It happens. You make a decision. It feels right. It feels good. Then 30 minutes later, doubt creeps into your mind. No, you think, this is the wrong decision. There are so many reasons why this is the wrong decision. Back and forth you go. Yes. No. Yes. No.
Inner conflict is no fun. It can be confusing and cause us to shut down. Often, when we can’t make a clear decision, it feels better to do nothing at all. Sometimes this is the right solution. Sometimes it’s not. What’s important, however, is to look closely at the inner conflict.
Inner conflict occurs when two or more parts, or shadows, want control. Typically, each will have a different goal. One might be the adventurer, eager to go out and explore. Another might be the worrier, who wants to stay safe, and hidden. Still another might be pestering the adventurer to take part in risky behavior.
These shadow parts often get triggered when confronted with life’s stressors and big decision. When triggered, they can throw us into a flurry of self doubt and second guessing. As they pull us back and forth, they show us the places where we need healing. Until these shadow parts are healed, they will continue to get triggered, and seek control during times of stress.
Inner conflict calls for conflict resolution. Without it, it’s hard to make progress. It’s a matter of helping our frightened parts feel safe, supported, and empowered. It also means helping the more critical, pushy parts to feel content with what’s most beneficial for us.
In order to resolve inner conflict, we must start with curiosity, acceptance, introspection, and commitment. It’s about listening to the shadow parts which are influencing our lives. Which ones win most often? Which ones are pushed aside? Which ones are unduly influenced by other people’s opinions?
Conflict resolution means listening to all sides, and doing the work to create consensus. Sometimes, this work is best done with a healing professional.
When we resolve our own personal conflicts, we bring clarity to our challenges and decisions. We find beneficial solutions. We create a sense of inner strength and unity. This helps us build confidence, momentum, and inner peace. It’s well worth it!
Helpful Practices for Resolving Inner Conflict Include:
Meditation – With meditation, you can train yourself to notice the differing thoughts and feelings which arise during your practice. This will help illuminate conflicts to address.
Journaling – Use writing to dialogue with conflicting parts. Ask questions. Get to know your inner shadow parts — their motives, goals, fears, and dreams. Ask what they need in order to resolve conflict.
Heart Breath – The Heart Breath helps you drop out of a conflicted mind, into the peace of your heart. Using this breath will help you clarify true priorities and desires. To download a free Mp3 of my guided Heart Breath, enter your information in the box to the right of this post. Or, listen to it on Insight Timer.
EFT Tapping – EFT Tapping is helpful for releasing the emotions associated with triggered shadow parts. To learn more about EFT Tapping, contact me.
Matrix Reimprinting – This technique facilitates a deep connection with shadow parts, in order to help transform outdated beliefs and pent-up feelings. To learn more about Matrix Reimprinting, contact me.
May you find peaceful resolution for all of your conflicts.
Peace,
Marian
Centering, it’s what we need more of right now. The holiday season is full of distractions, pulling us here, pulling us there. Top it off with a contentious election season, and the seemingly non-stop series of tumultuous events — it can feel nearly impossible to stay centered, calm, and relaxed.