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Stay With Yourself — Be Here Now

August 21, 2019 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

I just got back from a beautiful week at the Omega Institute, assisting Dawson Church with the EFT Practitioner Training program. Throughout the week, we helped participants transform limiting feelings and beliefs with both EFT Tapping and meditation. It was a transformative, and in many ways miraculous, week for us all.

What became so clear to me (once again), is the importance of accepting all feelings, no matter how uncomfortable. It’s in the acceptance of these feelings, that we are able to transform our experience.

In this world of ours, so often it’s the striving that takes front seat. How, for example, will we succeed if we don’t strive for more? And more? And more? And so often, once we get ‘more’, we don’t feel the success we imagined.

The problem with striving is that we’re frequently propelled by a feeling that we’re not enough, or complete, without whatever it is we’re striving for. You know the refrain: I’ll be happy when___________.

The underlying feeling of inadequacy will follow us, until we find a way to stay with it long enough to transform it.

To stay with yourself, to be here now, means to be present with whatever is going on. Not off in the future, hoping for something better. Not back in the past, wishing things were different. Here now, whether it’s comfortable, or not.

It’s when we avoid the now-moment that we lose power. That we abandon ourselves. Unfortunately, by avoiding our feelings with substances and experiences, we will never feel better about ourselves.

True transformation happens when we accept ourselves exactly as we are, exactly where we are, right now.

Easy to say, and usually, not so easy to do. Yet, it gets easier once you begin to realize how truly powerful you are.

Next time you find yourself avoiding, whether it’s with food, internet, tv, shopping, alcohol, or any other type of escape, ask yourself what you’re avoiding. Be gentle with yourself. Pause and notice what you’re feeling. If you can, stay with yourself.

Stay with yourself, through thick and thin. Stay at the time when you need yourself the most. Stay to reveal the truth of who you are.

Ideas to help you stay:

Sit, close your eyes, and notice what you feel. Don’t push anything away. Just sit. Don’t worry if you don’t feel peaceful or enlightened. Just sit and notice. Stay with any discomfort.
Breathe deeply, from your belly, and notice the flow of your breath. Notice the beat of your heart. Notice this power within you. Know that this power is always with you.
Send love and compassion to any discomfort you feel. Any and all discomfort is worthy of your love and compassion. If you can’t summon feelings of love and compassion, that’s okay too. Stay with what you are feeling. Notice any insights that arise.
Use EFT Tapping to tap on your feelings. Accept them, and if they’re ready, allow them to release. For information on how to use EFT Tapping, click here.
Connect with your higher consciousness. Use meditation to tune into your higher consciousness. Ask it to help you during challenging times. This added assistance will help you tune into solutions, and relief, you didn’t see before.

For most of us, it’s not possible to stay present at all times. Escapes can be pleasurable and sometimes necessary. And, we can choose to stay present with any escape. However, when escapes turn into chronic avoidance, we will always experience more pain. We can’t maintain the bliss of the escape, so we fall into a funk, or look for new ways to escape.

The key to all of this is to stay. Stay with the discomfort, with love and acceptance, so that it can begin to transform. By being here now, we find the true bliss of a clear mind and soul, as we open to the gifts of the universe.

Peace,

Marian

Do you need help transforming your discomfort? contact me.

Finding Gratitude in the Dark

November 20, 2017 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

With all that’s happening right now in the world, I’m actually finding it easier to feel grateful for what I have. This good, since gratitude is something I use to lift my spirits and optimism.

Frequently, during my meditations, I envision my negative feelings, habits, and beliefs, as gems, hidden in the dark. Sometimes, I envision a friendly group of light-beings with a spray bottles of love, misting me with unconditional LOVE.

Always, during these meditations, I feel a sense of gratitude for my dark places. I shift into a new perception of the deeper meaning of my feelings and habits. Afterwards, I often notice a change in my behavior and life experience.

What I noticed recently, was an ability for me to feel gratitude for some of my ‘faults’ but not others. In other words, I could easily send unconditional love to some of my dark places, but not others. I found myself automatically justifying my negative judgement of certain behaviors or habits, while easily forgiving others. This new perception is now helping me let go of crusty, old self-judgements I took for granted.

And, yeah, okay, some things in life really suck. And it’s not that I want to bury things, or pretend everything’s okay when it’s not (been there, done that, doesn’t work.) Rather, I believe that it’s important to first acknowledge the pain, and then to find gratitude.

This is not a head-thing. It’s not a matter of deciding to be grateful and waiting for it to happen. It’s not a matter of pretending to be grateful. It’s not about ‘shoulding’ yourself to be grateful.

This is about finding gratitude. Finding hidden gems in dark places. Going on a treasure hunt right smack in the middle of the places you’d much rather avoid.

Here are some questions that will assist you in finding gratitude in the dark:

PHYSICAL PAIN OR ILLNESS – When I found gratitude for my own illnesses and heart surgeries, I was able to see how they had enabled me to deepen my spirituality. From my physical pain, I was able to learn what I needed to heal emotionally. In addition, I met wonderful people, learned how to receive love, got really healthy, and on and on and on.

Helpful Questions: What is this illness/pain telling me? What am I learning that will help enhance my life? What enjoyable experiences am I having as a result of this illness?

PERSONAL QUALITIES — My sensitivity always seemed to be a weakness. I was prone to feeling hurt and misunderstood. I was constantly being worried about other people’s feelings and opinions. When I began to find gratitude for my sensitivity I saw all of its incredible qualities: Deep understanding for my clients, strong intuition, compassion for humankind, and so much more. This gratitude helped me let go of so much of the pain.

Helpful Questions: How is this quality helping me be the person I want to be? How did this quality help me navigate a difficult time? How can this quality help me understand myself more deeply?

CURRENT LIFE SITUATIONS: It’s can be really tough to feel grateful for tough times. I’ve found however, that it’s my gratitude that helps shift my situation. For example, by feeling grateful for ‘lean times’ I can see all the ways in which I am not a victim, and how I can actually use the situation to strengthen myself and learn new helpful habits and skills.

Helpful Questions: How is this situation helping me change what needs to change? How is this situation deepening my spirituality or inner strength? How is this situation teaching me something valuable for my future?

CURRENT GLOBAL SITUATIONS: Okay, sometimes it might feel downright impossible to feel grateful for a dictator, an environmental disaster, human rights violations, or political disarray. Without condoning, or excusing anything about what seems unacceptable, you can find gratitude for what happens as a result. For example, finding gratitude for new revelations, new innovations, grassroots efforts, or a deeper understanding of the human condition. Despite my own upset over the current political climate in the USA, I am grateful for my growing ability to discern what’s truly valuable to me, and to speak out more vocally.

Helpful Questions: How is this situation causing positive ripple effects? How could this situation lead to new innovations? How has my awareness changed as a result of this situation? What can I do to help?

Experiment with gratitude in unlikely places.

In Love and Gratitude,

Marian

For a free EFT Tapping Audio, Overcome Your Fear of Shining, click here.

Embrace Your Dark Places

January 25, 2016 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

Candle light in hand, Hope concept

I will admit that during my daily meditations, I sometimes feel as though I’m doing it wrong. Often, I notice a place of constriction, usually in my belly, that just won’t surrender into easy flow. And because it doesn’t feel like love and light, part of me wants to make it wrong.

This making it wrong, however, only serves to cloud my meditation with feelings of self doubt, and worry. Exactly what I’m trying to avoid. My resistance to my constriction only heightens the feeling of wrong.

And then, I remember what I’ve told myself, and my clients, so many times. This dark place within me is calling for love. Calling for my embrace of unconditional acceptance.

That little girl inside, hiding in the dark, afraid of her own power. Afraid to unravel and illuminate her light.

She waits patiently, persistently. I feel the pain of her clench.

So this time, I stay long enough and listen closely enough. And I understand: she’s waiting for my help.

It’s when, and only when, I embrace her deeply with love and acceptance, that she begins to unravel. That she summons the courage to re-ignite her light.

It happens every time. When I embrace the place I’m judging, and hiding, I get the shift I’m longing for.

In this world filled with judgment and competition, it can feel impossible to accept our darkest places. But resisting our darkness only grows it’s persistence.

No matter how inconvenient, annoying, painful, unfair, or embarrassing, your dark places are always calling for your unconditional love.

It’s in the embrace that you see your light, hidden beneath the clouds of judgement.

It’s been there all along, waiting for your return.

If you’d like to learn how to use EFT Tapping to clear the negative self-talk that keeps you hiding, Apply here for a complimentary 30-minute Unleash Your Creative Genius Clarity Call.