let go of the same-old, same-old, and welcome in something fresh.

When we’re weighed down by the past, it’s difficult (or impossible) to feel lively, happy and free. Unprocessed limiting beliefs, hurts and resentments interfere with our daily lives. Sometimes it can feel like ground hog’s day, every day. The same pattern, the same routine, on continual repeat.

When old patterns don’t change, or new plans don’t hold, there’s usually something from the past that’s holding us back. Processing old pain and outdated beliefs is key to shifting limiting patterns.

Following are some ideas to lighten your load:

Resentment – Take a look at where resentment shows up in your life. Old, festering resentments can impede the success of meaningful relationships. Even when the resentment has nothing to do with the people involved.

Acknowledging that you feel resentment is the first step in letting go. You might find it hard to admit to resentment because you think you’re wrong to feel it. Yet, resentment is very common. It arises from being wronged or hurt, and/or feeling helpless to change your experience. The resulting disappointment, anger, and frustration, if not processed, will contribute to feelings of resentment. Ongoing resentment will affect the way you communicate and relate with others.

Letting go of resentment will help you create more peace and joy in your relationships. Meditation, EFT tapping, therapy and forgiveness practices such as ho’oponopono are powerful tools to help you loosen the grip of resentment. Try what works best for you.

Outdated Beliefs – It’s the beliefs that we don’t even question which are often the most outdated. Though these beliefs might have nothing to do with our current circumstances, they can impact them in a negative way. We hold fast to outdated beliefs because they’re what we’ve always believed. For example, beliefs formed in childhood, such as ‘I’m not wanted’, or ‘I’ll never be good enough’, will exert enormous pressure on our lives. We keep on believing the falsehoods – despite mountains of evidence to prove otherwise

Observe your beliefs, no matter what they are. Determine which ones are worth keeping, and which ones hinder your growth. With each, look to the past to see where, and from whom, the belief might have originated. Create a list of beliefs you’d rather have, and look to role models for evidence that these new beliefs are indeed possible.

Explore practices such as meditation, journaling, affirmations, EFT tapping, coaching, or therapy. These tools will help you release outdated beliefs, and reinforce new beneficial beliefs. Create a system that works for you.

Resistance – Resistance yields resistance. It builds, and it builds, until it feels like an insurmountable wall. Often, the resistance is far more intense than whatever we’re resisting.

Resistance feeds upon fear, and the stories we tell ourselves. Acknowledging that resistance is a collection of feelings and thoughts, and not the thing you’re resisting, is a first step in moving beyond it.

Next, looking deeper into the nature of your resistance will make it easier to resolve. For example, is there fear that something will be too hard? Or that you will feel vulnerable in an unwanted way? Or that you will be rejected, criticized, embarrassed, hurt, or overwhelmed? Deeper understanding will help lead you out of resistance.

Proceed with an encouraging, non-judgemental mind. Keep your eye on the prize, and focus on how you’ll feel when you take action. Take a step, and then another, to build your momentum. Happily, resistance often disappears once you’re actually doing what you were resisting.

In addition, of course, meditation, EFT Tapping, movement, coaching, and therapy, will all assist you in moving forward.

Emotional heaviness zaps vitality, and squashes any sense of true freedom. Resentment, outdated beliefs, and resistance will drag you down. Period. Try some of the tools mentioned in this blog, or any others that work for you, to lighten your load.

Release your way forward into more happiness, peace, and joy.

Peace,

Marian

It happens. You make a decision. It feels right. It feels good. Then 30 minutes later, doubt creeps into your mind. No, you think, this is the wrong decision. There are so many reasons why this is the wrong decision. Back and forth you go. Yes. No. Yes. No.

Inner conflict is no fun. It can be confusing and cause us to shut down. Often, when we can’t make a clear decision, it feels better to do nothing at all. Sometimes this is the right solution. Sometimes it’s not. What’s important, however, is to look closely at the inner conflict.

Inner conflict occurs when two or more parts, or shadows, want control. Typically, each will have a different goal. One might be the adventurer, eager to go out and explore. Another might be the worrier, who wants to stay safe, and hidden. Still another might be pestering the adventurer to take part in risky behavior.

These shadow parts often get triggered when confronted with life’s stressors and big decision. When triggered, they can throw us into a flurry of self doubt and second guessing. As they pull us back and forth, they show us the places where we need healing. Until these shadow parts are healed, they will continue to get triggered, and seek control during times of stress.

Inner conflict calls for conflict resolution. Without it, it’s hard to make progress. It’s a matter of helping our frightened parts feel safe, supported, and empowered. It also means helping the more critical, pushy parts to feel content with what’s most beneficial for us.

In order to resolve inner conflict, we must start with curiosity, acceptance, introspection, and commitment. It’s about listening to the shadow parts which are influencing our lives. Which ones win most often? Which ones are pushed aside? Which ones are unduly influenced by other people’s opinions?

Conflict resolution means listening to all sides, and doing the work to create consensus. Sometimes, this work is best done with a healing professional.

When we resolve our own personal conflicts, we bring clarity to our challenges and decisions. We find beneficial solutions. We create a sense of inner strength and unity. This helps us build confidence, momentum, and inner peace. It’s well worth it!

Helpful Practices for Resolving Inner Conflict Include:

Meditation – With meditation, you can train yourself to notice the differing thoughts and feelings which arise during your practice. This will help illuminate conflicts to address.

Journaling – Use writing to dialogue with conflicting parts. Ask questions. Get to know your inner shadow parts — their motives, goals, fears, and dreams. Ask what they need in order to resolve conflict.

Heart Breath – The Heart Breath helps you drop out of a conflicted mind, into the peace of your heart. Using this breath will help you clarify true priorities and desires. To download a free Mp3 of my guided Heart Breath, enter your information in the box to the right of this post. Or, listen to it on Insight Timer.

EFT Tapping – EFT Tapping is helpful for releasing the emotions associated with triggered shadow parts. To learn more about EFT Tapping, contact me.

Matrix Reimprinting – This technique facilitates a deep connection with shadow parts, in order to help transform outdated beliefs and pent-up feelings. To learn more about Matrix Reimprinting, contact me.

May you find peaceful resolution for all of your conflicts.

Peace,

Marian

Lighten Your Load

Resolve Inner Conflict