Marian Buck Murray

EFT and IFS for Sensitive, Creative People. Empower yourself self-compassion and deep understanding.

Finding Gratitude in the Dark

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With all that’s happening right now in the world, I’m actually finding it easier to feel grateful for what I have.  This good, since gratitude is something I use to lift my spirits and optimism.

Frequently, during my meditations, I envision my negative feelings, habits, and beliefs, as gems, hidden in the dark. Sometimes, I envision a friendly group of light-beings with a spray bottles of love, misting me with unconditional LOVE. 

Always, during these meditations, I feel a sense of gratitude for my dark places.  I shift into a new perception of the deeper meaning of my feelings and habits. Afterwards, I often notice a change in my behavior and life experience.  

What I noticed recently, was an ability for me to feel gratitude for some of my ‘faults’ but not others.  In other words, I could easily send unconditional love to some of my dark places, but not others.  I found myself automatically justifying my negative judgement of certain behaviors or habits, while easily forgiving others. This new perception is now helping me let go of crusty, old self-judgements I took for granted.

And, yeah, okay, some things in life really suck.  And it’s not that I want to bury things, or pretend everything’s okay when it’s not (been there, done that, doesn’t work.)  Rather, I believe that it’s important to first acknowledge the pain, and then to find gratitude.

This is not a head-thing. It’s not a matter of deciding to be grateful and waiting for it to happen.  It’s not a matter of pretending to be grateful. It’s not about ‘shoulding’ yourself to be grateful.

This is about finding gratitude.  Finding hidden gems in dark places.  Going on a treasure hunt right smack in the middle of the places you’d much rather avoid.

Here are some questions that will assist you in finding gratitude in the dark:

  1. PHYSICAL PAIN OR ILLNESS – When I found gratitude for my own illnesses and heart surgeries, I was able to see how they had enabled me to deepen my spirituality.  From my physical pain, I was able to learn what I needed to heal emotionally.  In addition, I met wonderful people, learned how to receive love, got really healthy, and on and on and on.

Helpful Questions:  What is this illness/pain telling me? What am I learning that will help enhance my life? What enjoyable experiences am I having as a result of this illness? 

  1. PERSONAL QUALITIES —  My sensitivity always seemed to be a weakness.  I was prone to feeling hurt and misunderstood. I was constantly being worried about other people’s feelings and opinions.  When I began to find gratitude for my sensitivity I saw all of its  incredible qualities:  Deep understanding for my clients, strong intuition, compassion for humankind, and so much more.  This gratitude helped me let go of so much of the pain.

Helpful Questions:  How is this quality helping me be the person I want to be?  How did this quality help me navigate a difficult time? How can this quality help me understand myself more deeply?

  1. CURRENT LIFE SITUATIONS: It’s can be really tough to feel grateful for tough times.  I’ve found however, that it’s my gratitude that helps shift my situation.  For example, by feeling grateful for ‘lean times’ I can see all the ways in which I am not a victim, and how I can actually use the situation to strengthen myself and learn new helpful habits and skills. 

Helpful Questions:  How is this situation helping me change what needs to change?  How is this situation deepening my spirituality or inner strength? How is this situation teaching me something valuable for my future?

  1. CURRENT GLOBAL SITUATIONS: Okay, sometimes it might feel downright impossible to feel grateful for a dictator, an environmental disaster, human rights violations, or political disarray.  Without condoning, or excusing anything about what seems unacceptable, you can find gratitude for what happens as a result.  For example, finding gratitude for new revelations, new innovations, grassroots efforts, or a deeper understanding of the human condition.   Despite my own upset over the current political climate in the USA, I am grateful for my growing ability to discern what’s truly valuable to me, and to speak out more vocally.

Helpful Questions:  How is this situation causing positive ripple effects?  How could this situation lead to new innovations?  How has my awareness changed as a result of this situation? What can I do to help?

Experiment with gratitude in unlikely places. 

In Love and Gratitude,

Marian

 

For a free EFT Tapping Audio, Overcome Your Fear of Shining, click here.

 

 

Growing Self Love

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I’m amazed sometimes, by the number of friends and clients, who profess that they don’t love themselves.  Or, that they would like to love themselves, but it feels too hard, or they just don’t know how.  

And when I take a real good look at myself, usually during times of meditation, I notice all the ways in which I’m holding back my own self-love.

Why is it so hard to love ourselves?  Perhaps because we’re all good students, and we took to heart all the many criticisms and nasties thrown at us throughout our lives.  We’re taught to be nice to others, but not to ourselves.  And, many of us were taught that self-love is egotistical, and just plain wrong.

But what I believe, from my experience, and  from what I’ve witnessed with my clients, is that the best way to express authentic love and compassion for others, is to first love ourselves.

Self-love is what will help you take better care of yourself.  It will help you navigate the world with more confidence and courage.  It will help you stop procrastinating, so you can get more done.  It will help you create boundaries to keep you safe.  Self-love is the one elixir we cannot thrive without.

As important as it is however, self-love is often pushed to the far back burner of our lives. 

To consistently tap into feelings of self-love, it’s crucial to create rituals and routines which will help you.  And because self love might be a somewhat foreign concept, repetition is essential. Following are some of my personal favorites.

Here are some ways to grow self-love:

Acknowledge Yourself.  Write down a list of personal qualities and attributes you like or love about yourself.  For example, “I love the way I get up early in the morning” or “I love my kindness”, or “I love the way I am with animals”, or “I love the way I listen to others”.  Write down as many authentic qualities/attributes as possible. Keep this list handy and read it to yourself daily.  Add to it frequently.

Spend 5 Minutes Meditating on Loving Yourself.  Set a timer for 5 minutes.  Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and begin to scan your body, contemplating your love for your hands, your feet, your mouth, etc.  As you do this, consider the ways in which your body helps you. (Don’t focus on how it looks.) Next, allow yourself to feel love for your heart, your digestive system,  your reproductive system, your lungs, your skin and your brain. Follow this with love for your intuition, your kindness, your sense of compassion, and any other personal qualities that come to mind.  Experiment with this technique by doing it daily for 1 week or more, and adjust as feels right for you.

Write a letter to yourself from a younger, or older self.  Sometimes it helps to view yourself from a different angle.  Write a letter from a younger self, describing the ways all she loves you.  Write a letter from an older self with words of compassion and encouragement.

Use EFT Tapping.  EFT Tapping can be very helpful to release unwanted emotions and negative mind chatter.  When we’re feeling anxious, sad, angry, or irritated, it’s hard to feeling loving towards ourselves, or others. If you’re familiar with the tapping points, focus on an unwanted feeling, while tapping on the points. This will help release the feeling.  If you’d like to learn more about EFT Tapping, contact me.  For an illustrated diagram of the tapping points, click here.

Visualize Yourself In A Field of Unconditional Love.  Here’s a visualization adapted from a technique I use with my Matrix Reimprinting clients.   Close your eyes.  Imagine you are standing in a field.  Allow the field to fill with Divine Unconditional Love – whatever way you choose to see it.  Allow yourself to be caressed and nurtured by this love. Allow yourself to feel the gentle compassion of unconditional love, that notices nothing but your inherent beauty.  Stay here as long as you like

Take Care of your Body.  The better you take care of yourself, the better you’ll feel about yourself.  Eat a nourishing, healthy diet.  Get plenty of rest.  Drink lots of water.  Get regular exercise.  Meditate.  As needed, or as afforded, schedule yourself for massage, chiropractic, reiki, EFT tapping, or any other body-mind modality that will assist you in feeling the best you can feel.

Lots of Love,

Marian

BRING THE LOVE

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divine-mother-front

divine-mother-words

Recently, I was invited to the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck NY to assist Dawson Church in the EFT Level 1 and 2 Certification Training Program.  It was bliss.  I got to spend 5 days amongst the autumn foliage in the beautiful Hudson Valley.  I received 3 delicious vegetarian meals a day.  I felt uplifted, surrounded by the peaceful community of seekers gathered to learn more about themselves.

On my last day, as I walked back to my cabin from breakfast, I looked down to see the Divine Mother card, lying in the leaves.  I looked around to see if there were more cards, or if the person who had dropped it was anywhere to be found.  And I saw nothing.  The card was for me.

I’ve spent the days since using my morning meditation to focus on the meaning of the Divine Mother.  What I saw right away, was that I was being asked to open to unconditional love.  Unconditional love for myself.

Next I saw that the energy of Divine Mother was begging to be a part of me, asking me to embody her essence.

I was being asked to fully own my power as a woman and mother, full of unconditional love, strength, wisdom, ingenuity, and creativity.

Yes.  Yes. Yes. And Yes.

Of course, the only way to embody this energy, is to truly, once and for all, surrender to the flow of unconditional love for myself.  I’m surrendering all the places I’ve judged, pushed away, and hidden.  All that’s frightened, sad, unspoken within me.  I’m surrendering all to LOVE.

As we now move forward from the painfully divisive 2016 US election, I have an even deeper understanding of what’s being asked of me, and of all of us.

LOVE.  Pure, simple, profound LOVE. LOVE is the only answer to help us come together in peaceful acceptance of each other.

And we can only share love in its fullest when we first feel it for ourselves.  When we judge and belittle ourselves, we increase both inner and outer discord.  Inner discord taints the love we bring to the world.

So let’s bring it on.  Let’s bring on the LOVE. 

The more you love yourself, the more love you will naturally radiate into our world. And when you love yourself, it will be easier to assist in activities which increase love, compassion, and understanding among people and friends who disagree.

Here are some tips to increase self-love.  Use often:

Sit quietly and breathe deeply. Imagine you are breathing in and out of your heart.   Notice any discomfort, or discord within you.  Allow yourself to breathe love into any place that feels discomfort.  Breathe this way for a few minutes, allowing yourself to release and soften inner judgements.

Write a love letter to yourself. Write a letter describing all the qualities you appreciate about yourself.  You can use this technique in different ways – as yourself, as your younger self to your current self, as your wise older self to your current self, as yourself to your younger self, etc.

Beautify your surroundings. Do this with the intention of nurturing your spirit. This could be as simple as cleaning up your space.  It might mean getting flowers for yourself.  Or, try adding your own art work, or craft work, to your workspace.

Keep a collection of positive quotes and affirmations, which will help you believe in yourself. Peruse them when you need a lift.

Do something loving for a friend, family member, or neighbor. Tap into the feeling of being a loving person.

Use EFT Tapping to release stuck beliefs and self-criticisms. EFT Tapping helps to untangle and soften negative inner talk. Contact me to learn more.

My love to you,

Marian

To apply for a free 30-Minute Unleash Your Creative Genius Call, click here.

Embrace Your Dark Places

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Candle light in hand, Hope concept

I will admit that during my daily meditations, I sometimes feel as though I’m doing it wrong. Often, I notice a place of constriction, usually in my belly, that just won’t surrender into easy flow.  And because it doesn’t feel like love and light, part of me wants to make it wrong.

This making it wrong, however, only serves to cloud my meditation with feelings of self doubt, and worry. Exactly what I’m trying to avoid. My resistance to my constriction only heightens the feeling of wrong.

And then, I remember what I’ve told myself, and my clients, so many times. This dark place within me is calling for love. Calling for my embrace of unconditional acceptance.

That little girl inside, hiding in the dark, afraid of her own power. Afraid to unravel and illuminate her light.

She waits patiently, persistently. I feel the pain of her clench.

So this time, I stay long enough and listen closely enough.  And I understand: she’s waiting for my help.

It’s when, and only when, I embrace her deeply with love and acceptance, that she begins to unravel. That she summons the courage to re-ignite her light.

It happens every time. When I embrace the place I’m judging, and hiding, I get the shift I’m longing for.

In this world filled with judgment and competition, it can feel impossible to accept our darkest places. But resisting our darkness only grows it’s persistence.

No matter how inconvenient, annoying, painful, unfair, or embarrassing, your dark places are always calling for your unconditional love.

It’s in the embrace that you see your light, hidden beneath the clouds of judgement.

It’s been there all along, waiting for your return.

If you’d like to learn how to use EFT Tapping to clear the negative self-talk that keeps you hiding,  Apply here for a complimentary 30-minute Unleash Your Creative Genius Clarity Call.