Marian Buck Murray

Release, Relax, Tap into Your Brilliance. EFT Tapping to help you unleash your creative genius.

5 Tips to Overcome Social Anxiety

by Leave a Comment

It’s that time of year.  The Holidays are upon us.  Work parties, neighborhood gatherings, school concerts, spiritual fundraisers….so many opportunities to socialize.  How wonderful!

That is, of course, if you like to socialize.

And, if you’re a sensitive, empathic person, like me, and most of my clients, you probably deal with social anxiety –sometimes,  frequently, or perhaps always.

That’s why I created this video, 5 tips to help you overcome any social anxiety  you might be experiencing. 

Enjoy.  And, if you’d like some help dealing with anxiety,  reach out, I’m here to help.

Happy Socializing,
Marian

5 Tips to Conquer Holiday Overwhelm

by Leave a Comment

I know you’re busy, so I’ll keep this short.

If you’re like my clients —  big-hearted, compassionate, sensitive, and empathic — you might feel especially overwhelmed during the holiday season.

It creeps up, and before you know it, you’re smack in the middle of it. So many obligations, so much on your plate, so many people to please…

With this in mind, I’ve created a series of 3 videos to help you stay sane during the holidays. In this first video I give you tips to conquer overwhelm. Enjoy!

Stay tuned for the next 2 videos — 5 Tips to Overcome Social Anxiety, and 5 Tips to Deal with Family Triggers.

Take good care of yourself. Contact me for guidance in using EFT Tapping to help make life feel easier.

Peace,

Marian

Make Friends with Fear

by Leave a Comment

 

Halloween — a month-long celebration of spooks.  The kids on my street decorate early, with skeletons lazing in front yards, spiders poking out from curbside gardens, dangerous looking pumpkins standing guard on front porches.  Neighboring streets have spooky graveyards, inflated black cats,  sound machines, you name it.  All in fun…and of course the prospect of trick-or-treating always helps to soothe fearful feelings.  

Why then, can it feel so hard to celebrate the fears that arise daily? The fears that stop us in our tracks.  The fears that keep us small? 

How do we actually make friends with fear? The answers, fortunately, are numerous:   Feel it.  Sit with it.  Understand it.  Stay with it.  Heal it.

Here are some steps to help fear feel more friendly:

Understand it. The more you sit with your fear, the more you’ll be able to see underneath it.  Often our fears stem from a younger place within us.  A time when we were scared, perhaps with no one to help us.  The longer you observe your fear, the more information you will receive to help it heal.

Bring compassion. Compassion for your fear is crucial.  Rather than making your fear ‘wrong’, approach it with a sense of compassion.  Imagine a child who feels afraid.  How would you respond to this child?  With a hug? Reassurance? Love?

Ask yourself what you need in this moment to feel more courageous. Do you need some friendly encouragement?  Assistance or guidance of some sort?  Do you need more information?  When you know what you need, take action to give yourself what you need.

Recognize fear as a friend who wants to keep you safe. Fear is a natural aspect of your biological fight/flight/freeze response.  Although your fear might feel inappropriate for the scope of your circumstances, it is triggered by the part of the brain tasked with keeping you safe.  Often, this response has been conditioned by previous experiences.  Accepting this will make it easier for you to add space between you and your fear, recognizing that it stems from a conditioned, habitual response, not an actual danger. 

Relate to your fear in the moment. Most times our fears are related to past experiences, or future worries.  Getting clear with fear in the moment will help you become more centered.  Rather than being consumed by a scary mind-story — get present and real with your fear.  With practice, you’ll begin to see fear as a feeling, and nothing more.  Remember:  If the fear is true fear, warning you of true danger, you’ll respond most effectively grounded in the present moment.

Meditate. Consistent, daily meditation helps your brain become more effective during times of stress.  It helps facilitate easier access to the relaxation response.  It helps you disentangle from the emotions that seem to control you.  If you’re new to meditation, start with short periods of time.  Even 5 minutes. Gradually build your endurance so that you can sit for longer and longer amounts of time.  Remember, it’s okay that you don’t feel ‘bliss’ right away.  Sitting with your fear, will help it begin to dissipate.  It’s this patience observance of your feelings that helps them transform.

Use EFT Tapping.  EFT Tapping helps neutralize fear, and other painful emotions.   EFT has been clinically proven to reduce cortisol, the major stress hormone, which is elevated during times of fear.  By reducing cortisol, you turn on the relaxation response, allowing your nervous system to relax.  For a video on how to use EFT tapping, click here.

The bottom line:  Making friends with your fear might just be one of the greatest gifts you’ll ever give yourself!

In Courage,

Marian

Need help with fear and anxiety?  Contact me.

Butterfly Wings

by Leave a Comment

I came across this butterfly the other day as I walked in the wildflower garden in my local Reservation.  She was on the ground, flapping her wings, not going very far.  Above her, beckoning, were the wildflowers she had come for.  But there she was, stuck in the dirt.  At first glance I thought she was dying.  At second glance I realized she was showing me exactly what I needed to know.

We are all butterflies in some stage of development.

While some of us are soaring high, many of us are cocooning, or struggling to fly.  Like the butterfly in the garden, we often struggle on the ground, moving in circles, never enjoying full flight.  Our wings, heavy with judgement, feel unable to lift us into the garden where we belong.  Sometimes we’re so burdened with self-doubt that we can’t even budge our wings. 

So, to that beautiful butterfly, I sent my love and deep appreciation for her being on my path that day.  And though she continued to struggle, I held my vision of her well-deserved flight. 

Within moments, just as I was about to move on along my path, the butterfly fluttered up into the garden, alighting on a nourishing blossom.  Satisfied, and happy, I continued my walk and I immersed myself in the fragrant flowers, and the sounds of bees and crickets. 

A while later I found myself back in the spot where I had seen the butterfly.  She was gone.  Though I looked for her in the flowers, on the ground, in the grasses at the edge of the path – I couldn’t find her anywhere. I began to wonder if she had fallen to the ground and staggered off to die. 

So, in that moment, I asked for my higher power to show me the butterfly, or show me it was time to leave.  I looked one more time,  didn’t see her, and  I turned to go. 

And there, right as I turned to go, was the butterfly — flying high amongst the flowers.

Its when we surrender to the power of love, grace, and invisible sources of assistance, that we’re able to embody the power of our wings.  Lifting off of the ground, we fly, reaching higher and higher, until we’re able to see that the garden was here all along.

Peace,

Marian

If you need help lifting your butterfly wings, contact me.

 

 

Stay With Yourself — Be Here Now

by Leave a Comment

I just got back from a beautiful week at the Omega Institute, assisting Dawson Church with the EFT Practitioner Training program.  Throughout the week, we helped participants transform limiting feelings and beliefs with both EFT Tapping and meditation.  It was a transformative, and in many ways miraculous, week for us all.

What became so clear to me (once again), is the importance of accepting all feelings, no matter how uncomfortable.  It’s in the acceptance of these feelings, that we are able to transform our experience.

In this world of ours, so often it’s the striving that takes front seat. How, for example, will we succeed if we don’t strive for more?  And more? And more? And so often, once we get ‘more’, we don’t feel the success we imagined.

The problem with striving is that we’re frequently propelled by a feeling that we’re not enough, or complete, without whatever it is we’re striving for.  You know the refrain:  I’ll be happy when___________. 

The underlying feeling of inadequacy will follow us, until we find a way to stay with it long enough to transform it.

To stay with yourself, to be here now, means to be present with whatever is going on.  Not off in the future, hoping for something better.  Not back in the past, wishing things were different.  Here now, whether it’s comfortable, or not.

It’s when we avoid the now-moment that we lose power.  That we abandon ourselves.  Unfortunately, by avoiding our feelings with substances and experiences, we will never feel better about ourselves.

True transformation happens when we accept ourselves exactly as we are, exactly where we are, right now.

Easy to say, and usually, not so easy to do.  Yet, it gets easier once you begin to realize how truly powerful you are.

Next time you find yourself avoiding, whether it’s with food, internet, tv, shopping, alcohol, or any other type of escape, ask yourself what you’re avoiding. Be gentle with yourself.  Pause and notice what you’re feeling.  If you can, stay with yourself.

Stay with yourself, through thick and thin.  Stay at the time when you need yourself the most.  Stay to reveal the truth of who you are.

Ideas to help you stay:

  1. Sit, close your eyes, and notice what you feel.  Don’t push anything away.  Just sit.  Don’t worry if you don’t feel peaceful or enlightened.  Just sit and notice.  Stay with any discomfort.

  2. Breathe deeply, from your belly, and notice the flow of your breath. Notice the beat of your heart. Notice this power within you. Know that this power is always with you.

  3. Send love and compassion to any discomfort you feel. Any and all discomfort is worthy of your love and compassion.  If you can’t summon feelings of love and compassion, that’s okay too.  Stay with what you are feeling. Notice any insights that arise.

  4. Use EFT Tapping to tap on your feelings. Accept them, and if they’re ready, allow them to release. For information on how to use EFT Tapping, click here.

  5. Connect with your higher consciousness.  Use meditation to tune into your higher consciousness. Ask it to help you during challenging times.  This added assistance will help you tune into solutions, and relief,  you didn’t see before.

For most of us, it’s not possible to stay present at all times.  Escapes can be pleasurable and sometimes necessary.  And, we can choose to stay present with any escape.  However, when escapes turn into chronic avoidance, we will always experience more pain.  We can’t maintain the bliss of the escape, so we fall into a funk, or look for new ways to escape.

The key to all of this is to stay.  Stay with the discomfort, with love and acceptance, so that it can begin to transform. By being here now, we find the true bliss of a clear mind and soul, as we open to the gifts of the universe.

Peace,

Marian

Do you need help transforming your discomfort? contact me.