Marian Buck Murray

EFT and Matrix Reimprinting for Sensitive, Empathic, Creative People. Step out of the shadows and share your gifts and talents.

Bad Day? Try This.

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I’ve had a few of ‘those’ days lately.  You know, those days when nothing seems to go right.  From problems with my computer and email, to issues with my mother’s care, and so on.  And then of course, occasionally, there are disappointments I face as a self-employed person.  When too many glitches combine at the same time, it can make a day feel utterly horrible.

What’s important, on a day like that, is to avoid sliding into a punishing rabbit hole. That place that beckons when things feel their worst.  That place that blames, shames, and tells us how wrong we are.  And then, sternly reminds us that nothing will work out.  It’s a truly awful place to be.

In my opinion, the descent into the rabbit hole serves only to add salt to the wound.  It’s bad enough to have things go wrong.  To add punishment and shame on top, is especially cruel.  So if you do find yourself in the rabbit hole, be kind to yourself, and know that there are ways to find stable ground again.

Here are some ways you can help lift yourself to a better feeling place.

Pause.  Pause and look around.  Pause to notice how you feel about what is happening.  Do what you can to help yourself relieve your feelings.  Try some EFT tapping.  Take a walk outside.  Call a friend.  The goal here is to interrupt your thought pattern, release, and refresh.  This will help you re-engage with more clarity.

Ask.  What is here for me to learn?  What ‘s one thing I can do to help myself right now?  What can I do differently which will help in the future? Who can I ask for help?  What matters most right now? What can I let go of?  How can I see this situation differently?  Asking questions will open your mind to additional solutions and possibilities.

Look.  Look around to notice what’s going right.  Look for something you can accomplish right now.  Look for others who have succeeded in similar circumstances.  Look at what you’re already doing successfully.   Noticing success will enable you to create success more easily.

Encourage Yourself.  Remind yourself of times you’ve gotten through tough situations.  Tell yourself that you can get through this.  Assure yourself that you’ve got what it takes to move forward, even if it’s a baby step.  Above all, be compassionate with yourself.  Compassion and encouragement will empower you to do what’s most beneficial.

The goal here is to get to a better feeling place.  A place where you feel more confident and hopeful.  A place where you feel inspired to take action.  It’s here where you will find the energy to move forward.

My best wishes for your success in whatever you’re facing right now.

Peace,

Marian

For a tapping video to help you through a bad day, click here.

Procrastination: What’s it really about?

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If you ever feel frustrated with your own procrastination, I know the feeling.  Procrastination can be very seductive, and it might feel impossible to resist. Whether it shows up as busy work, succumbing to addictive distractions, or doing nothing at all, it can be a mighty fearsome beast.

As if the results of procrastination weren’t punishing enough, we top it off by beating ourselves up. We say things like:  I’m so lazy.  I never get anything done.  I’ll never get ahead… so why bother?  It won’t work anyway.  I’m such a screw-up.  All of this feels pretty crappy, to say the least.

So what to do when the to-do list feels too hard to accomplish?  Or when you don’t have a clue of what to do.  Maybe you know what you ‘should’ do, but it’s the last thing you want to do. Perhaps you feel like there’s far too much to do, so why even try. 

There are many reasons we use to justify procrastination. Some might be completely justified.  Yet, ongoing procrastination will hold us hostage until we do something about it.

What I’ve found, is that procrastination is seldom solely about the willpower to accomplish more.  Sure, some of our habits might look like a lazy lack of willpower.  Yet, typically, somewhere underneath it all, there’s fear. Fear that might be hiding, or perhaps camouflaged, but strong enough to keep us stuck in procrastination.

The most common of these fears include:  Making a mistake. Being rejected. Shining too brightly. Being incompetent.  Not being enough.  Being too much.  And so on.

What I suggest, when you feel stuck in procrastination, is to proceed with compassionate for yourself.  Beating yourself up will only serve to make you feel worse.  This, of course, can lead to even more procrastination. Or, a flurry of over-activity, followed with a backlash of procrastination. (I’ve done it all…)

What if procrastination is actually a call to look more deeply within. 

What if it’s a call to ask ourselves, what’s triggering me? What am I afraid of? What do I believe about myself? What do I believe about the tasks at hand?  Asking questions is what helps us clarify our blocks and limiting perceptions.

So, once we find our blocks and limiting beliefs — what’s next? 

I highly recommend using EFT Tapping as a tool overcome the emotions and beliefs which underlie procrastination.  Meditation, matrix reimprinting, somatic work, journaling, and/or reaching out to a healing professional are very helpful as well.  Combine your preferred tools and resources to begin resolving the inner conflict which keeps you stuck. I truly believe that until we resolve the issues plaguing us from within, we can only go so far in life.

What I suggest, is to proceed one step at a time. Sometimes the to-do list might look unwieldy. Impossible, perhaps.  Yet, starting with one small action will help build momentum.  Start with one doable task from your list.  Add to that an underlying fear, and use tapping, meditation, or your preferred method, to help it release.

It’s important to take action towards both the tasks that need doing and the limiting beliefs and feelings.  Doing one will help build momentum with the other.  For example, accomplishing a task will help you feel better about yourself, and diminish fear.  Releasing fear and limiting beliefs will enable you get more done.

Start where you are.  Start with something.  Start with one action, one fear.  Build momentum, and go from there.

Here’s to your success!

Peace,

Marian

For a Tapping Video to Help  You Get It Done, Click Here.

Need help getting unstuck? I’m here to help. Reach out.

Resolve Inner Conflict

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It happens.  You make a decision.  It feels right.  It feels good.  Then 30 minutes later, doubt creeps into your mind.  No, you think, this is the wrong decision.  There are so many reasons why this is the wrong decision.  Back and forth you go.  Yes. No. Yes. No. 

Inner conflict is no fun.  It can be confusing and cause us to shut down. Often, when we can’t make a clear decision, it feels better to do nothing at all. Sometimes this is the right solution.  Sometimes it’s not. What’s important, however, is to look closely at the inner conflict.

Inner conflict occurs when two or more parts, or shadows, want control.  Typically, each will have a different goal.  One might be the adventurer, eager to go out and explore.  Another might be the worrier, who wants to stay safe, and hidden.  Still another might be pestering the adventurer to take part in risky behavior.

These shadow parts often get triggered when confronted with life’s stressors and big decision. When triggered, they can throw us into a flurry of self doubt and second guessing.  As they pull us back and forth, they show us the places where we need healing.  Until these shadow parts are healed, they will continue to get triggered, and seek control during times of stress.

Inner conflict calls for conflict resolution.  Without it, it’s hard to make progress. It’s a matter of helping our frightened parts feel safe, supported, and empowered.  It also means helping the more critical, pushy parts to feel content with what’s most beneficial for us.

In order to resolve inner conflict, we must start with curiosity, acceptance, introspection, and commitment.  It’s about listening to the shadow parts which are influencing our lives. Which ones win most often?  Which ones are pushed aside?  Which ones are unduly influenced by other people’s opinions? 

Conflict resolution means listening to all sides, and doing the work to create consensus. Sometimes, this work is best done with a healing professional.  

When we resolve our own personal conflicts, we bring clarity to our challenges and decisions.  We find beneficial solutions.  We create a sense of inner strength and unity. This helps us build confidence, momentum, and inner peace.  It’s well worth it!

Helpful Practices for Resolving Inner Conflict Include:

Meditation – With meditation, you can train yourself to notice the differing thoughts and feelings which arise during your practice.  This will help illuminate conflicts to address.

Journaling – Use writing to dialogue with conflicting parts.  Ask questions.  Get to know your inner shadow parts — their motives, goals, fears, and dreams.  Ask what they need in order to resolve conflict.

Heart Breath – The Heart Breath helps you drop out of a conflicted mind, into the peace of your heart.  Using this breath will help you clarify true priorities and desires. To download a free Mp3 of my guided Heart Breath, enter your information in the box to the right of this post.  Or, listen to it on Insight Timer.

EFT Tapping – EFT Tapping is helpful for releasing the emotions associated with triggered shadow parts.  To learn more about EFT Tapping, contact me. 

Matrix Reimprinting – This technique facilitates a deep connection with shadow parts, in order to help transform outdated beliefs and pent-up feelings. To learn more about Matrix Reimprinting, contact me.

May you find peaceful resolution for all of your conflicts.

Peace,

Marian

EFT Tapping for Anxiety Relief

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Anxiety is no fun.  At all.  Anxiety, in fact, diminishes brain function.

No doubt you’ve noticed that it’s harder to articulate clearly when you’re feeling anxious or stressed.  That’s because cortisol, when high, triggers blood loss from the ‘thinking’ part of the brain.  Cortisol is a major stress hormone, and anti-inflammatory, however when diverted for anxiety, it can wreak havoc on our body-mind.

When it comes to reducing both anxiety and inflammation,  EFT Tapping is one of my absolute favorite tools.  In addition, turmeric is an anti-inflammatory superstar, and has been shown to be helpful for anxiety!  Learn more about this beautiful golden gem.

Here, in this video, I share a sample EFT Tapping round to help you release anxiety.  Before you start, find a comfortable space, and have a glass of water nearby.  Enjoy!

(HEALTH & WELLNESS UPDATE:  As EFT involves touching your face, wash your hands vigorously with soap and water for at least 20 seconds, or use hand sanitizer,  before beginning. If you prefer, you can also vary the points by using only the points on torso and hand.)

And, as always, reach out if you’d like personal guidance in EFT Tapping.

Peace,

Marian