sensitive people | Marian Buck Murray

Being sensitive means many things. As a sensitive, empathic person myself, I know how painful it can be to feel or see certain things more deeply than other people. Over the years I have learned how to manage my sensitivity so that it has transformed into a gift I truly embrace. It’s this process that I share with my clients and students.

If you’re a sensitive person, you might notice that when others’ don’t share your depth of experience, you wind up feeling misunderstood, or even excluded. You might have heightened sensitivities to noise, smell, foods, and environment. If so, these sensitivities can easily contribute to feelings of weakness, illness, and irritability.

In addition, by believing society’s negative critique of sensitivity, you might think that you’re wrong for being ‘so sensitive’. Nothing could be further from the truth!

What’s important for a sensitive person, is to take steps to honor your sensitivity so that it transforms from something painful into a true gift of beauty and strength.

Below are some key steps to turn your sensitivity into a gift that will enrich your life, over and over again.

Understand Your Sensitivity – Understand that if you are one of the estimated 20% of folks with heightened sensitivity, you have a nervous system that feels things more deeply than most. This means that you need to care for yourself differently than someone without your depth of sensitivity. Get to know yourself better. Read up on the different aspects of sensitivity – there are a number of good books on the topic. Understanding yourself will help you increase feelings of self-acceptance. And, self-acceptance is key to honoring your sensitivity.

Get Clear About What Feels Right for You – We’re often brought up to believe that we ‘should’ enjoy certain experiences that others enjoy. Getting clear on what feels right for you might mean you don’t go to that party, or you opt for one or two good friends over a group of friends. Get clear about your ‘shoulds’ versus your true desires. Trust your intuition to help you find the right balance for you.

Honor Your Need for Downtime – Sensitive people need downtime. And, it can be easy to implement. Treat yourself to a peaceful nature walk, or sit quietly in a darkened room. A quick nap can do wonders to calm an overwhelmed mind and nerves. Throughout each day, allow for short periods of downtime. Regular breaks of just 5 minutes each can make a profound difference.

Create Self-Care Rituals — As a sensitive person, you likely lead a rich inner life. Honor it by nourishing it. Meditation, music, art, yoga, salt baths, and mind-body therapies are all wonderful tools to help you nourish your creative, intuitive soul.

Get Enough Sleep – Because sensitive people take in more information, more deeply, they need more sleep than people who are not highly sensitive. This means a daily minimum of 8 hours of sleep, preferably 9. If you have trouble sleeping, be sure to create a soothing bedtime ritual. Eliminate stimulants, and forgo electronics at least 1-2 hours before bed. Know that by just closing your eyes, you will help to calm and replenish your nervous system.

Take steps to honor your sensitivity. It’s a divine gift. And it’s a gift our world needs now.

In Courage,

Marian

To schedule a FREE 30 Minute Call, where I’ll help you get clear on your best strategy to honor your sensitivity, and give you a tool to turn it into a superpower, click here.

Lately, I’ve had a hard time staying focused. With the recent back-to-back hurricanes, fires out west, Mexican earthquakes, ongoing political unrest, global tragedies, and racial disparity, I’ve found myself dipping more and more into my NY Times app, and social media, for continual updates.

There’s a lot going on in the world. And, it’s September. Time to get back to work and back into focus.

If only it were that easy.

No matter where you find the chaos, whether it’s in the outside world, inside your home, or within your mind, it can be hard to focus when chaos is all around you.

I’m a sensitive person, and I often find it very difficult to tune out the chaos. The sensitive part of me just loves to dive in to fix things. (Or at least imagine fixing things.)

I have to be quite vigilant with myself, especially during times of chaos and transition, in order to stay on track and focused. Here some of the techniques I use myself, and which I share with my clients.

Meditate: Meditation helps to discipline your mind. As little as 5 minutes a day, consistently, will help you develop a sense of centered focus. This is a place you can return to over and over again. I start each day with either a 20-minute, or hour-long meditation. When I miss a day, I feel off center. It’s that simple.

Schedule Your Media Visits – Turn off distracting notifications on your cell phone and computer and close your email reader. Decide upon specific times to look at news, social media, and anything else that pulls you down the rabbit hole. It’s amazing how easy it is to focus without all those continual electronic interruptions.

Try Focus@will — I love this service. Focus@will offers a variety of musical choices designed to help keep you on track. I listen to it when I write, and when I’m in creation mode. It really helps. (In fact, I’m listening right now.) Click here for more info.

Take breaks – Take regular breaks to flush out your mind. Even a 5 minute break can work wonders. Use this time to take a walk, sit quietly, breathe, dance, stretch, sing, create, or meditate. This will help you clear your mind from overwhelm, allowing it to focus much more easily.

Set Boundaries – Set boundaries for yourself. If you’re a sensitive person like I am, boundaries are absolutely crucial. It can feel hard to create boundaries, especially if you’re sensitive, but it’s essential for finding focus. Your boundaries might include: regularly scheduled alone-time, saying no to countless volunteer jobs, clearly communicating how you expect to be treated, and limiting your time around people who drain you. Setting clear boundaries can be one of the most rejuvenating things you’ll ever do for yourself.

Try EFT Tapping – At the start of a session with some of my clients, we frequently do a round or two of tapping just to help focus the mind. Tapping will help you clear the fog of an overactive mind, and bring you back into your body. If you’re familiar with the tapping points, tap a few rounds to release distractions, and help yourself feel grounded and centered before you work. Here’s a diagram of the tapping points. To learn more about EFT Tapping, contact me.

Use Creative Visualization – Just the act of using your mind to visualize something will help bring you into focus. If, for example, you’d like to focus on a project or task, first visualize it. Visualize how you would like the experience to unfold. See yourself as focused, and enjoying your work. Do this visualization for 2-5 minutes. Then, start your work.

Use Your Breath – Most times when we’re distracted, we’re actually dissociated, or in a mindless state. This is a perfect time to use deep breathing to help you come back into your body. As you’re breathing, close your eyes, and watch your breath. Consciously send your breath to all parts of your body. Allow your breath to bring you back to the present moment, where focus resides.

Let me know how these techniques work for you. I’d love to know!

In Courage,

Marian

How To Honor Your Sensitivity

8 Ways to Find Focus Amidst Chaos