Marian Buck Murray

Release, Relax, Tap into Your Brilliance. EFT Tapping to help you unleash your creative genius.

Spring Jumpstart: How to Navigate Transitions

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Spring!  Time to spring into action, right?  So why do so many people feel so tired?  Maybe it’s the loss of sleep due to daylight savings.  Maybe it’s Mercury in Retrograde.  Maybe it’s the change of seasons.  Probably, it’s a mix of all of it. 

We bundle ourselves up during winter, cocooning in hibernation. Then comes the loosening of Spring.  More sun. Warmer temperatures.  More action.  All wonderful.  Yet, after the stillness of winter, it can feel somewhat disruptive, distracting, discombobulating.

Transitions of any kind can be hard.  Transitions mean change.  And change can throw us off track, making it harder to spring into action.  Grounding and settling your energy is what will give you the power to reboot and reenergize.

Here’s what to do to feel more grounded, so you can give yourself a nice powerful jump-start.

Meditate — Meditation will help bring you back to center.  Consistent meditation changes your brain, making it more adaptable to stress.  It will help you feel more grounded, less distracted, and more able to navigate transitions. Start with 5-10 minutes at a time.  Add mini meditation breaks to your day to help you stay centered throughout.  Try Insight Timer for free guided meditations and a meditation timer.

Go to bed early – Good sleep is essential to reset your energy supply.  Turn off electronic devices.  Let your energy settle.  Sleep in a dark room.  Make up for lost sleep.

Walk in Nature – Walk on the softening Spring earth.  Sense yourself grounding with each step.  Breath the air. Smell the air.  Notice life emerging.  Merge with the energy of Spring.  Allow it to reinvigorate you.

EFT Tapping – Tap a few rounds around the points to help yourself clear away distractions and anxiety.  EFT Tapping is one of the most effective techniques for lowering cortisol, the major stress hormone.  Lowering cortisol will help you feel more relaxed.  It will also help you release ‘false’ energy that keeps you wired.  For an illustrated diagram of the tapping points, click here.

Get out of Your Beta Brain —  Beta brain wave state activity is very busy, and can lead to distraction and worry.  Use techniques such as EFT Tapping and the Heart Breath Meditation to drop into a deeper, calmer alpha brain state.  It’s from this deeper, calmer place that you can feel inspired to take new action.  For videos on how to use EFT Tapping and Heart Breath, click here.

Get Creative – Nourish and awaken your senses.  Follow your intuition, and do something that will help you drop into creative, effortless flow.  In this space, let go of how things should be, and allow yourself to be reinvigorated by your own creative power.

Nourish Yourself —  Springtime is time to detoxify. Detoxify your diet with plenty of water,
leafy greens, colorful veggies, seaweeds, and probiotic foods.  A diet rich in plant foods is anti-inflammatory, and helpful for allergies. Herbal teas such as Nettle, Ginger, Rooibos, Peppermint, can also be helpful.  By cleaning up your diet, and clearing out the toxins, you will feel energized to move forward.

Happy Spring!

In Gratitude,

Marian

Need some encouragement to help you get going?  Contact me.

Let Go of Trying to Fix It

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I hear it again and again from my clients.  And in the meetup group I run for sensitive, empathic people.  It’s hard to let go of the desire to fix what’s wrong.  It seems that for sensitive people, there’s truly is an innate sense of responsibility that drives us not only to help people, but to try to fix what’s wrong as well.

There’s nothing wrong with helping.  There’s nothing wrong with showing compassion and empathy for others. Sometimes, there’s nothing wrong with fixing.  What gets us into a pickle is when we believe it’s our responsibility to fix other people’s problems.

It might feel natural to want to fix things.  And that’s okay.  So often, however, we want to fix things because we feel uncomfortable when others are uncomfortable. 

Because we easily pick up on what others are feeling, it’s only natural that we would want to stop what hurts.

This, however, is not always possible.  Nor is it warranted.  Just because we have an innate sense of responsibility, it doesn’t mean we need to take responsibility in all situations. 

So, what do we do when we are confronted with the discomfort and disappointment of others? 

As hard as it might feel, it’s truly about surrendering to the moment, and accepting whatever is happening.  It’s about relaxing into the discomfort of not-knowing.  It’s in this allowing that we are able to respond most effectively. It’s in this acceptance that we sometimes realize that our love and compassion is all that’s needed.    

Recently my daughter became quite ill from anesthesia she received for a minor surgery. She couldn’t even hold down water. She eventually became so severely dehydrated that we took her to the ER. 

As a mother, I wanted to fix things.  I wanted to tell her exactly what to do to feel better.  I wanted to find the answers that would solve her problem.  But, no matter what I tried, I couldn’t help her.  She just kept throwing up.  And so, I relaxed.  I relaxed into the not-knowing.  I relaxed into the extreme discomfort.  I relaxed into letting go of how I thought things should be. 

And it was in that relaxation that I found the strength to truly be there for her as she struggled through her pain.  It was all I could do.  All I was meant to do.  All that was needed.  Once we got to the ER, I took care of necessary details, and then I stepped back and allowed the nurses and doctors to help her.  I also allowed the disappointment that even this help didn’t prove to immediately heal her. 

Thankfully, my daughter did recover, the effects from the anesthesia finally dissipated, and she’s back on her feet.  The ER fluids were likely a life-safer.  But in the end, it was a daily waiting game until she finally healed.

Here are Some Steps to Let Go of Trying to Fix Things:

Relax – This will allow you the clarity you need.  Clarity will allow you to see if your help is actually needed, or warranted.  In order to relax, try a combination of deep breathing, EFT Tapping, meditation, soothing music, Tulsi tea, yoga, aromatherapy, or any other technique that helps you.

Get Comfortable with Discomfort — Let go of resisting someone else’s pain.  Instead, step into the role of compassionate witness.  Compassionate witnessing allows you to honor and validate someone’s pain.  This witnessing, without fixing, can be profoundly helpful.

Respond – As necessary.  Fixing and helping are not the same thing.  You can help someone without fixing their problems.  You can be there for a person, to truly help them during their time of need.  Often, that’s the best help there is.  And, in some situations, sometimes saying “NO, I can’t help right now” might be the most helpful response of all.  

With practice we can learn to create balance.  We can learn to ask for help as we need it.  We can let go of believing we’re responsible for fixing what cannot be fixed.

Sometimes, we just have to surrender, and wait it out.

Blessings,

Marian

Need help letting go of feeling so responsible?  Contact me.

You Are Enough: How to Cultivate Self-Love

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Without ample self-love, you will never feel good enough, successful enough, beautiful enough, or loveable enough.  It truly is that simple.  And…if only it were that simple!

Self-love, authentic, non-egoic self-love, can feel tricky.  We’re often taught to diminish ourselves, so as not to brag or boast. And, for sensitive people, it can feel especially tricky. Sometimes it feels okay to love and accept everyone, except, of course, ourselves.

But, tricky as it is, self-love is crucial for a genuinely happy, successful life.  It’s something I am continually cultivating for myself.  Something I’ve finally learned how to do for myself. Something I’ve finally realized is the key to it all.

Here are some ways to cultivate self-love.

You Are Not Your Negative Self-Talk — Get really clear about this.  All of your negative self-talk, and limiting beliefs, come from somewhere else. We learn what to say and believe about ourselves from our family, teachers, and friends. We pick it up from the air that we breathe.  We see it everywhere we look.  And even if seems to be true, that doesn’t make it true.  It is societal hearsay, and it’s certainly NOT who you are.

Clear Out the Clouds of Doubt and Negativity — Use techniques, such as EFT Tapping,  to clear out the clouds of doubt and negativity.  Again, no matter where the negativity comes from, it doesn’t belong in your body and mind. EFT Tapping is a wonderful technique for deactivating old negative feelings and thought patterns. Contact me to learn more.

Forgive Yourself –Without forgiveness, your negative self-beliefs will stay in the dark, pestering you again and again.  Punishing yourself for the past helps no one.  Make amends as appropriate, then move forward.  Try using Ho’oponopono to help yourself let go of self-blame. To use Ho’oponopono, bring to mind something you’re blaming yourself for, hold your hand over your heart, and repeat the words:  I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You, I Love You.  By repeating this mantra, you will help yourself release negative feelings towards yourself.

Cultivate Self-Loving Habits — Daily habits.  Ask yourself, what is the most loving thing I can do for myself?  It might be getting up early to meditate. Or carving out daily alone time.  Or taking a luxurious bath.  Or honoring your needs with a series of wellness sessions. It might mean committing to a new health routine which will benefit your overall well being.  Be clear about the difference between loving and ‘improving’ yourself.  Each day, ask yourself: “How can I love myself today”, and keep this question fresh throughout your day. 

Use Loving Affirmations — Create a collection of affirmations and mantras which will help you increase feelings of self love.  Use affirmations such as “I love myself, exactly as I am,” or “I can do it,” or “I am open and receptive to love.”  Find what works for you.  And, remember, repetition is crucial for success.  Repeated affirmations will gradually help your subconscious mind believe what you don’t currently believe about yourself. 

Say I Love You To Yourself — Put your hand on your heart, close your eyes, and say: “I love you.” Repeat for 5 minutes.  Simple, and powerful. 

Meditate on a Love Bubble — Sit quietly, close your eyes, and breathe deeply, from deep down in your belly.  As you breathe, deeply and slowly, imagine that you are surrounded by an iridescent bubble. Imagine that this bubble is filled with unconditional love.  And that this love is here to soothe you, hold you, and love you. The more you practice this, the more powerful it will become.

Stay with yourself —  Even, and especially when the going gets tough.  Stay in the moment, instead of avoiding with drink, food, tv, internet, or whatever you use to avoid tough feelings. When you’re going through a tough time, allow yourself to stay with the feelings, loving them as you would love a hurt child. It’s this love and acceptance that will help you transform the darkness.

Even when you waver in and out of self-love, it’s always there for you.  Come back to it.  Cultivate it.  Remember,  love is here for you, even in your darkest moments.

In Love and Gratitude,

Marian

Want more self love?  Come to YOU ARE ENOUGH, DAILY PRACTICES TO BOOST SELF LOVE, February 24 at the Lotus Lounge Holistic Sanctuary in Morristown NJ.  Click here for more info and registration. 

Clear and Focused

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January is a time to reboot, refocus, and get clear about our lives.  Despite the cold here in New Jersey, it’s an invigorating time of year, and I love it.  As I look out my back window, past the bare winter branches, the view is clear, far, and wide.  The possibilities feel endless. 

Along with these endless possibilities, comes the need for focused clarity.  Gazing into the far off  yonder feels freeing, and inspiring, yet I know I can’t stay there.  It’s time to get back to work.  Back into focus. It’s time for renewed clarity.

Here are some tips to get back into focus after a distracting holiday season, or at any time that you feel the need to clear your mind of all the muddle.

Meditate  — The practice of meditation will help you clarify and calm your mind. The act of focusing on your breath helps train your mind to focus when and where you need to focus.  I talk about meditation all the time, because it works.

Fresh Air – With colder weather, it might be tempting to stay inside.  Ignore the temptation.  Being out in the fresh air allows you to breathe in more oxygen. When your brain gets more oxygen, it functions more efficiently, boosting clarity and concentration.

EFT Tapping —  EFT tapping does wonders for a distracted, overworked mind.  The act of tapping helps bring you back into your body. In addition, it helps lower cortisol, thereby returning more blood to the thinking part of your brain, increasing its efficiency.  And, tapping helps bring your brainwave state from a beta level to an alpha level.  An alpha brainwave state will help you feel more calm and focused. Contact me to learn more about EFT Tapping.

Get Clear about Fear – Sometimes fear will make us choose distraction over focused action.  Often, we’re not fully aware that fear is causing us to stay distracted. Take time to look at what you’re avoiding by being distracted. Notice any fear that comes up around whatever it is you’re avoiding.  Sometimes it’s enough just to acknowledge the fear, and take action anyway. Other times you might want to use EFT Tapping, or talk with a practitioner or therapist for help. Contact me if you’d like help releasing fear.

Positive Self-Talk – Keep your eye on the prize.  Notice what you’re saying to yourself.  Keep yourself in a positive space by continually telling yourself you can do it.  For example, repeat to yourself that you love being creative, productive, successful, disciplined,  etc.   In her book Becoming, Michelle Obama describes how she successfully uses the refrain : Am I Enough? – Yes I am, to help herself overcome big challenges.  Remember that you too, are enough! Get the positive talk going, and keep it going.  It’s amazing what it can do to improve your self-perceptions.

Eat Green and Clean —  A clean, green diet will do wonders to increase clarity and focus.  Dark green and cruciferous vegetables are especially helpful for detoxifying the blood.  The fewer toxins in your system, the more focused you will be.  In addition to increasing vegetable consumption,  reduce or eliminate foods that contribute to toxification.  These foods include refined carbohydrates, wheat products, sugar, alcohol, and processed foods with artificial ingredients.  And, remember to drink plenty of water.

Music —  I use an app called Focus@Will. This works so well for me that I sometimes actually resist it when I don’t want to get down to work.  There are numerous apps with music designed specifically for studying, writing, working, etc.  Used regularly, this type of music will cue your mind to come into focus. 

Aromatherapy – Aromatherapy is another way to cue the mind.  Candles scented with herbs can be effective.  Aromatherapy infusers, using your favorite essential oils, are also useful.  Experiment, and find what works for you. 

Happy New Year!  Wishing you a fabulous, amazing year, with oodles of LOVE, PROSPERITY, FRIENDSHIP, GOOD HEALTH, FUN, and ADVENTURE!

Peace,

Marian

 

 

Relax & Recharge Tips

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During the holiday season, it’s easy to feel depleted, especially if you’re a sensitive person.  At a time that feels stretched and overcrowded with obligations, it’s crucial to relax and recharge.  Here are a few tips to help.

Meditation —Meditation helps change the brain to make it more effective in times of stress.  Find what works for you.  Even 5 minutes at a time will help.

Breathe — Deep breathing, from the belly, helps to stimulate the vagus nerve, and turn on the relaxation response.

Take a Magnesium Salt bath — Magnesium helps relieve tension, and revitalize the body.

Spend Quality Time Alone — Take a quiet-time-alone break, to nurture and nourish yourself.

Listen to peaceful, uplifting music. —  Choose a favorite from your collection. Or, try the Insight Timer app for  a nice variety.

Use the Heart Breath — This will help you get out of a busy mind, into the peace and calm of your heart. To learn how to use this breath, click here.  (Once on this page, scroll down for the heart breath video)

Try EFT Tapping — Tapping on your karate chop, and other points, will help you feel more centered and relaxed. For a complimentary Peace and Calm guided EFT Audio, click here.

Spend Time Outdoors — Soak up the fresh air and natural beauty.

Move — Stretch, exercise, do yoga, go to the gym, dance, walk.  Movement will help you feel more energized and alive.

Eat green — Green vegetables are full of minerals that will help revitalize your system.

Reduce or Limit Caffeine, Refined Carbs, Alcohol — Caffeine will overwork your adrenal glands, making you feel even more tired.  Refined carbohydrates will cause a spike and drop in your blood sugar, draining your energy.  Alcohol is quite depleting.

Get enough sleep — Sleep in a darkened room, with minimal, or no, electronic devices.

Use what works for you.  Weave moments of relaxation throughout your day.  You’re worth it.

In Courage,

Marian

I’ve created some holiday specials on session packages, click here to learn more.