Marian Buck Murray

EFT and Matrix Reimprinting for Sensitive, Empathic, Creative People. Step out of the shadows and share your gifts and talents.

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Let Go of Family Triggers So You Can Bring More Joy to Holiday Gatherings

November 30, 2018 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

 

Family gatherings can be wonderful.  They can also trigger a host of uncomfortable feelings such as resentment, jealousy, anger, sadness, helplessness, etc.  No matter how old we are, or how many years have passed, it can sometimes feel as though we’re walking into a trance, where we  have no choice but to revert back to our old family roles.

Certainly, the healthier we are emotionally, the easier it is to navigate the family landscape.  We might even feel as though we’re ‘over’ whatever issues we faced in the past.  

But just in case any remnants of those old patterns and feelings get triggered, here are some tips to help your time with family feel easier, and more joyful.

Before You Go:

Try Ho’oponopono – Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian prayer that’s useful for forgiving old wounds. It can be used to clear resentments and negative feelings towards anyone, including family members.  To use Ho’oponopono, bring someone to mind, hold your hand over your heart, and repeat the words:  I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You, I Love You.  It doesn’t matter if you feel you were ‘wronged’ by this person.  By repeating this mantra, you will help yourself release negative feelings towards the person.

Send Love — There are a number of meditations which you can use to send love to your family members. You can use the heart breath meditation to create a field of heart energy which you imagine you are extending to family members.  Also effective is the Eco Meditation, created by Dawson Church.  In this meditation  you can imagine sending a beam of love and light to a family member.  To learn how to use the eco meditation, click here.

Use Creative Visualization – Use creative visualization before an event to imagine it going smoothly. Don’t be concerned with too many details.  Instead, imagine yourself feeling relaxed and happy.  Imagine peaceful conversations, and laughter.  This type of visualization will help you feel more relaxed about the event, and it will make it more likely that you will act in the way you desire, even if others don’t.

EFT Tapping – EFT Tapping is a wonderful tool to help reduce any anxiety you feel about a family event. In addition, EFT can be used to release specific feelings towards family members. For a video to learn how to use EFT Tapping click here.  For one-on-one guidance in EFT to assist you in navigating a family issues, contact me.

While You’re There

Focus on Beauty — Be truly present with your family, and your surroundings.  Show your heart-felt appreciation for any food, gifts, decorations, etc.  Take time to look at each family member and guest. Find something you admire, appreciate, love, like, or are willing to lovingly accept about each.

Don’t Engage with Drama — It’s easy to get triggered by family members, and it’s easy to react in an old, habitual way.  Remember that everyone, including your family members, has their own triggers.  Disengage with the need to react to someone else’s trigger, to avoid reverting to old reactive patterns.  Be mindful of these patterns.  When you feel triggered, or when someone else is triggered, notice the trigger, and allow the intensity of it to pass before responding.  This might mean stepping away for a moment, counting to ten, breathing deeply, or tapping.  Coming back to a place of inner peace will help you communicate in the kindest, most effective way. *See note below

Get Curious – It’s likely you usually feel most comfortable talking with certain family members over others. Step out of your comfort zone and reach out to those you tend to avoid.  Get curious about their lives.  Open your heart, and your ears, to listen to what they have to tell you.  Reach out to make the connection, instead of waiting for someone to do it first.

Honor your needs with self care. Finally, take care of yourself.  Family gatherings can be overwhelming.  Between the work, the anxiety, the emotions, the late hours, it’s easy to get overly saturated.  Especially if you’re a sensitive person.  Taking care of yourself might mean taking a walk outside, excusing yourself for a quick meditation, leaving early, or sitting quietly in a darkened room for a bit.  For extended gatherings, weave moments of self-care throughout. 

In Peace, Love, and Gratitude,

Marian

 

*For an abusive or volatile situation, emotional or physical, give yourself permission to decline the invitation, or leave early when necessary.  Seek help when needed.

 

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: creative visualization, eco-meditation, EFT tapping, family triggers, heart breath, ho'oponopono, holiday family gatherings, joyful family gatherings, let go of family triggers, self-care, send love

Daily Practices for Focus, Peace, & Joy

September 10, 2018 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

 

I know sometimes I must sound like a broken record.  I repeat myself again and again to my clients, my students, my friends, my family.  And I’ll say it again.  Self-care is not an option if you want to live a happy, peaceful life.  Especially if you’re a sensitive, empathic, person.

Self-care, of course, includes the obvious elements, such as a nutrient-rich-plant-rich-diet, plenty of exercise, and good hygiene. None are optional if you want to maintain good health.

To maintain happiness and inner-peace, self-care must include emotional, spiritual practices as well. My daily practices, which I share below, help me stay centered, focused, optimistic, connected, creative, productive, peaceful, and happy. 

These are the tools and techniques that work for me.  With most, I mix and match, depending upon the day, the amount of time available, and my emotional/spiritual needs.  Some practices, such as Meditation and Gratitude, are non-negotiable, and I do them every day.

Most days I usually do at least 4 or 5 of these techniques. Some days I do only 2.  Other days I might do them all!  Some are so quick, or so easy to fit in my day, that they don’t take ‘extra time.’   And, truth be told, when I don’t do anything, which does happen once in a while, I feel completely off, out of focus, and anxious.  That’s why I use a checklist to track my progress.  I’ve learned the hard way, it’s not worth falling off track.

Create your own plan. Take any of the following techniques that work for you, add in your own, and tuck them into pockets throughout your day.  Choose at least one activity, such as meditation, to do each day, no matter what. None of the activities need to take a lot of time.  And, as long as you’re peppering them throughout the day, you’ll be optimizing your energy.

Meditation
I practice some form of meditation, each day, from 10 to 60 minutes. Some days I do two or more shorter meditations.  Insight Timer,  is a fantastic, free, app, that I use to time my meditations.  It comes with an extensive library of sounds, bells, meditations, and music.

Another meditation I love is the Eco-Meditation, created by Dawson Church, founder of EFT Universe.  When I assist at Dawson’s professional trainings, we practice this meditation each morning before we begin class for the day.  At home, I use this meditation on my own, without audio. Click here for the Eco-Meditation instructions

Abundance Meditation
For this meditation, I use The Abundance Book, by John Randolph Price.  It’s a little green book with 10 principle statements. I meditate on one principle a day for 15 minutes, for 40 days or more.  This helps keep me in an abundant, spiritual, frame of mind.

Gratitude Meditation
Closing my eyes, I meditate for 5 minutes on something for which I am grateful.  It can be something that I already have, or that I would like to have. This sense of gratitude feels truly authentic, and really, really good.

Goals
I hand-write write my goals, in present tense, expressing my gratitude for reaching them. This feels good, and it helps me keep on top of my goals.  I write my goals nearly every day. This takes about 10 minutes.

Morning Pages
Originated by Author Julia Cameron, morning pages are 3 hand-written free-flow pages each morning.  They’re invaluable for clearing the mind, and sparking creative flow.

Yoga or Exercise
Exercising in the morning invigorates me for the rest of the day.  Movement is crucial for efficient energy flow, lymph flow, strength, anxiety release, and more.

Heart Breath
I add the Heart Breath in whenever I feel stuck in my head.  The Heart Breath helps me drop out of a busy, over-worked mind, into the peace and calm of my heart.  It’s a great tool for reducing anxiety.  1 minute, or longer.

Uplifting Reading
Somewhere during my day, I find time to read.  Sometimes it’s work-related, but it’s always uplifting. 

Uplifting Listening
This includes music, podcasts, Hayhouse Radio, audio courses, and more.  I like to listen when I make dinner. This helps keep me in a positive, optimistic, frame of mind.

EFT Tapping
This is an any-time-of-the-day, as-needed, practice.  EFT Tapping is perfect for releasing anxiety, tension, fear, sadness, or any other unwanted feelings that might creep in.  Click here for an illustrated guide for the tapping points.

More Gratitude
Gratitude is something that can be expressed in many ways throughout the day.  In addition to my 5-minute gratitude meditation, I enjoy spontaneous moments of gratitude, or write a gratitude list, or a thank you note, or simply say thank you, thank you, thank you as I do something that brings me joy.  Gratitude helps me feel more connected to the spiritual world.  And, the more grateful I am, the more I have to be grateful for.

Nature Walk
Nothing better for pleasing the senses and soothing the soul.

Enjoy!  And reach out — let me know what works for you! 

Love,

Marian

To schedule a FREE 30 Minute Call, where I’ll help you get clear on your best strategy to honor your sensitivity, and give you a tool to turn it into a superpower,  click here.

Filed Under: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Uncategorized Tagged With: abundance meditation, daily practices, daily routine, Dawson Church, eco-meditation, EFT, EFT tapping, focus, Free Audio, goals, gratitude, happiness, heart breath, Julia Cameron, meditation, morning pages, peace

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What my clients say:

The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with nature.

Joseph Campbell
Certified EFT Practitioner

Disclaimer: The information and concepts presented on this website are for educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition. It is not intended to substitute for the advice, treatment and/or diagnosis of a qualified licensed medical professional.

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