dreams | Marian Buck Murray

4 Steps to Stop Self Sabotage

October 13, 2016 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

How many times have you found yourself halting your dreams midstream? Frustrating, right? I know. I know. If you’re prone to self-sabotage, like I am, things might seem to go awry just before you’re ready to do something bigger and bolder.

It’s tricky and sly, this sabotaging fiend. And sometimes we don’t even know we’re doing it. Coming down with a cold, or getting injured, may seem like an unfortunate coincidence that interrupts your creative flow. But what if it’s not. What if it’s one more way that you’re getting in your own way, and halting your dreams midstream?

Certainly, there are the obvious self-sabotaging habits such as constantly checking your phone when it’s time to work, or watching Netflix instead of writing your blog, or doing the laundry instead of going to that networking meeting you promised to attend. The list is endless.

Self-sabotage shows up everywhere! It includes: procrastination, neglecting your schedule, ‘forgetting’ to respond to emails or phone calls, not speaking up for yourself, not charging enough for your work, and not reaching for bigger opportunities.

Because I’ve caught myself so many times thrashing against the undertow of self-sabotage, I’ve come up with a process to help stop it before it starts.

Here are 4 Steps to Stop Self Sabotage:

Step 1 Clear the Fear.

Plain and simple, we avoid things that feel scary. Get clear about what frightens you about your dreams. Are you scared of rejection? Of failure? Of too much success? Of what other people will think?

First, write down everything that scares you. Next, take your time to focus on one at a time, tuning into the fear that you feel. Sometimes just bringing your fear to light is enough to help it dissipate. Deep breathing, and EFT Tapping will help to reduce the fear.

Step 2 Drop out of Negative Mind Chatter.

Mind chatter is distracting, and will pull you out of focus. When engaged, negative mind chatter can have the power to halt your progress. When you’re feeling down about yourself, it can feel tempting to drop everything and head out for a glass of wine, or a triple mocha latte. The key is to override the negative chatter.

One of my favorite methods to override negative chatter, is using the heart breath. The heart breath is a method of deep breathing in which you imagine you’re breathing through your heart. Your heart’s energy is more powerful than your brain’s, and will help to entrain your brain into a calmer, more productive state. By dropping out of your head, into your heart, you create a sense of overall peace that will help you get back into creative focus.

Click here for a free Heartbreath Meditation.

Step 3 Get Clear.

Often we sabotage ourselves because we’re not clear about what we really want.

It’s hard to feel motivated and productive when we’re working towards goals that aren’t right for us. It may seem like you’re going for your dreams, but maybe there’s something you’re not seeing.

When you feel like you’re getting nowhere, slow down and get clear. Perhaps you can take a different route towards your dream. Perhaps your dream can take on a completely different form, that’s even better. Sometimes we get so stuck in what we think we should do to reach our dreams, that we lose our passion. Passion and clarity is what drives success.

So to get clear, it’s imperative to listen to your heart. You can do this simply by closing your eyes, breathing deeply, and breathing in and out of your heart, as you would for the heart breath. As you’re breathing this way, ask yourself a question about your situation. Ask a question about your next best steps. Allow your heart to answer. Listen to my free training for more tips to get clear.

Step 4 Activate Your Success & Get Into Creative Your Flow

Once you’re feeling calm, clear, and focused, it’s time to take action. Taking small action steps is the best way to increase your motivation to do more. Write down a list of small steps you can take to reach your goals. And start stepping. You will a sense of success and motivation as you complete each step. This feeling will help you go further, and further. Keep adding to your list of actions steps, so you’re consistently activating your success.

Once you’ve got yourself going, it’s time to get into your creative flow. Creative flow happens when you stay with your work. Sometimes we sabotage ourselves by leaving a project when it feels too hard. But, instead of leaving, when we stay with what’s uncomfortable, and allow higher guidance to come through, we are carried through the act of creation.

For more tips to stop self sabotage, listen to my Free Training: 4 Steps to Stop Self Sabotage and Ignite Your Success.

In Courage,

Marian

Time To Bloom!

April 18, 2016 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

Beautiful pink tulip isolated on white background

It takes courage to bloom. Courage to expand and grow into new expressions of ourselves. These suggestions, based on a flower’s natural rhythm and needs, will help you find the strength and courage to bloom

Warm up. Spring flowers will not grow unless it’s warm enough outside. A cold snap will kill them. Don’t expect to go from cold to full bloom. Warming up is what enables us to endure, and enjoy, the road ahead. Warm up to your dreams. Ease into new experiences. Strengthen your skills by stretching your creative muscles. Add warmth to your environment with supportive people, and encouraging thoughts.

Soften your soil. Just as hard rocky soil impedes plant growth, being hard on yourself will impede your desired growth. Soften your approach to yourself. Understand that growth of any kind needs acceptance of where you are right now. It’s from this softened place of acceptance that you’ll be able to take the steps that will lead you to your dreams.

Clear out the weeds and pests. A garden clogged with weeds, and ravaged by pests, will never grow to its full splendor. Pesky negative mind chatter will clog your mind, making it impossible to think clearly about your next steps. Doubts and worries will squash your ability to create your desired experiences. Releasing mind chatter will help you clear the way to your heart’s desires. EFT tapping is a perfect way to clear the out negative mind chatter. Contact me to learn more.

For a guided Heart Breath audio, to help you drop out of your head, and into your heart, click here.

Nourish your Environment. Nutrient-rich soil, fertilizer, water, and sun all help nourish a healthy garden. Julia Cameron, Author of the Artists Way, recommends regular artist dates with yourself in order to nourish your creative juices. Julia tells students to “fill the well” with activities that inspire and empassion. Nourish your home and work environments as well, with elements that speak to your own unique expression.

Allow ample space. Just as flowers and trees need space between them – your dreams and desires need space as well. Give yourself that space. Allow quiet, undistracted pockets of time to meditate, envision, create, and nurture your dreams.

Ready to clear out the pesky negative thoughts and beliefs that are blocking your success? Click here to schedule a free 30-Minute Unleash Your Creative Genius call.

Baby Steps

January 18, 2016 by Marian Buck-Murray Leave a Comment

Recently, I subscribed to Daily Burn, the online work-out website. It took me a while to get going – it’s been a long time since I’ve followed a regular intensive routine.

Truthfully, I was scared. Though I used to go to the gym 4-5 times a week, my work-outs stopped after my aortic valve surgery in 2008. I recovered quickly from my surgery, but was left with internal scar tissue, which would eventually constrict my left artery. Working out triggered symptoms including breathlessness and a strange ache in my teeth. Over the next two years I would have two stents implanted, to correct the problem.

But even with the corrective stents, I felt wary of strenuous exercise. Sensitive to the possibility of yet another go-around with the scar tissue. So, I’ve been cruising beneath the radar, careful not to raise my heart-rate too high. Doing just enough yoga, just enough walking, to keep myself believing I was doing enough.

Then came Daily Burn. I couldn’t resist the commercials. The free 30-Day Trial. The affordability. (Much cheaper than my old gym.) What’s to lose? I thought. It’s time. And I signed up.

It sat for almost a month. (Or, rather, I sat for almost a month…)

Then, finally, a day before the end of the trial period, I tried it. I was in gun-ho-get-it-back-mode, eager to prove that I was still in pretty good shape. So, of course, I did too much, too fast. I had to quit before the workout ended. And, for days afterwards I hobbled around on embarrassingly sore legs, telling myself: “I’m so out of shape, I’ll never get it back!”

By the time my legs felt better, the trial period was over, and the monthly payments had begun. With nothing to lose, I tried again.

This time, however, I took baby steps. I went for the super-beginner workout. I watched workout videos before trying them. I took breaks when I needed to.

And it worked.

And slowly, but quicker than I thought, I have progressed to harder and harder workouts. My heart feels healthy and strong. My body is energized. I feel great.

Baby steps. Just signing up was a step. Each step I took got me closer and closer to where I wanted to be. What felt hard in the beginning, now feels easy. What felt impossible, feels full of possibility.

Just as muscles need slow, steady work to grow stronger, so do our dreams and intentions.

So often, during an EFT Tapping session with a client, I hear that she’s dissatisfied with her current situation, and longs to have her dreams fulfilled, NOW. Though visualizing a dream is certainly crucial, when we continually grasp for the place we want to be, we’re missing the power of now. Without that, we get nowhere.

It’s in each moment that we can take a step towards our dream. It’s great to have an idea of where we’re going, but it’s our steps that show us exactly where to go. It’s those baby steps of experience that allow us to choose our next step, each step of the way.

Ready to take a step forward? Apply for a free 30-Minute Unleash Your Creative Genius Clarity Call. No matter how stuck you feel, I’ll help you clarify your next best steps to unleash your inner brilliance.