Self Doubt | Marian Buck Murray

Exit the Mind Loop

August 24, 2022 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

In our society we’re trained to give the brain most of, if not all, the credit. Many of us believe that the brain is the only place to go when we want to solve a problem. We say things like: I’m wracking my brain. Let me think about it. And, I’m trying to wrap my head around it…

When left unchecked, all of this brain activity takes an enormous amount of energy. Especially when we’re worried. It’s easy to overthink and overanalyze our circumstances. And, sometimes, often without realizing it, we can get trapped in a punishing mind loop.

The brain, of course, with its myriad functions, is an amazingly intricate and powerful organ. However, when we rely solely on the brain to help us, we miss out on the treasure chest of wisdom residing in the rest of the body. A mind loop, after all, rarely resolves itself with thinking alone.

And when it comes to accessing creative or intuitive flow, it’s the thinking brain that presents the biggest hurdles. Typically, the more we think about being creative or intuitive, the more we doubt and second-guess ourselves. A self-doubting, second-guessing mind blocks intuition, and cripples creative flow. The longer we engage with the mind loop, the further we take ourselves from the luscious experience of flow.

So, while recognizing and respecting the power of the brain, it’s important to consult the body and heart, in order to facilitate flow.

Here are some ways to help yourself drop out of a busy mind loop:

Breath Deeply – Deep breath will help activate the relaxation response. In addition, by focusing on your breath, you take your focus off of your busy mind.

Move your Body Parts– Mindfully move different parts of your body. Pay attention to your hand, your leg, your foot, etc. Notice any sensations with that arise with each part of your body. Notice any information or metaphors your body might be expressing. Observe what happens with your thoughts when you purposefully steer them to your body.

Get up and Dance! — Dancing, especially to music you love, will help you break out of a troubling mind set. Get silly and exaggerate your moves. If you’re up for it, shake your body from top to toe. Shaking will help release anxiety and loosen your body and mind.

Chant — Chanting a simple mantra, such as Om, for 10 -20 minutes is an effective way to exit a mind loop. By focusing on a simple phrase, chanting will help you transcend the mind. In addition, chanting helps activate the vagus nerve, thereby relaxing the nervous system. If you’re new to chanting, start with a few minutes, and work up to longer periods of time.

Use the Heart Breath — The heart breath will help you relax a busy brain. According to experts, the heart’s electromagnetic energy field is as much as 5000 times greater than the brain’s. This means that we can use the heart to entrain the brain into a calmer brain wave state. This will help boost effective brain function. Click here to access my Heart Breath Meditation on Insight Timer.

Use EFT tapping – An anxious mind can trigger a spike in cortisol. EFT Tapping has been clinically proven to be one of the most effective techniques for reducing cortisol. By reducing cortisol and calming the nervous system, we help ourselves drop out of the mind loop. This enables us to think more clearly, in a solution-based way. Contact me to learn more about EFT Tapping.

Here’s to giving your busy mind a well deserved break!

Peace,
Marian

Contact me to learn how EFT Tapping can help you exit a painful mind loop.

Butterfly Wings

September 27, 2019 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

I came across this butterfly the other day as I walked in the wildflower garden in my local Reservation. She was on the ground, flapping her wings, not going very far. Above her, beckoning, were the wildflowers she had come for. But there she was, stuck in the dirt. At first glance I thought she was dying. At second glance I realized she was showing me exactly what I needed to know.

We are all butterflies in some stage of development.

While some of us are soaring high, many of us are cocooning, or struggling to fly. Like the butterfly in the garden, we often struggle on the ground, moving in circles, never enjoying full flight. Our wings, heavy with judgement, feel unable to lift us into the garden where we belong. Sometimes we’re so burdened with self-doubt that we can’t even budge our wings.

So, to that beautiful butterfly, I sent my love and deep appreciation for her being on my path that day. And though she continued to struggle, I held my vision of her well-deserved flight.

Within moments, just as I was about to move on along my path, the butterfly fluttered up into the garden, alighting on a nourishing blossom. Satisfied, and happy, I continued my walk and I immersed myself in the fragrant flowers, and the sounds of bees and crickets.

A while later I found myself back in the spot where I had seen the butterfly. She was gone. Though I looked for her in the flowers, on the ground, in the grasses at the edge of the path – I couldn’t find her anywhere. I began to wonder if she had fallen to the ground and staggered off to die.

So, in that moment, I asked for my higher power to show me the butterfly, or show me it was time to leave. I looked one more time, didn’t see her, and I turned to go.

And there, right as I turned to go, was the butterfly — flying high amongst the flowers.

Its when we surrender to the power of love, grace, and invisible sources of assistance, that we’re able to embody the power of our wings. Lifting off of the ground, we fly, reaching higher and higher, until we’re able to see that the garden was here all along.

Peace,

Marian

If you need help lifting your butterfly wings, contact me.

11 Ways to Change Negative Beliefs

August 15, 2017 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

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Our beliefs are usually so strong we don’t even question them. There are some that we might even keep for a lifetime. It’s often not until something drastic happens that we choose to change them.

Most persistent beliefs are formed when we are young. We form them as a result of being immersed in the life we’re born into. We receive input from our experiences, and from trusted sources such as parents, caregivers, friends, teachers, culture, religious institutions, and community. Our subconscious mind takes this ongoing input to form the bulk of our beliefs. The younger we are, the stronger the belief.

Back when I first began my training in EFT Tapping, I took a serious look at my beliefs. I was amazed at how many of them were actually holding me back. I had limiting beliefs about love, about success, about health, and about money, of course. One of the most incessant beliefs though, was the belief that I was somehow obligated to please people.

As you might imagine, the persistent belief that I had to please people thrust me into a spin of self-doubt and second-guessing whenever I tried to create something. Just the thought of having to please people slowed me down tremendously. Everything felt so difficult – writing newsletters, creating workshops, promoting my business, sometimes even relating to family and friends.

So, I got to work. And, using all the tools in my toolbox, I began unraveling my old limiting beliefs.

Now, I wouldn’t say that I’ve completely let go of all my limiting beliefs. Nor have I let go of my desire to please people. But I have altered my original belief — enormously. I love offering companionship, services, and products that help people feel good about themselves.

But what I no longer believe, is that I am obligated to please everyone, or even anyone.

I love bringing joy and pleasure to the people in my life. No obligation, no second guessing, no doubt, just the pure intention to bring more good into the world. Once I changed my belief from one of obligation to one of free choice, I felt more inspired, and capable, to bring the love.

As I mentioned, once I started looking, I found a number of beliefs that no longer serve me. I didn’t release them all at once. It takes time, focus, and commitment to change beliefs. I am, as we all are, a work in progress. But, what I’ve found, is that the more I unravel my limiting beliefs, the easier and faster it happens.

Remember, a belief is simply a thought, thought over, and over again.

Here are some techniques that can really help you change your negative beliefs:

Affirmations – Decide what you want to believe and create affirmations that state these beliefs. For example, if you’d like to believe you can be healthy, wealthy, and wise, create affirmations such as: I love my healthy body, or I love being financially successful. Repeat your affirmations for 2-5 minutes each, on a daily basis. Repetition is the key to help you create your new belief.

Look for Evidence – Find examples of people who have overcome obstacles similar to your own. Make a file of positive role models you can refer to in times of need. This will help you become aware of the possibility of a new, positive belief about your situation.

Positive quotes – Find uplifting quotes from inspiring people. Search on the internet for quotes about specific topics such as love, peace, abundance, success, happiness, health, etc. Choose your favorites, and post them around your office or home. By continually seeing and reading the positive messages, you will input them into your subconscious, and gradually, you will begin to believe them.

Inspiring podcasts and audios – There are plenty of inspiring podcasts around. Take a look at what’s available on Itunes and Stitcher. Look for podcasts which inspire you, and listen to interviews and information which will help you see things in a new, positive way. Hayhouse Radio is a great resource for shows which are specifically created to help listeners change limiting beliefs.

Rewrite negative thoughts and beliefs – Write down a few of your most persistent negative thoughts or beliefs. Next, rewrite each to state the opposite. When you notice that you’re thinking a negative thought, or contemplating a negative belief, insert the opposite rewrite into your mind. Repeat the positive rewrite a number of times, to help yourself move away from the negative. Remember, repetition strengthens beliefs. Keep repeating new positive phrases, and you will begin to believe them.

Write a new story – Write a new story for yourself. Write it in the present tense. Describe a scene where you have the personal qualities and experiences you desire. Include desired sensory information, such as scents, colors, feelings, and emotions. Read this story to yourself each day. Stand up as you read it. Change it as desired. Meditate on it. Bring the scene to life in your mind-body, and you will begin to see it happen.

Challenge Assumptions – Don’t assume that just because you believe something is true, that it has to be true for you. Remember — a belief is a thought, which is thought over and over. Our beliefs bring us the evidence of what we believe. Challenge your beliefs by asking: Is this true? Is this true for me? Does this belief help me in my life? Do I want to keep this belief? If you answer no to any of these questions, it’s time to alter your belief in the way that feels best for you.

Be Open to the Possibility of New Belief – Think about all the times you’ve changed your beliefs, or had a belief-altering experience. Allow yourself to open to the possibility that even your strongest beliefs can change. By opening to possibility, you will invite the flow of new information, allowing you to begin to create a new belief.

Meditation – My favorite go-to. Meditation, when done on a consistent basis, allows you to drop beneath the logical ego-mind, into the wisdom of your heart and higher self. It is in this place that you can come to clarity about your beliefs. Sometimes just this deepened awareness is enough to make an enormous shift.

EFT Tapping — EFT Tapping helps to loosen the grip of a belief that no longer serves you. If you are familiar with EFT Tapping, try tapping on the points while thinking and/or talking about a limiting belief. This will help loosen and release associated feelings, and neutralize the belief. If you’re not familiar with EFT Tapping, or if you would like assistance in working on a persistent belief, contact me for more information.

Matrix Reimprinting — Matrix Reimprinting uses EFT Tapping and visualization to help unravel long-standing beliefs. Matrix is very powerful, and helps to unravel a belief at the place it was created. This technique is best done with a professional. Contact me if you’d like to learn more about Matrix Reimprinting.

Choose to believe. Believe in the infinite possibilities all around us. Most of all, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

In Courage,

Marian

Struggling with Self Doubt? Check out my new mini-course, Overcoming Self Doubt.

Conquer Self Doubt

April 10, 2017 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

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Sylvia Plath once said, “The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”

A lot of truth in that statement, for how can we create anything if we’re mired in self-doubt?

Self-doubt is the irritating low-vibration undercurrent that can grab ahold when you’re doing your work, or venturing into something new. It defeats us before we even start. When given the power, self-doubt can weaken, diminish, and even attempt to extinguish our hearts desires.

What’s worse, is that most times, instead of questioning it, we believe it. We believe that we’re just not good enough, smart enough, powerful enough, diligent enough to do whatever it is our heart is longing for.

The good news is, we CAN do something about it. We can do simple things that help us move into a place of confidence and trust.

Learning to count on yourself is one of the most important things you’ll ever do.

Here are some suggestions:

Create a new habit which will benefit you in some way. Start small. For example, get up 20 minutes earlier. Meditate at the same each day. Drink water at regular intervals throughout the day. Schedule a specific time to go through your emails. You get the drift. Creating a new habit is about showing up for yourself with consistency. The more consistent you are with following through, the more trust and confidence you’ll have in yourself.

Expand your competence. When we’re mired in self-doubt we’re often steeped in the belief that we’re incompetent in some way. For the areas in your life you’d like to improve, dive in a little deeper. Learn more, practice more, keep at it. Little by little your competence will grow. For areas where you’re already competent, dive even deeper. The more you grow your competence, the more confident and self-assured you’ll feel. You’ll realize that it truly is within your power to make the changes you desire.

Ask for guidance. Confide in a trusted friend or mentor. Discuss what you’d like to achieve if it weren’t for your self-doubt. Gather honest input your strengths and weaknesses. The more knowledge you have, the more power you’ll have to move yourself forward. The more you practice reaching out for input, the freer and more confident you’ll feel in sharing your ideas.

Use your imagination to see what you want. When we’re swimming in self-doubt, we’re usually imagining exactly what we don’t want. Instead, use creative visualization to see yourself experiencing what you desire. Imagine how it feels, and what you are doing. Really get into the scene, and see it going well for you. Doing this will help you increase your sense of confidence. It will also facilitate your creative process, and the flow of ideas.

Use EFT Tapping. EFT Tapping can help clear negative feelings of self doubt, and it can also help you boost positive feelings of confidence. Walking around with a continual undercurrent of self-doubt will only serve to drag you down further. EFT Tapping is quick, powerful, and easy to learn. Contact me to learn about using EFT Tapping to conquer self doubt.

In Courage,

Marian

To apply for a free 30-Minute Unleash Your Creative Genius Call, click here.

To Bloom or Not To Bloom

May 28, 2015 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” ~ Anais Nin.

Watching the peonies in our garden, I am reminded of this quote. I wonder if the blossom feels pain and fear before breaking out of its bud. It surely must be the case for the baby bird, breaking from its shell, the butterfly emerging from its cocoon.

Living within a tight space can feel cozy and safe, like a maternal hug. The outer walls forming formidable protection for emerging growth.

Then comes that day, that exact moment, when everything begins to change. What once felt safe becomes stale and stagnant. Outer protection presses painfully. Coziness turns constricting and restrictive. All the while, an underlying fear of the unknown swells to the surface.

Despite it all, I doubt the blossom, the bird, or the butterfly, ever regret the pain of emergence.

What if fear and discomfort are just signals that it’s time to emerge? What if once we emerge, the sheer joy of blossoming overcomes it all?

Where are you ready to blossom? Are you being signaled? Is it time? Remember that it’s the act of moving through discomfort that has the power to dissolve it. Vibrant life shines brightly on the other side.

Open up to the beauty within you.

It’s time to unlock your brilliance!

Marian

Contact me for more info about a free 30-Minute Tame Your Critic with EFT Tapping Strategy Call. Learn how you can use EFT to release fear and self doubt, and unlock your brilliance.